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I'm been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and will be starting chemotherapy soon. Many people have suggested that I keep a health journal to document my journey through the process.
I'm uncertain about whether or not to journal or blog about the experience and looking for some guidance and feedback from those who did.
If you've done this, I'm curious to know what thoughts you have about having done so. Was it worth doing? Do you find a need to go back and read what you wrote? Did you share it with others?
Hey Charley, sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I think keeping a journal is a great idea, whether just for yourself or to share you story, that is up to you.
One thing you might want to do is look online for other people's blogs about their cancer battles to get an idea of what they are like. I do not personally have one, but I read about other's battles with cervical disease and cervical cancer all the time. I think it is a great way to feel less alone and to learn more about your illness.
My mom did journaling throughout the years she lived with cancer, and she found it immensely helpful.
One of the things about dealing with cancer, particularly when you're going through chemo, is that it can make it really, really hard to focus your mind on things. My mom was an RN/MSN, a brilliant woman and a true powerhouse, and I watched her break down in tears trying to figure out when to schedule a trip on a calendar. That wasn't her; it was the chemo, and the stress of knowing about the battle she was fighting.
She used her journal in several ways. A true journal is just an outpouring of raw emotion, not polished or lovely for anyone else to read, but just a way to process all the upheaval, fear, anger and the rest that go through your head at various times, and she definitely used hers in that way. Those were the volumes that she wouldn't let anyone else look at, and I honestly don't know if she ever went back and re-read them herself. I got the impression that the cathartic effect of pouring out all that emotion onto the paper was in itself the therapy she needed, and that reliving them afterward was not part of her plan, but I could be mistaken.
The other part of journaling is keeping a log of stuff that might be important in your fight, but that you might forget by the time your next visit with the oncologist is scheduled. Say you have an episode of numbness in your fingers one afternoon; is that relevant to the cancer, to the chemo, or to the fact that you took a nap with your arms bent up underneath you? You aren't going to know what the cause is, and the effects of the chemo are such that when you see your doctor a week or two later, you probably won't remember it. My mom used to call it "chemo-brain," and she hated it.
That was also the reason that she always wanted another person, usually my sister or me, along with her when she went to doctor visits. We were the note-takers, the watchers, the reminders, the focused ones, while she went through all the various emotions engendered by the news, good or bad, that she happened to be getting. After a visit like that, she'd pore over our notes for hours, comparing them to what she heard, and asking for clarification when our perceptions differed from hers.
I don't know if that is how other folks use journaling as an adjunct to fighting the kind of battle you are girding up for or not, but it sure seemed to be effective for my mom. Good luck to you, Charley; I'm holding you close in my heart and talking to the universe about you daily.
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