Depression: Support, Advice, Help, Treatment Options (how to, ears, headache, feeling)

[citybythebay]

Originally Posted by skytrekker

This site can be addictive- however I have learned to go with the flow- it seems there are alot of angry people here- and I feel Citydata is a dichotomy of what is troubling American society today; Polarization of the right and the left; economic stress and a widening gap between the haves and have nots; the specter of man made disaster with global warming; a health care system that is about ready to implode; and apathetic politicians from both political parties- the threat of terrorism- and add to that $3 a gallon gasoline; and a growing geographic chasm between certain areas of the country- and BINGO- you have much in the way of apathy, anger, and social anomie.

Now I'm depressed...*sigh*....no, seriously, skytrekker everything you have stated is SO true. And is such a good observation of the typical angry person on Citydata. I was beginning to wonder myself what is going on. What is the big change?... you summed it up quite nicely.

That and the heat and humidity in Cleveland today is a killer and not adding to the mix...

[skytrekker]

Originally Posted by citybythebay

Now I'm depressed...*sigh*....no, seriously, skytrekker everything you have stated is SO true. And is such a good observation of the typical angry person on Citydata. I was beginning to wonder myself what is going on. What is the big change?... you summed it up quite nicely.

That and the heat and humidity in Cleveland today is a killer and not adding to the mix...

Yes city

I feel an increasing paranoia in American society- its on many of the things I alluded to earlier; to all of which I said before; ADD economic insecurity; many people have vast amounts of debt- live way over their heads; and have nothing saved for retirement. Its a mess- and when the shi* hits the fan-look out!

[ScranBarre]

Thanks everyone for the support! I had a good long cry last night as a "vent session," and I managed to clear my mind before heading off to bed. When I woke up at 5 this morning for work, I could hardly even remember feeling so blue. My problem is that I'm an emotional roller-coaster ride at times. My "ups" are so astounding that I tend to automatically lift the spirits of others around me at the same time. However, my "downs" are so severe that my despondence frustrates even the closest of my friends.

I needed a good, long vent session last night. I'm in a much better mood today. Work went well; I bumped into two long-lost friends who I have now invited over to go swimming on this sultry day (they'll be over in about a half-hour, so I'll have to keep my reply somewhat brief). My dad is enjoying his new hammock that I purchased for him for Father's Day, and my grandmother's health is improving after a close-call last month with the Grim Reaper.

As a "thank you" for helping to boost my spirits even more, everyone who posted a reply here will be getting a positive reputation boost of several points from me after my company departs for the evening. Some of you will also have PM's headed your way---either as a reply to ones that were already sent or just fresh ones that I feel inclined to send out. My car is getting inspected/worked on tomorrow, so I'll have a good chunk of the morning before work free as well.

I'm also looking forward to my next photo tour this Wednesday, even though I still haven't decided just where I'm going to head yet.

This calls for a crazy banana dance party!

[WhatSayYou]

Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre

Does anyone have any good strategies on how to cope with depression? A couple of years ago I went through a very traumatic time in my family life, and I still haven't recovered in the least bit. I often cry myself to sleep, mope around, and I've distanced myself so much from my friends that I now have very few of them.

I suppose I could go see a therapist again, but I think I'd feel even more depressed for having the "crazy" stigma hanging over my head. Come to think of it, a lot of people I know are depressed; are we just becoming a society of sadness? What makes you all rise each morning ambitious and ready to take in a fresh new day? My faith in God used to do that for me as well, but I'm no longer spiritual after hearing time after time about how "God hates gays" and yada, yada, yada. I just think that if God hates me, then why should I even bother with worship? ?

Dear Scranton Wilkes Barre,

First of all, GOD IS PERSONAL. Humans do NOT speak for God unless God either had a firsthand conversation with them, or sent a telegram. Ask the most dedicated Baptists, Catholics, Protestants, Judasm, Buddahs... and you'll get as many different beliefs! Could it be God is subjective?

