How to be a better household manager--overwhelmed! (floors, how much, stove)

[springfieldva]

You need to simplify your meal preparation - save the labor intensive stuff for special occasions. And when you make a time consuming casserole, make a couple of extra ones to pop into the freezer.

You don't eat meat but there are lots of vegetarian meals that can be put together quickly - rice and beans, veggie/mushroom/black bean burgers, spaghetti, soups, vegetarian chili, wraps, etc. Keep your meals as simple as you can, especially during the week. Eat breakfast at work and you won't have to worry about tidying up the kitchen in the morning.

During the week spray and wipe down the sink after you brush your teeth. Spray and wipe down the toilet, too. Even use a daily spray in the shower to keep the soap scum down. But if you spend more than 10 minutes a day doing this, your spending too long cleaning. You really only need to scrub/scour the bathroom once a week, IMO.

Be patient with yourself. It all gets easier and takes less time once you have a little practice under your belt.

[Hedgehog_Mom]

Originally Posted by Bass101

Meal planning has always been a huge source of stress for me. I never really learned how to do this well. The idea of spending several hours on a Sunday cooking for the week is very unappealing to me. I'd rather do it in smaller bits on the week nights, making things that will last at least two nights. I can't imagine meal planning for two weeks at a time--seems extremely complicated. I can barely do one week at a time. I'm trying to master one week at a time for now and then maybe I can move on to two weeks at a time.

I can't seem to make it through the week without going to the grocery store 3 times, at a minimum. I always shop with a list and a meal plan and the intent of just going once a week but I find that we eat everything so quickly that I run out of stuff after a few days and have to go back for more several times. I don't know how to manage this issue.

My meal planning usually includes lunches for the week, and four dinners for the week (with leftovers the next day), as well as healthy snacks (like cheese and crackers, fruit, etc.). But we just eat everything too quickly and I have to keep going back to the grocery store. And I feel that our food spending is too high. We spend about $200 a week on groceries for two people (and we don't eat meat, so it's not meat that is the cause of the high food bills). It seems like $200 is too high but I don't know how to get that amount down. We don't eat things like frozen chicken fingers for dinner (which I know would be more economical), but on the other hand it's not like I'm cooking anything gourmet. I buy a lot of fresh produce and that seems to be partly behind these high grocery bills. The problem is that although it's just the two of us, we eat like a family of four (we are of normal weight, though, we just eat a lot). I find when I make a casserole or something that says it serves 8 that we often only get one meal out of it because we're big eaters. So that's part of the problem. It's only when I double recipes for casseroles, etc. that we get two meals out of it, but of course that increases the grocery bills even more.

The more trips to the grocery store, the more you will spend. There are all kinds of goodies at the grocery store just waiting to jump into your cart and come home with you.

You can do a week of meal planning and then just double it. Then write down the ingredients you need for those dinners. Make another column with the paper goods and toiletries you need to buy, and another with snacks.

Here's a sample of a week:

Monday: BBQ chicken breast (bake in oven, put bbq sauce on last 5 min), roasted red potatoes, green beans
Tues: Spaghetti, salad, bread sticks (buy frozen ones)
Wed: sweet and sour chicken (stir fried, not deep-fried), jasmine rice, asian veggies (buy frozen, steam them)
Thurs: Fajita tacos (preseasoned chicken or beef, diced bell pepper and oinion, put in crock pot on low before you leave for work), flour tortillas, salad with guacamole dressing
Fri: dine out
Sat: dine out
Sun: Pulled pork sandwiches (put pork roast or loin in crockpot in morning with one diced onion, cook on low all day, drain liquid, remove bones if any, shred pork with forks, add bottle of bbq sauce and cook one more hour) and fries, with a veggie of your choice on the side. Use leftovers for lunches during the week.

And then my grocery list would look like this:
4lb frozen chicken breast
1lb lean hamburger
2lb beef or chicken fajita meat
4lb pork roast
1lb red potatoes
3lb packaged salad
1lb green beans
2 onions
1 bell pepper
1 bottle sweet and sour sauce (kikkoman is good)
1lb spaghetti
1 jar spaghetti sauce
1 lg bottle bbq sauce
jasmine rice
italian dressing
guacamole dressing
frozen asian veggies
frozen fries
frozen bread sticks

[springfieldva]

The same meal planning principals apply to any diet. You can substitute tofu for the meat in most of the above recipes.

