Depression: Support, Advice, Help, Treatment Options (surgery, dental, doctor, insurance)

[ScranBarre]

Does anyone have any good strategies on how to cope with depression? A couple of years ago I went through a very traumatic time in my family life, and I still haven't recovered in the least bit. I often cry myself to sleep, mope around, and I've distanced myself so much from my friends that I now have very few of them.

I come onto City-Data so much because, at least for a brief while, it was therapeutic to interact with so many new online friends. However, that euphoria is beginning to wear off now that I spend more time on here defending myself and getting into petty arguments with people than I do trying to make connections with others. I think I hit my "peak" on here when I found out that a family I had helped on here was happily-enjoying their new home in Scranton; it made me actually feel like I had accomplished something in my life for a change instead of just screwing everything up. Since then, even my well-intentioned photo tours are now garnering angst and flaring tempers from others, none of which was my intention. I just seem to screw up everything on here anymore, so now, without the "crutch" of City-Data to help prop up my mood, I just don't feel motivated to live anymore.

HELP!!! I just simply don't know what to do. What made me happiest in life was volunteering with charities in my community, but I no longer have much time to do that as a full-time student and full-time employee. My photo tours also helped me to "take the edge off," but I don't know if I'll be doing any more now that I see that they cause more arguments than anything else. I used to have "vent" sessions where I would sit in the dark in my home-office, play Enya, turn off the lights, and just cry for a while. Now, not even that is helping me.

I suppose I could go see a therapist again, but I think I'd feel even more depressed for having the "crazy" stigma hanging over my head. Come to think of it, a lot of people I know are depressed; are we just becoming a society of sadness? What makes you all rise each morning ambitious and ready to take in a fresh new day? My faith in God used to do that for me as well, but I'm no longer spiritual after hearing time after time about how "God hates gays" and yada, yada, yada. I just think that if God hates me, then why should I even bother with worship?

I've just hit a stumbling block here, and I might just "sign-off" for a long time from this site, as it's been causing me more harm than good lately. I should have signed off when I posted my "farewell" thread many moons ago, but I couldn't do it. Perhaps now is the time?

[SandyCo]

No, you shouldn't leave. I'd be very sad and go into a depression if you leave! That was a very feeble attempt at humor, sorry! On a more serious note, I'm sorry that you're so depressed. Try as best you can to just let the ill humor roll off your back, and don't take everything so much to heart. (Ask any moderator here! )

We'd miss you if you left City-Data, of course, and if you're already depressed, I'm not sure that leaving would really help you. I think you'd possibly end up more depressed and isolated. At least here you're mostly among friends!

Honestly, I've been depressed most of my life, and I've just learned to live with it. It's not bad enough for me to be on medication, and I don't like the idea of going that route. Anyway, I'm sending you a cyber-hug.

Also, you can try a simple exercise, which is that you need to find one or two things in any given day that perk you up. A sunset, a couple holding hands, someone thanking you at work, anything at all that you can see as something positive, a little gift. Of course, some days are easier than others to do this, but it has worked for me in the past.

[citybythebay]

Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre

Does anyone have any good strategies on how to cope with depression? A couple of years ago I went through a very traumatic time in my family life, and I still haven't recovered in the least bit. I often cry myself to sleep, mope around, and I've distanced myself so much from my friends that I now have very few of them.

I come onto City-Data so much because, at least for a brief while, it was therapeutic to interact with so many new online friends. However, that euphoria is beginning to wear off now that I spend more time on here defending myself and getting into petty arguments with people than I do trying to make connections with others. I think I hit my "peak" on here when I found out that a family I had helped on here was happily-enjoying their new home in Scranton; it made me actually feel like I had accomplished something in my life for a change instead of just screwing everything up. Since then, even my well-intentioned photo tours are now garnering angst and flaring tempers from others, none of which was my intention. I just seem to screw up everything on here anymore, so now, without the "crutch" of City-Data to help prop up my mood, I just don't feel motivated to live anymore.

HELP!!! I just simply don't know what to do. What made me happiest in life was volunteering with charities in my community, but I no longer have much time to do that as a full-time student and full-time employee. My photo tours also helped me to "take the edge off," but I don't know if I'll be doing any more now that I see that they cause more arguments than anything else. I used to have "vent" sessions where I would sit in the dark in my home-office, play Enya, turn off the lights, and just cry for a while. Now, not even that is helping me.

I suppose I could go see a therapist again, but I think I'd feel even more depressed for having the "crazy" stigma hanging over my head. Come to think of it, a lot of people I know are depressed; are we just becoming a society of sadness? What makes you all rise each morning ambitious and ready to take in a fresh new day? My faith in God used to do that for me as well, but I'm no longer spiritual after hearing time after time about how "God hates gays" and yada, yada, yada. I just think that if God hates me, then why should I even bother with worship?