If somebody were to tell me that my Gay friends weren't going to Heaven, I'd tell them where they can go! Who are they to judge, not knowing my friends and all the good they do? They tried teaching us that Jewish folks don't go to Heaven because of this and that. OK, so the Baptized church-going catholic who cheats on his wife and is nasty to others does but Sandy Koufax is out?? Hey, as long as they go to confession every single week and repent... (I wAS Brought up Catholic.) And JUST who's telling you God doesn't approve of you:? The ones who follow the Pope & the priests who wouldn't crack down on the pedophiles until the lawyers popped up on the news???

Secondly, please consider a change of scenery, get out of your area if just for a year or so. My area's depressing too. Cry almost every day, but not ONE tear when living elsewhere. NOT ONE! remember, misery loves company. And your surroundings and the attitudes make all the difference on earth!!!!

I did it on a credit card and paid it off working when I got there. Headed where I wanted to and just did it, got on a train. It took care of the depression real quick just interacting with different more positive people. Please consider, you're single and can do whatever you wish. No offense but I'd be suicidal in Scranton too -- heck I am here (not far from you!!) and this area's much more built up than SWB.

Head for a city, with more to do and higher morale. I have never been anywhere there weren't plenty of gay men. You will not be a minority in a more vibrant, sophisticated surrounding!! Yes gay men DO personify "sophisticated" more times than not. Good stereotype if you ask me.
Organized religions are always pitting against somebody or another. Get out of the glass houses already and actually practice what you preach. More walk, less talk,. ONLY God shall judge the GOOD HEARTS AND ACTIONS of people towards one another!!
Sorry to dump on your town but no wonder. I have family in the Poconos GAG!!!! God Bless.

[NYRangers 2008]

I feel depressed from time to time too. My girlfriend recently told me just wanted to be friends and see other people after almost 3 years. Other things like financial insecurities that we all have. So I know what you're going through in a way, but everybody's situation is different.So what I say to you ScrantonWilkesBarre is just keep your head up and try to find the resolve to make it through each day.

[Sam I Am]

SWB -

For what it's worth, which probably isn't even 2 cents - I find you totally charming and amusing! And don't think of couch time as "crazy" time - think of it as the one or two hours a week where it is ALL ABOUT YOU. That's what I do from time to time - nothing like a little narcissism to snap you back...and don't dwell on the bad when you're in therapy - it's there to make you feel better, so think about how great you are and then it can be an ego trip in itself!

I'm going to give you something - it's religious and I'm really not, but this sort of struck a chord with me. There is a black minister, I think he's in Texas - T. D. Jakes - and if you ever heard him, you would know what inspiration is....so here it is - if it helps, great - if not, just stay away from the religious forum - there sure are a lot of people stuck in their views there. I hope they're not wrong.....But please don't sign off - send your photo tours out to some of us who enjoy them and send us PMs or whatever...you don't have to really know someone personally to care - but I'm thinking you're pretty special anyway...and BBs are a famous place for people to be someone you'd never recognize in real life - I'm constantly amazed at the things that people will put out there under the cover of a disguise.

This is simplistic, but maybe it will help in some small way? When you think about it, if we just turn loose of the things we torture ourselves about mentally...well, all of our lives would be simpler if we could learn to do that.

Let It Go

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this....When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents .

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .......

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.

GOD is doing a new thing for 2007 !!!

LET IT GO!!!

[june 7th]

Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre

Thanks everyone for the support! I had a good long cry last night as a "vent session," and I managed to clear my mind before heading off to bed. When I woke up at 5 this morning for work, I could hardly even remember feeling so blue. My problem is that I'm an emotional roller-coaster ride at times. My "ups" are so astounding that I tend to automatically lift the spirits of others around me at the same time. However, my "downs" are so severe that my despondence frustrates even the closest of my friends.

I needed a good, long vent session last night. I'm in a much better mood today. Work went well; I bumped into two long-lost friends who I have now invited over to go swimming on this sultry day (they'll be over in about a half-hour, so I'll have to keep my reply somewhat brief). My dad is enjoying his new hammock that I purchased for him for Father's Day, and my grandmother's health is improving after a close-call last month with the Grim Reaper.

