Depression: Support, Advice, Help, Treatment Options

[SouthernBelleInUtah]

MA, I'm sorry for what you are going through. I live in UT and my family live in New Orleans and North Carolina. I want so badly to be near them! But there is no way I could sell my house in this economy so I'm stuck here for at least another year.

Some things that help are: keep a regular schedule for sleep and get at least 8 hrs; eat on a regular schedule to keep all the brain chemicals stable; don't let the weekend change your schedule; get daily exercise after work or before work, try for at least 1 hr per day; be friendly to your former friend, don't let your emotions show; smile as it is true that the facial muscles are closely connected to the brain-when you feel something, it shows on your face and when you show a smile eventually it affects your brain in a good way; join a group of people who like what you like, try www.meetup.com and put in your zip code.

Good luck with making positive changes.

[MAtheBanker]

Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah

MA, I'm sorry for what you are going through. I live in UT and my family live in New Orleans and North Carolina. I want so badly to be near them! But there is no way I could sell my house in this economy so I'm stuck here for at least another year.

Some things that help are: keep a regular schedule for sleep and get at least 8 hrs; eat on a regular schedule to keep all the brain chemicals stable; don't let the weekend change your schedule; get daily exercise after work or before work, try for at least 1 hr per day; be friendly to your former friend, don't let your emotions show; smile as it is true that the facial muscles are closely connected to the brain-when you feel something, it shows on your face and when you show a smile eventually it affects your brain in a good way; join a group of people who like what you like, try www.meetup.com and put in your zip code.

Good luck with making positive changes.

My family is in Provo/Payson...will you go hug them and say hi to them for me?

I'm professional with my friend. We work in different offices, so the only contact we have is phone and email. Not seeing him is definitely making things easier. If I had to see him in person every day, it would be 100 times harder than it already is.

I have a routine I stick with...It's what I've always done. I work the same shift every day, I go home on my lunch to play with my dog, I come home for the day and rest for a few minutes, make dinner, take my dog for a walk, and watch TV until I fall asleep. I go to bed around 10:30 and wake up at 7. I know I'm medicating with food, but that's another thread for another time. Sticking with my routine is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment.

[CosmicWizard]

MAtheBanker wrote:

Alright, try this one: I live alone, the closest family I have is 650 miles away, I lost my best friend a few weeks ago--the only person who has ever accepted me and loved me for who I am, and the worst part is we work together and have for 5 years. Every time I see him I'm reminded of what happened, and the anger, hurt, and pain come back ten fold when we have work-related contact. I want a new job, I want to move back to my family who has been begging and pleading for me to move back for years now. I have two neices and two nephews who cry every time I leave them to go back "home". Finding a new job and moving an entire state away are easier said than done in this economy. I can't stay sane any longer in this hell I'm living in.

This is a good start! Mostly you mentioned the situations that you are associating with your depression, rather than your thoughts about them. In regard to lossing your best friend, you did share some of your thoughts, so I will provide samples of how to change them from depressing to hopeful.

I lost my best friend a few weeks ago--

CHANGE....the only person who has ever accepted me and loved me for who I am....TO: this is ONE person who has accepted me and loved me for who I am. There is likely to be many more.

CHANGE....and the worst part is we work together and have for 5 years. TO: there were many good times we had working together for 5 years, but that's over now and I'm ready for a new phase of my life to unfold.

CHANGE....Every time I see him I'm reminded of what happened, and the anger, hurt, and pain come back ten fold when we have work-related contact...TO: EVEN THOUGH I FEEL ANGRY AND HURT WHEN I SEE HIM, I ALSO REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES, AND I CHOOSE TO FOCUS ON THE GOOD TIMES.

Regarding the other situations you mentioned:

I live alone....so what do are your thoughts about that?

the closest family I have is 650 miles away....so what do are your thoughts about that?

I want to move back to my family who has been begging and pleading for me to move back for years now.....so what do are your thoughts about that?

I have two neices and two nephews who cry every time I leave them to go back "home".....so what do are your thoughts about that?

CHANGE...Finding a new job and moving an entire state away are easier said than done in this economy....TO: Finding a new job and moving an entire state away are easier said than done in this economy AND I"M UP TO THE CHALLENGE.

CHANGE...I can't stay sane any longer in this hell I'm living in...TO: EVEN THOUGH A PART OF ME BELIEVES THAT I can't stay sane any longer in this hell I'm living in, I AM IN FACT QUITE SANE!

Keep in mind that none of these suggested changes are etched in stone. You can modify the wording to suit your tastes. They are intended to help you shift your thinking from depression to hope because hope just might be what your brain needs to change its chemistry in a way that makes you feel better about yourself and life in general. In my mind anyway, generating hope makes more sense than putting yourself into a stupor with an anti-depressant drug.

[Belle77]

I read about this in the first part of this thread:

Amazon.com: Nature Made SAM-e Complete, 400mg Tablets, 36 Tablets: Health & Personal Care

It seems to have some great reviews. Has anyone here taken it?

I know what makes me feel good, what I have to do to keep my depression from returning, but my energy level is so low. I need a boost to get me out of this hole. I'm having a hard time talking myself into doing the things I need to do.

[SouthernBelleInUtah]

I was recently treated for hyperthyroidism and my hopelessness vanished almost immediately. For those who haven't had their thyroid checked, I suggest it. It takes more than a TSH test, you need the whole panel of thyroid tests and a thyroid specialist; I was seeing an endocrinologist who was a diabetes specialist and he didn't pick up on it. I would never have known that was the cause of the hopelessness if it hadn't been discovered and treated.