I've just hit a stumbling block here, and I might just "sign-off" for a long time from this site, as it's been causing me more harm than good lately. I should have signed off when I posted my "farewell" thread many moons ago, but I couldn't do it. Perhaps now is the time?

First, God does NOT hate you. Gay, straight, purple, green, polka dot, white, black....whatever...and if anyone wants to argue that with me...FYI don't waste my time!

As far as this website goes I have noticed some people lately have been just begging to start an argument. I'm not sure what it is here? But I notice more catty people here than other BB's.

You should not feel as though you need to defend yourself and that goes for other people too.
I'm not sure how your photos on here could flare tempers??? Always remember that you are not in control of how others think. If they have an issue with you or your photos they have some internal issues brewing of their own.
Just steer clear of people like that. Online and in everyday life.
Everyone has an opinion...some suck and some are right on the money.
I noticed another thread on here where someone is personally attacking another person almost to the level of stalking, IMO.
There is NO call for things like that.

But getting back to how you feel...I know when I went through a rough time several years ago, playing depressing music and turning myself into a hermit was not good. It took a little while but I came back around. It's not an easy road by any means.

Communicating is very important...talk about how you feel to others.
Don't think you will have a "crazy" stigma over your head like you mentioned and I'm sure there are some people in this world that feel that way and for those people I truly feel sorry for them.
Getting help, reaching out is not crazy....that is a very healthy thing to do.

I would definitely keep doing the things you enjoy doing.
((((Hugs to you))))

[Lisa_from_Debary]

Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre

Does anyone have any good strategies on how to cope with depression? A couple of years ago I went through a very traumatic time in my family life, and I still haven't recovered in the least bit. I often cry myself to sleep, mope around, and I've distanced myself so much from my friends that I now have very few of them.

I come onto City-Data so much because, at least for a brief while, it was therapeutic to interact with so many new online friends. However, that euphoria is beginning to wear off now that I spend more time on here defending myself and getting into petty arguments with people than I do trying to make connections with others. I think I hit my "peak" on here when I found out that a family I had helped on here was happily-enjoying their new home in Scranton; it made me actually feel like I had accomplished something in my life for a change instead of just screwing everything up. Since then, even my well-intentioned photo tours are now garnering angst and flaring tempers from others, none of which was my intention. I just seem to screw up everything on here anymore, so now, without the "crutch" of City-Data to help prop up my mood, I just don't feel motivated to live anymore.

HELP!!! I just simply don't know what to do. What made me happiest in life was volunteering with charities in my community, but I no longer have much time to do that as a full-time student and full-time employee. My photo tours also helped me to "take the edge off," but I don't know if I'll be doing any more now that I see that they cause more arguments than anything else. I used to have "vent" sessions where I would sit in the dark in my home-office, play Enya, turn off the lights, and just cry for a while. Now, not even that is helping me.

I suppose I could go see a therapist again, but I think I'd feel even more depressed for having the "crazy" stigma hanging over my head. Come to think of it, a lot of people I know are depressed; are we just becoming a society of sadness? What makes you all rise each morning ambitious and ready to take in a fresh new day? My faith in God used to do that for me as well, but I'm no longer spiritual after hearing time after time about how "God hates gays" and yada, yada, yada. I just think that if God hates me, then why should I even bother with worship?

I've just hit a stumbling block here, and I might just "sign-off" for a long time from this site, as it's been causing me more harm than good lately. I should have signed off when I posted my "farewell" thread many moons ago, but I couldn't do it. Perhaps now is the time?

I thought you were funny, especially with you being gay and saying you were going to hide outside my house in the bushes...lol.

I have had some troubling times as well, I deal with both depression and panic attacks, almost crippling anxiety, for me avoiding the triggers is not enough and not always posible, I take antidepressants, specifically Paxil. Talk to your doctor. If you don't have insurance some antidepressants are pretty cheap, in fact you can get a months worth of Paxil for $5 at Wal-Mart.

For me, I have never found that ignoring it helped it go away...I'm not saying that never works, but it never has for me...

As far as you being gay...I prefer gay men, hetero men are kind of annoying. If you ever want to chat, I am lethalfind on yahoo messenger.

I have to say that I find the fundamental christians depressing as well...all you can do is try to ignore them. If there is a god, the example that he lived in the bible is not one of hatred and exclusion but one of love and acceptance for everyone. A friend of mine told me "there is room for everyone at my Fathers table", thats what christianity is too her...

[I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA]

God does NOT hate you or anyone else. He may not approve of a person's lifestyle, but He does not hate anyone. He loves you and it makes Him sad to see you so sad. Have you gone to a Christian therapist? Maybe a different church? You matter to a lot a people on here and I am one of many that care about you, and matter to God. don't ever forget that! So please don't leave us, we need you here friend. You are smart, funny, intelligent, you have a lot to give us here. Read your Bible and let God speak to your heart. He does love you!!