As a "thank you" for helping to boost my spirits even more, everyone who posted a reply here will be getting a positive reputation boost of several points from me after my company departs for the evening. Some of you will also have PM's headed your way---either as a reply to ones that were already sent or just fresh ones that I feel inclined to send out. My car is getting inspected/worked on tomorrow, so I'll have a good chunk of the morning before work free as well.

I'm also looking forward to my next photo tour this Wednesday, even though I still haven't decided just where I'm going to head yet.

This calls for a crazy banana dance party!

AM VERY, VERY, VERY GLAD!!!! Keep dancing, take care, and especially...

Take gentle care!
June

[LeavingMO]

When I was going through depressoin my Dr. gave me "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Dr David Burns, that book really helped me to get better, you might wanna give it a shot. Hope you get better!

[katzenfreund]

Please don't go, I always love your photo tours and you seem like a funny, thoughtful and great guy. Don't let those that want to argue ruin your day. I've seen some posters that seem to come here ONLY to argue with someone. Don't let them pull you into their misery. So many people here would miss you, if you left! If there is a god, he is a loving being, not a judgemental hateful being. If someone were to judge us, he/she would surely not care who we had sex with, but instead how we treated others, how we treated the earth and all those on it.
I sometimes get very depressed about various issues and find that some type of exercise and just being with people that are like minded helps a lot! Also make sure you get plenty of rest and eat healthy. If that doesn't help, seek for professional help. A big hug to you and I hope you will feel better.

[cyntmac]

Religion and spirituality are two different things and it takes some people a lifetime to figure that out. I think it has a lot to do with the value system we inherit which is pretty crappy for the most part(in this country at least). If you feel any sort of spiritual connection with people, the universe, etc.- do NOT let religion interfere with this. If you allow that to happen you will be on a downward spiral.

It might also be a good idea to start questioning the value system you were raised with. There might be some really good things that you will hang on to but many more things you may have to reject. Things you never really questioned in the past at all but now need to in order to fill the big void that is plaguing you. That void can be like a bottomless pit and it is important to understand and try to deal with it while you are still young. It is not just about depression. It's really not. The way most of us are living is not healthy and it has nothing to do with whether you live in a city or a suburb. If you are living at home it might be compounding your misery and you should think about changing that but I'm sure you have heard that before.

Life usually has to become uncomfortable in order for people to start questioning what they value most. Uncomfortable does not always mean miserable.(But sometimes that can't be avoided). Living completely independently for the first time will force certain issues to the surface. Knowing that you have no safety net and experiencing survival mode in practical terms will snap you out of a funk quicker than anything else I know of. That does not mean you will suddenly find happiness or sanity but it will force you to reevaluate many things and that is where most of the work needs to be done anyway(for most everyone).

It is also a good idea to spend time around people who are unlike you. Not personality wise but culture/background wise (and no I don't mean in some kind of multi-cultural experiment). This tends to change one's perspective and perspective is something that is lacking in a depressed individual. The world may seem too big and too suffocating at the same time. A change in perspective is necessary to begin to question what is important to you. There is no shortcut here. More focus on depression itself will not help. The focus needs to be on living in the real world and connecting with it. You can not let family guilt trip you about living for yourself at this stage of life.

If you are used to having much control in your environment- you will need to let some of that go as well. It might be scary at first but it is necessary and can not be avoided. Not if you want to grow and begin to fill that void you live with every day of your life. Risks have to be taken and the time to do this is now- when you are still relatively young. Try to avoid falling into the trap of looking for answers in other people or material acquisitions. All of that is fleeting and not at the heart of the matter. What feels uncomfortable is what you may need to gravitate to for a while. As hard as this seems now- it will pay off in the end and again there is really no shortcut. You have to do the work and really live even when the options available to you are not the greatest.

Try not to feel so badly about the posts on here. They should not be taken so personally. We don't know who we are speaking with and assume that some of this is a put on. Question yourself and you may come to the conclusion that depression is not your biggest problem. It is just the manifestation of so many other issues that have yet to be dealt with. Hopefully you will deal with those things. Some people grow old and never do. They live their entire life in the dark. Not so much depressed as clueless. If they ever bother to look for answers they look in all the wrong places. Step out of yourself and make yourself uncomfortable. You still have a chance to see the world in a different light and fill up that void.