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Old 12-16-2009, 03:22 PM
 
4,379 posts, read 4,277,969 times
Reputation: 1612

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Everyday I feel angry or sad. And I hate it, it's eating away at me. Everyday I always have negative thoughts, and I hate it.

I guess I think this way for the following reasons:

- At work six months ago or so, I was smoking, and was performing very well. I got commendation from an executive assistant to a VP, drew up complex plans for a project, and devised credential accesses. Now, since July, i've been doing poorly and I'm probably facing the sack. I can understand if I never did well, but how can I get my good performance back?

- I despise my family and everyone associated with them. My mom and dad actively used to conspire with people in my town to harass me, when normal parents don't do that. They always tell me things which are patently false, so why would they want to deliberately misguide their son? Am I such a nothing? What did I do to warrant this?

I hate being negative and want to be positive, but I want to disown all of my family. My parents hate me and can never give a rational reason for doing what they did. I know parents are not perfect, no human being is, but what they did was not the norm. It was abuse and abuse is never justified. If my parents always despised me, then I want them to come out and say it and we can go our separate ways. Life is too short to spend with the Devil.

How can I be more positive, and remove toxic people from my life? I read the other day that a healthy mind is a healthy body, and i do feel energised when I exercise. But I want nothing to do with any of my family ever again. Ever.

 
Old 12-16-2009, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
2,903 posts, read 11,172,670 times
Reputation: 1804
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
Everyday I feel angry or sad. And I hate it, it's eating away at me. Everyday I always have negative thoughts, and I hate it.

I guess I think this way for the following reasons:

- At work six months ago or so, I was smoking, and was performing very well. I got commendation from an executive assistant to a VP, drew up complex plans for a project, and devised credential accesses. Now, since July, i've been doing poorly and I'm probably facing the sack. I can understand if I never did well, but how can I get my good performance back?

- I despise my family and everyone associated with them. My mom and dad actively used to conspire with people in my town to harass me, when normal parents don't do that. They always tell me things which are patently false, so why would they want to deliberately misguide their son? Am I such a nothing? What did I do to warrant this?

I hate being negative and want to be positive, but I want to disown all of my family. My parents hate me and can never give a rational reason for doing what they did. I know parents are not perfect, no human being is, but what they did was not the norm. It was abuse and abuse is never justified. If my parents always despised me, then I want them to come out and say it and we can go our separate ways. Life is too short to spend with the Devil.

How can I be more positive, and remove toxic people from my life? I read the other day that a healthy mind is a healthy body, and i do feel energised when I exercise. But I want nothing to do with any of my family ever again. Ever.
First of all, stop hating on yourself for feeling angry and sad.
The best and most loving thing to do in the face of difficult feelings is too accept them.
That acceptance will actually allow the feelings to move through you.
If you're hating on yourself when you're feeling sad, you're adding to the pain.
If you've experienced abuse in your early life, don't continue the pattern by being self abusive.
Be kind to yourself.

You're free to leave anyone in your life who is toxic for you ... even your parents ... sometimes especially your parents.
However, if you choose to no longer have contact with them, don't assume that your issues will disappear.
You will be free of their provocations but unless you find how to clear yourself, the issues will remain and you'll most likely attract people into your life that will be similarly problematic.
When you get free of your own toxicity (your anger and resentment) you won't have toxic relationships.
So stop pointing the finger at other people.
Although your family members were abusive and did cause you harm, at some point you need to heal those wounds.
And it is indeed difficult to do that kind of healing if you are in constant contact with the abusive people ... especially if they were the people who were abusive in your early life.

And you can simply take a break.
If you live in the same community as your family, you need to get your courage up and inform them that you need space from them.
You have the right to assert your own will on behalf of your own life and, despite any objections they may have, it's your choice and so own it.
And then find your way to clear the old anger and resentment.
When you're free of that old pain, then you can decide whether or not you want them in your life but you'll be deciding from a place of wellness and balance and not from a reactionary, angry place.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 05:10 PM
 
303 posts, read 475,605 times
Reputation: 162
To be sure there are toxic people out there and the way to deal with them is to eliminate them from your life. I'd suggest counseling at this point.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 05:25 PM
 
4,379 posts, read 4,277,969 times
Reputation: 1612
Quote:
Originally Posted by puglywump View Post
To be sure there are toxic people out there and the way to deal with them is to eliminate them from your life. I'd suggest counseling at this point.
I'll look into it. Thanks.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 06:56 PM
 
2,383 posts, read 6,083,465 times
Reputation: 2029
It sounds like depression,check out with doctor.
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