[Dave Sekar]

Good Evening Scran Barre and everyone else. I kind of stumbled onto this site and have read alot of posts and find it a very informative helpful site. I'm new here and not really sure what the protocol is so hope I don't step out of bonds here. Scran I read your post with much sadness and hope maybe I can help you and someone else on here as well as myself some. Just to let you know a little about me and hope it doesn't sound like a self pitty party I'll try and help out some here. Please over look my spelling because I am the worst speller in the world. I know there is a spell checker on here but I would like this to be in my own form.
I'm a 54 year old male. Had a really rough childhood with a Mother that Loved her kids more than life itself. But had a Father that beat her relentlessly in front of us kids on a regular basasis. When he was home we weren't allowed to play,laugh,or cry or we would be wipped by him with a 4" wide minning belt till we wet our pants. There were 6 kids me being next to the last born. None of us were allowed to play sports,or any normal things kids now days can do. We had to come home to chores left by Dad for Mom to give us everyday as he worked in the coal mines of WVa. His thought was if his kids were working at home they weren't out getting into trouble. A good thing as far as teaching us to work but bad as far as a social life as a kid. I've had depression I guess most of my life and turned to drinking when I was 13. I hid my depression through achohol most of my life until my oldest sister talked me into moving to Cleveland Ohio from NC when I was 35. She helped get me in a treatment center and I have been Achohol and Drug free for 19 years now. Thanks God and My Sister for that. I've been married 3 times and am now Married to the most fantastic woman on earth. She is my Best Friend and the Love of my life. We have a Beautiful Home with 7 acers of land,stocked pond,pool and make enough to pay our bills on time and eat very well. Life for me couldn't be better. We have hit the lottary of life with each other. Sounds like paradise huh? Well this is how depression and early child hood works. I'm never happy,can't laugh,can't cry,very seldom get mad,and have chased about all our friends off from not returning phone calls or going out with them when they call. I have been on just about every antidepressant known to man. None really cured my depression. Just put me into a mind set that let me exist. Because we were not allowed to have emotions when we were kids I have none now. Here are some things I've delt with over the past years.
1. My Mom that I Loved dearly and turned to when I had a problem died 14 years ago. Alone and lost my turn to person was gone forever.
2. I was married to a woman with 3 kids for 10 years that we had nothing in common. After the last one graduated we divorced.
3.I married my Beautiful wife that I'm with now 2 years after that divorce and started singing together in nursing homes and making the elderly happy. That has ended now also.
4. I had a job I Loved dearly and enjoyed getting up going to work. 2 years ago I suffered from a back injury at work and because of politics and Budget cuts at the work place was forced into Disability retirement. Sound s like another great thing to retire at 52. NOT. I hate it. I was taught to work and if you didn't work you were lazy and not worth anything.
5. While dealing with all my forced retirement my sister that took my Mother's place when she passed called me 2 years ago and told me she had cancer. 3 Weeks later she was gone. Alone again and lost my replacement turn to person.
6. Although my Dad was mean to us we were raised that because he was your Dad you Loved him. I hated him,but Loved him in another since. Myself and 2 other sisters took turns driving down to WVa from Ohio and Indy,a 5 to 7 Hr drive for each of us to stay 8,9 10,12 days at a time leaving our families at home to take care of him living in the home that we built not bought but built with our own hands for a year and a half. Well this past July he passed away after we had just had his 90th B-Day Party for him. The guilt I have from hating him all these years is unbelievable.
7. A few years ago my new wife and I had always heard of swinging and desided to try it. We only done it with a few couples and that's where I was introduced to my first Bi experance. Well after beating myself up from what I had done because society has taught me all my life Bi Sex was wrong and something bad would happen to you if you done it,I found out I enjoyed it and had fun doing it. But I could seperate it from making Love to my wife. It was only sex. Well the wife desided swinging wasn't her thing and hated every moment of it and wanted to stop or our marriage was over. So we stopped. But I still have the Bi Desires but can't cheat on my wife and lose her. So I deal with that.
8. Ontop of everything else I have started to develope ED. So our sex life is suffering. I went to the Doctor and he said none of the Meds. I take should have that effect so wants me to see a phyc. to see if it's mental.
Well that is a break down of my life not to mention I think of killing myself on a regular basis.
I guess the point of all this is we all deal with different things that give us set backs on our depression and we have to find even the smallest things to help us through. Sometimes mine is chatting,sometimes writing in my log I keep. The best one now for me now,and you all should get a kick out of this. You know what makes me get up out of bed everymorning? My wife still works and takes 2 bottles of water and a pop with her everyday. We have a fridge in the garage we keep drinks in. My Goal that has kept me from killing myself so far is I have to get up,come down stairs and get that pop and water out and sit it ontop of the fridge for her so she can have it for the day. Not a big thing,but keeps me going.
So in closing Scran after I have rambled on for ever. Think of it this way. You are a hell of a man to say hey I'm gay and that's just the way it is. God does not hate you. As long as you are a good person and do right by others he will except you for who you are. The one person on here that said "There's always room at my Fathers Table" has helped make my day. If you think deep into what that saying is talking about I think you will find the true meaning of how God Loves us all. Trust me,I think he still Loves me and if he can do that after all I have done in my drinking days,he can Love us all.
Take care Pal,and thanks to everyone for letting me blab.
Love and God Bless to each and everyone of you.