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I always thought little focus went into the decor, but instead just a space where the guy can watch his sports. Especially during the football season, and invites some of his rowdy friends over. At least that's what a few guys I work with told me years ago, that their man space is primary for watching the games in peace. I guess they don't want to hold the den hostage from the rest of the family all day long.
People cringe at the term because it implies that the only room for true relaxing and getting away from it all is set aside for the man of the house. The woman gets the kitchen where she gets to work, work, work. But the man gets the mancave where he can eat, drink, belch. Anyhow, it is a funny concept in that usually it is just the junk room or the basement with the spare TV in it.
I think that helps explain my particular distaste for the concept. Thank you!
Because it means they had nothing to do with the decorating- and they don't want to be associated with "that" decor. In otherwords, they didn't have CONTROL!!!
My "space"- the garage. I "allow" her to park a car in there; and nothing else!
Because it means they had nothing to do with the decorating- and they don't want to be associated with "that" decor. In otherwords, they didn't have CONTROL!!!
My "space"- the garage. I "allow" her to park a car in there; and nothing else!
With the "tone" of a lot of these replies, I think you may be correct....
Wow, cleaning is not a big deal. We share those duties! The caves get cleaned by their respective "rulers" and the rest of the house we split roughly equally. No need to measure square footage...geez.
The term mancave may be a turnoff but the concept obviously works for lots of people, whatever you call the separate areas. I know a woman who has a garden shed that we jokingly refer to as the Taj Majal of the yard. Others have art studios, writing retreats, etc. It isn't always a guy thing.
My "space"- the garage. I "allow" her to park a car in there; and nothing else!
That's how my husband is about the garage, except that he "allows" a bicycle and a small shelf of gardening tools, as long as I manage to fit my bags of potting soil and fertilizer onto the same shelf. It kind of drives me nuts since he's filled all the closets and other random storage spaces with books he doesn't read, magazines he does read and then stores for decades, guns, gun cleaning tools, gun belts, patrol bags, tools, etc. He can't store any of that in the garage because the heat and humidity is not good for it, but I can't store anything in the garage because it's his space.
Reality shows are heavily edited. They easily capture 200 hours of raw footage which is cut to 41 minutes to make a 1 hour show (the rest of course is commercials).That eye-rolling can easily be spliced in because the show editor wanted an eye-roll to elicit a viewer reaction, even though the raw footage came from a different point in time.
I had to kind of laugh reading this because it's so true. After looking at a house the realtor will say something about, okay, we'll go see another one so you expect them to be wearing the same clothes, etc. but they mostly aren't. And they don't see all three homes in one day. The clothes and weather can be completely different from 'earlier in the day'. Sometimes they will actually say "tomorrow" for more homes but not often. I bet it takes a week, or more, to make each show.
That business about a "man cave", or even the old yawner about the husband getting the least closet space, are just things that were probably kind of funny the first few times and now they are just old hat and not funny anymore. You can bet you'll hear them, at least once, in every.single.show. I recall a couple of times when the guy actually said it, about the closet space. He had WAY more clothes and shoes than she did! lol
I am like the poster who says he shares space with his wife and doesn't mind. Now, if you lived in a tiny space like my husband and I, you would have ZERO areas for yourself. But even in a future house, if my husband had a space for his gaming, I don't think he'd think of it as his space exclusively. If I said, "Hey, want to play XYZ?" he'd probably pull a chair out for me in two seconds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remington Steel
I always wondered why do "most" wives cringe or always have something negative to say about us men having our "space". I notice on all the HDTV shows, as soon as the man mentions having a "man-cave", the wife always has something smart/negative to say or just rolls her eyes. Is it that women hate for us to feel too "comfortable" in our own surroundings or they just think it's a waste of space? Please enlighten me!!
You're basing your observations off of fake shows. It's like when people come on here and get upset about the couples on House Hunters complaining about the same crap they do in every episode without realizing the show is fake. Or it's kind of like when, on the same shows, you see the wife stupidly saying, "Ohhh, and I guess these two closets in the bedroom are for me." (Now come to my place and see which person has more crap in their closets...)
So where's the cave for the woman on these shows anyway? Why don't I get a cave? Maybe I want to drink beer and watch sports, something I enjoy doing more than my husband anyway.
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Originally Posted by Pitt Chick
God... no one cringes at the though of you having space.
No one hates you for being comfortable.
I believe both men and women should have "caves" or some workable version of them. Not everything in life is about ones relationship or family, for starters there is the YOU in all of us which can get lost. Its also a respectful thng to do to let each other have their own space and time without interruption. Heck, teenagers get it all the time, why not us grown up teenagers
Obviously it cant become a habit, well, that can work too, especially if youve been married for a quarter of a century or more and both retired
I guess I don't look at it as a space I "need". In my mind the wife has the majority of decorating the entire house in the way SHE likes, so what is wrong with the husband having his own "space" that he decorates and can retreat to watch his movies or sports or whatever. My "man-cave" is accessible to everyone in the house to use at their leisure...I will never or have ever turned them away...and no one in my family has a problem with saying "that is dad's space". I think a lot of people have a misconception about "separate" spaces in a household. It is nothing wrong with it. It is not a selfish or self-indulgent gesture...and it is just a "slang" term (man-cave) that has been around for darn near 30+ years. I think the terms "kiddos" and "hubby/wifey" are idiotic and childish....so to each their own I guess.
Agree. While my husband does give his input on the decorating of the house as a whole, he largely leaves much of that to me (which I am grateful for). He never mentioned specifically wanting a man space but I've always felt that a man should have his own zone where he could decorate it as he liked. In our last house, the only space that functioned for him was the formal living room and he had little, if any, input as to how it was decorated. I vowed that would change if we ever moved. When we moved into our current house, we designated what used to be a large craft room as his man space and what do you know...he clearly liked the concept of having his own space! I tried to suggest curtains for the room and was met with a "hell no" Everything conceived for that room comes from him and quite frankly it looks awesome. It's decked out in all his geeky and non-geeky delights and has artwork selected by him on the walls. so yes, I think a guy should have his own space. Not because he "needs" it but because I like the concept of him having his own domain where he can have a space that functions well for him vs. having to worry about everyone else. FYI, we all are welcome to use it (and we do).
We've been married 13 loving years. Have two young children. We enjoy each other's company but it's not unnatural for people to sometimes want their own space. Heck, I sometimes want my own space. I'm an only child and still carry some of my "lone wolf" tendencies. My husband learned a long time ago that I'm like this. I sometimes like to go into my own retreat to read a good book whereas my husband can watch family guy in his room. The kids also have their own space. The loft area has become their playroom and yes, they play in their rooms AND in their play space. There's never enough places to play, especially since their toys far exceed their room space (rooms are both 11 x 14). Toys even find their way into the man space on occasion It will probably convert back to a loft once they're older.
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Everything conceived for that room comes from him and quite frankly it looks awesome. It's decked out in all his geeky and non-geeky delights and has artwork selected by him on the walls. so yes, I think a guy should have his own space. Not because he "needs" it but because I like the concept of him having his own domain where he can have a space that functions well for him vs. having to worry about everyone else. FYI, we all are welcome to use it (and we do).
