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Old 04-03-2016, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 24,968,193 times
Reputation: 50789

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Quote:
Originally Posted by keraT View Post

my main problem after this realization of me being a dreamer is:
1) even if I get my perfect house someday will I be a slob and make mess of that house. I have friends who are messy and regardless of how big there house is, it is still messy. Then there are people with simple place but beautifully organized.
2) When I de-clutter the place is bla, when I add things on its cluttered. how do I find that balance?
You are over thinking this. Try to make your place a home and stop being afraid. There isn't anything to be afraid of. Get your husband to pull his fair share, and both of you try to be neater in general. You will like your place a lot better uncluttered.

What steps have you taken since your first post?
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Old 04-04-2016, 12:12 AM
 
2,606 posts, read 2,689,281 times
Reputation: 3550
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
You are over thinking this. Try to make your place a home and stop being afraid. There isn't anything to be afraid of. Get your husband to pull his fair share, and both of you try to be neater in general. You will like your place a lot better uncluttered.

What steps have you taken since your first post ?
Love that question in the end, I will use it next time I talk to a friend complaining about life

So I spent this weekend cleaning up my little place. I spent lot of time in bedroom, trying to get that right. I took everything off all surface. I have lot of souvenirs from trips that I enjoy looking at. But I realize keep adding more souvenirs won't work in this place. After playing around bit I decided to display few items & hid rest in a box. I will rotate Deco every month or so. Right now I have wooden curving I got from Bahamas and a painting of ocean. I removed all crystal, glass type items.

Cleaning definitely helped. I still have to figure out what to do in living room, it needs something, and the 2nd room/office. Hubby is there mostly I don't care. I will have to say that I am proud of myself for not running out and shopping for things to fix the house. At first I kept making list of things I need to get to fix the place but this thread made me realize I need to fix what I have before getting more. After basic cleaning I went out for grocery and I found myself looking at home department but I told myself until I am done cleaning I will not buy anything.

Bedroom I am 80% happy with for now so wont touch it till later. Bathroom is clean, I would like to change color of shower curtain n rug but that can wait. Entertainment room, I would love two tall vase on both side of Tv stand but maybe narrow shelf might help with storage. Also my nephews always come over n play videogames sometimes with their friends. I am afraid all the boys might break my vase or any decorative items I put in that room. I have nothing there besides sofa n tv n photo albums. I will work on these 2 rooms later.
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Old 04-04-2016, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Venus
5,837 posts, read 5,233,678 times
Reputation: 10703
Quote:
Originally Posted by keraT View Post
Love that question in the end, I will use it next time I talk to a friend complaining about life

So I spent this weekend cleaning up my little place. I spent lot of time in bedroom, trying to get that right. I took everything off all surface. I have lot of souvenirs from trips that I enjoy looking at. But I realize keep adding more souvenirs won't work in this place. After playing around bit I decided to display few items & hid rest in a box. I will rotate Deco every month or so. Right now I have wooden curving I got from Bahamas and a painting of ocean. I removed all crystal, glass type items.

Cleaning definitely helped. I still have to figure out what to do in living room, it needs something, and the 2nd room/office. Hubby is there mostly I don't care. I will have to say that I am proud of myself for not running out and shopping for things to fix the house. At first I kept making list of things I need to get to fix the place but this thread made me realize I need to fix what I have before getting more. After basic cleaning I went out for grocery and I found myself looking at home department but I told myself until I am done cleaning I will not buy anything.

Bedroom I am 80% happy with for now so wont touch it till later. Bathroom is clean, I would like to change color of shower curtain n rug but that can wait. Entertainment room, I would love two tall vase on both side of Tv stand but maybe narrow shelf might help with storage. Also my nephews always come over n play videogames sometimes with their friends. I am afraid all the boys might break my vase or any decorative items I put in that room. I have nothing there besides sofa n tv n photo albums. I will work on these 2 rooms later.


WTG!!! That's a start. Who knows, maybe when you are done, you may learn that you really love your place.