[Baltic_Celt]

Originally Posted by citybythebay

First, God does NOT hate you. Gay, straight, purple, green, polka dot, white, black....whatever...and if anyone wants to argue that with me...FYI don't waste my time!

As far as this website goes I have noticed some people lately have been just begging to start an argument. I'm not sure what it is here? But I notice more catty people here than other BB's.

You should not feel as though you need to defend yourself and that goes for other people too.
I'm not sure how your photos on here could flare tempers??? Always remember that you are not in control of how others think. If they have an issue with you or your photos they have some internal issues brewing of their own.
Just steer clear of people like that. Online and in everyday life.
Everyone has an opinion...some suck and some are right on the money.
I noticed another thread on here where someone is personally attacking another person almost to the level of stalking, IMO.
There is NO call for things like that.

But getting back to how you feel...I know when I went through a rough time several years ago, playing depressing music and turning myself into a hermit was not good. It took a little while but I came back around. It's not an easy road by any means.

Communicating is very important...talk about how you feel to others.
Don't think you will have a "crazy" stigma over your head like you mentioned and I'm sure there are some people in this world that feel that way and for those people I truly feel sorry for them.
Getting help, reaching out is not crazy....that is a very healthy thing to do.

I would definitely keep doing the things you enjoy doing.
((((Hugs to you))))

Yes, absolutely, what City so lovingly said...
Hugs to you, Paul & to City for such a beautiful reply... VV

[Baltic_Celt]

Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre

Does anyone have any good strategies on how to cope with depression? A couple of years ago I went through a very traumatic time in my family life, and I still haven't recovered in the least bit. I often cry myself to sleep, mope around, and I've distanced myself so much from my friends that I now have very few of them.

I come onto City-Data so much because, at least for a brief while, it was therapeutic to interact with so many new online friends. However, that euphoria is beginning to wear off now that I spend more time on here defending myself and getting into petty arguments with people than I do trying to make connections with others. I think I hit my "peak" on here when I found out that a family I had helped on here was happily-enjoying their new home in Scranton; it made me actually feel like I had accomplished something in my life for a change instead of just screwing everything up. Since then, even my well-intentioned photo tours are now garnering angst and flaring tempers from others, none of which was my intention. I just seem to screw up everything on here anymore, so now, without the "crutch" of City-Data to help prop up my mood, I just don't feel motivated to live anymore.

HELP!!! I just simply don't know what to do. What made me happiest in life was volunteering with charities in my community, but I no longer have much time to do that as a full-time student and full-time employee. My photo tours also helped me to "take the edge off," but I don't know if I'll be doing any more now that I see that they cause more arguments than anything else. I used to have "vent" sessions where I would sit in the dark in my home-office, play Enya, turn off the lights, and just cry for a while. Now, not even that is helping me.

I suppose I could go see a therapist again, but I think I'd feel even more depressed for having the "crazy" stigma hanging over my head. Come to think of it, a lot of people I know are depressed; are we just becoming a society of sadness? What makes you all rise each morning ambitious and ready to take in a fresh new day? My faith in God used to do that for me as well, but I'm no longer spiritual after hearing time after time about how "God hates gays" and yada, yada, yada. I just think that if God hates me, then why should I even bother with worship?

I've just hit a stumbling block here, and I might just "sign-off" for a long time from this site, as it's been causing me more harm than good lately. I should have signed off when I posted my "farewell" thread many moons ago, but I couldn't do it. Perhaps now is the time?

Paul -

I can't possibly have said it better than City. That was one of the most sensible, loving, kind & considerate replies I've seen.

You've been my buddy for a long time now & I'm sorry to hear you're distressed & I can't give you a huge hug & a pep talk face to face. I don't live close enough to entice you out of the house for a latte or an ice cream, but if you'd like a Boston vacation again, come on up for a week. It's only 330-mi by car. Busses run from the Square to S. Station which is 1-mi from my house. I've driven so many times that it's over in about the time it takes to listen to 5-6 CD's in your car, as long as you time it perfectly to miss Boston am/pm rush hour traffic. I'd need to check into a parking sticker, as we have residental parking each evening until 8am. They tow here, not sticker.

The best? I'm a 3-block walk from miles of beaches with swimming, windsurfing, parasurfing, cute lifeguards, bike paths, running paths & the Island which is on the Travel Channel's Top 10 list for burgers/fries in the US. You can see the ocean from my 3rd floor deck, which is sunny all day long. (If you followed my earlier post, the bee is currently gone, so the coast is clear!) There are more parks in Boston than any other city. Boston's hugely gay-friendly. I live in an upscale neighborhood, which is relatively safe. I can get free tix to most museums - MFA, ICA, Science, etc. & the Aquarium.

