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Old 12-12-2009, 05:21 PM
 
4 posts, read 5,526 times
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SO im 99% sure i'm pregnant I took 3 pregnancy tests about 3 weeks ago and they all came out positive. Lately I've been feeling really nauseous but i dont throw up. I feel like it may be out of nerves or stress or something. Im double majoring and next week i have finals. I need major advice! This would be my first pregnancy but i have mixed emotions. Some days i completely feel ok and at peace, and other days i can't see myself having a child. Im scared that if i decide to go through with it...i may resent the baby. But if i were to have an abortion i wouldn't have support from anyone! my family and boyfriend are completely against it. I know that even though i have a kid with someone it doesnt mean i have to stay with them forever, but the thing is that we're going to share a child in common and if i wanted to move away to another country (like ive always wanted to do) he wouldnt let me take the baby. I mean i love my boyfriend but i dont see myself with him in the future. I dont know what to do! i have a year left of school and ill be completely done, but now i have this to worry about. has anyone gone through this or can offer advice? Im a complete mess right now.

Last edited by 2goldens; 12-12-2009 at 05:27 PM.. Reason: Moved from Other Topics
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Old 12-12-2009, 05:26 PM
 
25,947 posts, read 26,013,484 times
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First - get your arse to the DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY regardless of your deciision on the other. Get properly diagnosed 3 weeks is insanely toooooooooooo long to be unsure and totally irresponsible if you are pregnant.

As for the other, are you close with your mom or an aunt you can talk these things through with because something tells me you have way more considerations and issues you need to talk through with someone close who truly cares about you and your well being.
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Old 12-13-2009, 04:35 AM
 
8,857 posts, read 5,390,277 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabbit210 View Post
SO im 99% sure i'm pregnant I took 3 pregnancy tests about 3 weeks ago and they all came out positive. Lately I've been feeling really nauseous but i dont throw up. I feel like it may be out of nerves or stress or something. Im double majoring and next week i have finals. I need major advice! This would be my first pregnancy but i have mixed emotions. Some days i completely feel ok and at peace, and other days i can't see myself having a child. Im scared that if i decide to go through with it...i may resent the baby. But if i were to have an abortion i wouldn't have support from anyone! my family and boyfriend are completely against it. I know that even though i have a kid with someone it doesnt mean i have to stay with them forever, but the thing is that we're going to share a child in common and if i wanted to move away to another country (like ive always wanted to do) he wouldnt let me take the baby. I mean i love my boyfriend but i dont see myself with him in the future. I dont know what to do! i have a year left of school and ill be completely done, but now i have this to worry about. has anyone gone through this or can offer advice? Im a complete mess right now.
In addition to the other "caring & understanding" advice ... I would say this to you. For thousands of years, young women have faced the dilemma you now confront, most of them didn't have a choice. Many of them far younger than you. If you have the proper support from family and the father .. then you are way ahead as compared to many.

One thing that's surely difficult to accept is that life doesn't end with the birth of a child ... absolutely, it's a scary thing ...but it is fear of the unknown only. Difficult? Yes. Will it change your immediate future? absolutely! Will it be a major, significant matter 20 years from now? That depends on the decision you make in the days to come.

Have you ever had a pet? A cat or dog? Most of us have. And we quickly become attached ... so much so that if ever they got sick, we'd sacrifice almost anything to rescue them from that illness, and keep them alive and healthy? Well multiply that feeling of love by 100, and that's how you'll feel about that child.

And some of the most accomplished, and successful women of all time were also mothers. And there is no greater title on earth than "mom". After all, where would any of us be without Mom?

Don't fear the unknown, and don't let it rule you. Be strong, and live life, and contemplate the years of joy you might share with a child that quickly becomes your greatest treasure in life.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Greenwood Village, Colorado
2,185 posts, read 3,924,332 times
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I know how you feel. When I found out with my first one I went in for my yearly exam. I was on the table and a nurse pops in and says it's postive, and I was thinking, what is she talking about? So I looked at my GYN and I said I have cancer??? She goes nooo you are pregnant!

Well I walked out of the office with my boyfriend waiting for me, I had a bag of pre natal vitamins. He asked how my appt went and I said fine and I am pregnant. He walked into a few walls on the way back to the car.

I was already living with my boyfriend, I moved over from the UK to be with him, So we were planning on getting married anyway.

I could have had an abortion, but I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. I now have 2 little girls both under 3 and if I could go back in time, I would make the same decision, I couldn't live without my 2 babies.

One piece of advise my mum always told my brothers and I. Don't sleep with people you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life with. For the exact reasons that you are going through now. You're stuck with him, married or not, he will always be a part of your life.
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Old 12-14-2009, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Missouri
6,044 posts, read 21,217,711 times
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Only you know the best choice for you.
You could keep the baby, give the baby up for adoption (the father, or either of your families, might even want to adopt the child), or have an abortion.
Does your school have a student counseling center? You may be able to talk to someone there who can fully listen to your concerns, help you carefully weigh your options, and once you make a decision, help you plan how to carry it out.
Best of luck.
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Old 12-16-2009, 02:11 AM
 
4 posts, read 5,526 times
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i went to the doctor today and he confirmed i am 8 weeks pregnant :[ more and more i feel disgust towards the father and i don't know why. i don't want to end up resenting him or the baby but i really am not happy about being pregnant. i dont know how to feel better :/

thank you for all of your advice
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Old 12-16-2009, 11:51 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,211 posts, read 15,087,504 times
Reputation: 7983
Well, at least you know for sure. If you decide on an abortion (a personal choice only you can make), please have it done in the next three or four weeks. It's much safer during the first trimester; the more time that goes by, the more complications you face.

Please don't let anyone bully you into a situation you don't want. This decision is not one that's made lightly; do you have any unbiased friends who can help you sort things out?

If you decide to go forward with the pregnancy and keep the baby, I do hope that you have a good support system in place so you can finish school. Never underestimate the value of an education!
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Old 12-17-2009, 12:28 AM
 
519 posts, read 895,837 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
Please don't let anyone bully you into a situation you don't want. This decision is not one that's made lightly; do you have any unbiased friends who can help you sort things out?
I'm with Sandy.

Raising a child is extremely difficult and if you already have doubts about the baby and the father then you're going to have to face some hard facts.

I'm a stepmother and I see first hand how difficult it is to not only raise a child but how difficult it is to parent (for both parents) after a relationship breakdown.

Don't let anyone bully you into these life changing decisions - you have to live with all the consequences - so they are your decisions to make.

No matter what, you'll be ok - people can adjust to any circumstances.

Just be true to yourself.
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Old 12-17-2009, 12:36 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,398 posts, read 6,989,485 times
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I agree with the above posters. Either way, you've got a hard row to hoe, dear. Keep us posted as to what happens.
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Old 12-17-2009, 05:54 PM
 
16,487 posts, read 20,455,674 times
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Go first to the doctor and make sure you are indeed pregnant and everything is ok. There is another choice besides continuing the pregnancy or abortion, it is called adoption. We adopted our youngest daughter at birth and it has been an amazing experience. We keep in touch with the birthmother and I send her photos and updates.
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