Cat
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Old 04-05-2016, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Former LI'er Now Rehoboth Beach, DE
13,034 posts, read 17,943,521 times
Reputation: 13969
You should try this as it will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed. 3 boxes. Keep, Trash, Donate. Take just 10 minutes every day to devote to this and before you know it you will be stress free and able to make good decisions. I have a friend who is border line hoarder except now she is very clean and her problem is she is keeping the stuff for her daughter who at 38, shows no signs of ever needing baby toys, most especially those that were hers. I finally convinced her to try this and while she still keeps way too much stuff the house looks a lot better.
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Old 04-12-2016, 09:00 AM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,063 posts, read 63,416,388 times
Reputation: 92644
When I was newly married, I dreamed of having my own new house too. When we did build a new house, the reality was not as good as the fantasy. When you are actually faced with a lot of decisions at once, you tend to either become paralyzed, or make the wrong decisions.

My advise to OP is to use this challenging apartment as a learning tool. Good an bad decisions you make now will only reinforce your skill and confidence later.

It is now over 40 years and several houses, after my first house, and I still make a few mistakes, but not many. Basic truth is, always have enough storage. If your house is messy, OP, then you have too much stuff. You might not have the luxury of having any decorative items now. You should not have any "someday" clothes. Choose as many double duty items as possible...storage ottoman, baskets, night stands with cupboards, you get it.

Your husband needs to feel the pinch, too. He can't take up space with stuff that doesn't fit either.
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Old 04-12-2016, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
2,324 posts, read 5,488,911 times
Reputation: 2593
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brookside View Post
^ Excellent advice!

My own opinion is that sometimes sites like Pinterest or Houzz are a set up for failure. Those displays are so completely perfect as to be overwhelming – how does an ordinary person achieve something like that? I know I've gone on Houzz in particular to ask where a certain piece was sourced or what color the paint was, only to be told, "it's all custom and a designer did it all."


Most of all: be patient! It will come! And don't be too hard on yourself. Life is too short for that.
I have the same problem with Architectural Digest. It's amazing how often the a piece of furniture is "bespoke" (i.e. you probably can't afford it). I'll see a cool rug and find out it's $12,000 or a kitchen faucet and it's $2800 or wallpaper and it's suede handmade in France. The key is finding really good copies sometimes, like the chandelier from Design Within Reach that was $3600 for about $300 at Z Gallerie.
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Old 04-16-2016, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 24,968,193 times
Reputation: 50789
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
When I was newly married, I dreamed of having my own new house too. When we did build a new house, the reality was not as good as the fantasy. When you are actually faced with a lot of decisions at once, you tend to either become paralyzed, or make the wrong decisions.

My advise to OP is to use this challenging apartment as a learning tool. Good an bad decisions you make now will only reinforce your skill and confidence later.

It is now over 40 years and several houses, after my first house, and I still make a few mistakes, but not many. Basic truth is, always have enough storage. If your house is messy, OP, then you have too much stuff. You might not have the luxury of having any decorative items now. You should not have any "someday" clothes. Choose as many double duty items as possible...storage ottoman, baskets, night stands with cupboards, you get it.

Your husband needs to feel the pinch, too. He can't take up space with stuff that doesn't fit either.
This.
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Old 04-16-2016, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 24,968,193 times
Reputation: 50789
Quote:
Originally Posted by whoisjongalt View Post
I have the same problem with Architectural Digest. It's amazing how often the a piece of furniture is "bespoke" (i.e. you probably can't afford it). I'll see a cool rug and find out it's $12,000 or a kitchen faucet and it's $2800 or wallpaper and it's suede handmade in France. The key is finding really good copies sometimes, like the chandelier from Design Within Reach that was $3600 for about $300 at Z Gallerie.
Copy Cat Chic - Luxe Living for Less

https://www.pinterest.com/loucrabtree/knock-off-decor/

There is at least one other blog that finds knock offs but I can't remember the title!

I find decorating blogs better at showcasing real world homes that mags like Arch Digest.
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Old 04-17-2016, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Texas
133 posts, read 174,706 times
Reputation: 353
1st - Save. Save. Save. Be prepared for the day when a small, inexpensive house in your current neighborhood comes available and get it ASAP. No, it won't be the perfect house but it will be YOURS. This way both you and your husband's needs will be met. I can't tell you the difference in your feeling of wellbeing you will get from your own home. Nobody's first home is perfect. I do mean NOBODY'S.


2nd - Follow the advice above about decluttering. Purchase inexpensive items from used furniture stores, consignment shops, Goodwill, etc., and fix up your current place in the mean time. (See #1 above about saving.)


3rd - There is nothing wrong with dreaming. I read that dreams are free. Might as well dream big. While you're dreaming about the perfect house, make PLANS to get ANY house.
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