The worst? You know I'm doing renovations, which means, no furniture, no TV, no cable. But, you can have a whole empty room to yourself if you don't mind sleeping in a sleeping bag, which you'll have to bring. Okay, that's a big con, but pack your car with a few comforters for cushioning. Call it roughing it in the Hub. I have 100K pillows, so you'll be fine. You can even have your own window fan to drown out city noise. I have a fully working kitchen, but I'm not your mamma, so you need to feed yourself...

The catch? Nothing. No, you don't have to help me mortar a wall or sand a floor.

Give me a few weeks as I'm recovering from surgery & can't get out & about just yet. Spend some time online looking for things you'd like to see. The Garment District has great vintage clothing & collectibles. Copley/Harvard/Porter/Davis Sqs. are loaded with fun. Independant film prospers. Outdoor cafes are plentiful. Theatre, Fenway Pk & too much more to mention. You know, you've already been here, so I don't need to tell you what's here.

Cheer up as best as you can. Don't beat yourself up. You're doing right by posting here. I'll see you soon, either here or in W-B.

Keep me posted, my friend... VV

[BlueWillowPlate]

You have received some good advice here.
I know what you mean about the euphoria wearing off.
I do not think that CD has more than its share of petty, cruel posters, perhaps it has just grown rather fast--sometimes when the bad apples appear, they attract more attention that the regular, nice folks.
I especially like what SandyCo said, especially her last paragraph.
Please don't leave. You are such a kind, funny, articulate person, and I and others would really miss your presence on CD.

[dreameyes]

Hi Scranton,

I'm so sorry that you feel this way. You seem like such a wonderful person with so much to offer. I've always enjoyed your photos and don't see how tempers could flare because of them. I swear some people will pick an arguement and get angry over anything! Please don't leave your presence here is so much appreciated. Judging from so many of the posts I've read there are sooo many people on here that love you!
I think you just need to find somebody you can talk to that you feel comfortable with. Talking can do wonders!!

[skytrekker]

Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre

Does anyone have any good strategies on how to cope with depression? A couple of years ago I went through a very traumatic time in my family life, and I still haven't recovered in the least bit. I often cry myself to sleep, mope around, and I've distanced myself so much from my friends that I now have very few of them.

I come onto City-Data so much because, at least for a brief while, it was therapeutic to interact with so many new online friends. However, that euphoria is beginning to wear off now that I spend more time on here defending myself and getting into petty arguments with people than I do trying to make connections with others. I think I hit my "peak" on here when I found out that a family I had helped on here was happily-enjoying their new home in Scranton; it made me actually feel like I had accomplished something in my life for a change instead of just screwing everything up. Since then, even my well-intentioned photo tours are now garnering angst and flaring tempers from others, none of which was my intention. I just seem to screw up everything on here anymore, so now, without the "crutch" of City-Data to help prop up my mood, I just don't feel motivated to live anymore.

HELP!!! I just simply don't know what to do. What made me happiest in life was volunteering with charities in my community, but I no longer have much time to do that as a full-time student and full-time employee. My photo tours also helped me to "take the edge off," but I don't know if I'll be doing any more now that I see that they cause more arguments than anything else. I used to have "vent" sessions where I would sit in the dark in my home-office, play Enya, turn off the lights, and just cry for a while. Now, not even that is helping me.

I suppose I could go see a therapist again, but I think I'd feel even more depressed for having the "crazy" stigma hanging over my head. Come to think of it, a lot of people I know are depressed; are we just becoming a society of sadness? What makes you all rise each morning ambitious and ready to take in a fresh new day? My faith in God used to do that for me as well, but I'm no longer spiritual after hearing time after time about how "God hates gays" and yada, yada, yada. I just think that if God hates me, then why should I even bother with worship?

I've just hit a stumbling block here, and I might just "sign-off" for a long time from this site, as it's been causing me more harm than good lately. I should have signed off when I posted my "farewell" thread many moons ago, but I couldn't do it. Perhaps now is the time?

This site can be addictive- however I have learned to go with the flow- it seems there are alot of angry people here- and I feel Citydata is a dichotomy of what is troubling American society today; Polarization of the right and the left; economic stress and a widening gap between the haves and have nots; the specter of man made disaster with global warming; a health care system that is about ready to implode; and apathetic politicians from both political parties- the threat of terrorism- and add to that $3 a gallon gasoline; and a growing geographic chasm between certain areas of the country- and BINGO- you have much in the way of apathy, anger, and social anomie.

Feeling burned out? Its here- on CD- believe me.
Perhaps therapy or some kind of medication to sooth out the rough spots (I have been on Buspar for 7 years(I suffer from GAD (generalized anxiety disorder).

The best thing to do here is to drift in and out- and learn to be objective- present data and information on this forum very analytically- being emotional only makes one more despondent and increasing lonely and isolated. And read some of the blogs- they can be fun.