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Well when I redid our house I went and chose a color theme - you know those booklets you can get from paint stores? Something like that. Walls first, then fabrics - furniture & curtains. Sometimes you had to work with what you already had and couldn't change but most pieces fit ok.
I kept a physical notebook with paint colors and fabric swatches with me when I went looking. Say you need a few pillows - hit the store with your book and you can instantly see if something is going to match/fit.
I went room by room - some were easy, some took more effort. I got the whole house done within a year. And when it was finished I had a notebook that detailed every choice - so if I needed to fix something (match paint?) I had the info right there.
When we have remodeled, it was because of a need. Twice, our kitchens were so outdated that neither of use could stand them. The first time, the floor plan was awful as well, so that was changed. We also ended up widening a hallway, and moving a door to the garage. That is the most extensive remodel we ever did. What drove it was dislike of how the house worked for us, which included the awful kitchen.
In terms of decorating, we usually felt we needed to freshen things up. I often would decide on a color range up front, but not always. Once, I changed a bedroom to a sewing/crafts room that required two redecorations in two bedrooms. Another time I sponge painted a bedroom with leftover paint. Once we made two child's bedrooms more friendly to active play, and we obtained some new furniture at the same time.
We don't do these things lightly. We think about them. I probably stew about them actually. I like the house to be functional. I hate bad floor plans, and awkwardness in general. We usually have known what we wanted to accomplish by the time we found the money to get going.
When we have simply repainted, this has been driven by a feeling that our present rooms are outdated and stale. I know that decorators say things like, "Just go for it. Its only paint!" But painting requires a lot of effort for us. Furniture must be covered and/or moved. I want to get it right the first time. I have had to live with some mistakes for years.
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