Other easy meatless dinner ideas might be:

Veggie/tofu stir fry served over cous cous.
Red beans and rice with a garden salad.
Spaghetti with vegetarian meatballs and parmesan toast.
Mushroom burgers with a side of sauteed spinach and chickpeas.
Vegetarian chili over baked potato.
Vegetable soup, salad and veggie stuffed pita or panini.
Fettucini alfredo.
(Eat out one night)

Then just break the meals down into a grocery list:

tofu
cous cous
rice (brown or white)
pasta - spaghetti and linguini
spaghetti sauce
alfredo sauce
red beans
chickpeas
mushroom burgers
buns
vegetarian meatballs
vegetable soup
veggie chili
pita
Italian bread
parmesan
potatoes
2 bags prewashed salad
1 bag prewashed spinach
carrots
broccoli
green pepper
onion
any other vegetable you like

(Don't stress out too much about making meals strictly from scratch - pre made meatballs, soups, etc. are fine. Especially when your first starting to cook)

[NY Annie]

First, I think you are doing well. But...... yup, there's a but in there. Why does all responsibility fall on your shoulders and yours alone? That's the first thing you should be looking at. If you and your husband have an agreement that you are the one to be in charge, then that's your answer. If he is just not stepping up to the plate, that's a different story and my advice will be different.

Second, once you establish division of responsibilities, there is a book I recommend. Read it through once - when you're alone. I found the book totally hysterical - laugh out loud. After you've read it through, go back and start the set-up. Even if there are things you do automatically (you said daily pickup/upkeep/shopping/etc.), still set up a card for them. Because, those are the things you can delegate. And the system in the book is excellent for doing that. It also works great for children.
The name of the book is: S.H.E. Sidetracked Home Executives.

I do not believe you are side-tracked - if anything you might be obsessive about doing the job well. But you need to learn what and how to delegate. The idea is to not spend every waking moment outside of work doing household chores - else what's the point? Just get extra jobs and never see each other.
Get Organized with the Sidetracked Home Executives/Slob Sisters!

I did NOT like Flylady (an offshoot of the S.H.E. system)

[00molavi]

Honestly I did not read all the responses, no time to do it-have to get to the hubby chores.

But seems like you are doing a great job, just worrying too much. Throw in two kids and then you learn that perfection is a myth. Do what you can, sometimes you have to get a pizza or a sub-so what. Cleaning the house 1.5 hrs a day is way too much. Just put everything back where they were and you should be fine for 1-2 weeks.

In our house the yard, repairs, car maintenance and repairs (yes I am DIY'er) is my responsibility, I do some shopping and the once a week barbecue. I also work anywhere from 70 to 90 hrs a week, max of two weekends off. The key is not to worry. If the engine oil didn't get changed tonight I will do it in 2 days. I just keep changing my priority list as I go.

[kcam213]

Originally Posted by BucsLose

No offense but I envy you. Most people and couples all work day jobs and many find a way to prioritize and get it done. I'd love to be home all day being a "household manager".

I think the OP works outside the home. She talks about having to take off from work to be home when workers come for repairs.

[nomoresnow]

Please read the following like I'm your concerned favorite Aunt:

OMG, honey, fix yourself a glass of wine, sit down and relax for a few. Life is way too short to be a perfect "household manager."

Yes, we all love a nice, clean house with all the laundry folded and put away and nary a speck of dust to be found. But Wally and The Beav won't mind if you slack off a bit.

You've had some real good advice here. Glad to hear the laundry thing's working for you. The nice thing about that is that it can be running while you're preparing dinner. Multi tasking works.

Another thing that works is to pick up as you go along. As soon as you're done with something, put it away. Don't leave clothes hanging around - hang them up or throw them in the hamper. Do dishes as you're preparing dinner. Don't leave all the dirty prep dishes hanging around - like a previous poster mentioned, have a sinkful of hot, soapy water handy and toss them in when you move onto something else. Wash and rinse when you're waiting for something to bake or boil.

We retired 4 years ago and I'm nowhere near as anal about housework as I used to be. I realize that it's better for us to spend time together than for me to be stressing about how the house looks. This March, one of my dear friends in the neighborhood passed away. This lovely lady, at 83, had her house spotless. Dust did not dare show its ugly face in her home. Her husband is totally disabled and she cared for him, made all the meals. She'd be out in her driveway early every morning to make sure that the pine needles were gone. She passed away while I held her hand. Not once did she say, "Gee, I wish I had one more day to clean the house."

Best of luck to you, dear. May you have a rich and full life. Enjoy!

[SusqueHappy]

^ Yes!

I also use the electronic calendar planner that is part of our email program. I set up recurring "appointments" for the homemaking targets. This way I know that even if we can't or don't get to a task, it doesn't get forgotten. I also can keep track of how many times I postponed or short-changed a task and mark it as a priority for the future.

[swbtoo]

Originally Posted by hnsq

I pulled out just your list of tasks...



I am posting this as a single guy in his mid-20's who owns a house, works full time and goes to school at night, just for some context. I picked a few things from your list...

cooking: Do this once/week. Take a few hours every sunday and cook everything for the week. That is what I do. Cooking every day is a waste of time.
going the grocery store, going to Target: Do these things online. Sign up for Amazon Prime. You pay $80/year and get free two day shipping on everything from amazon. Amazon has an online grocery store now too. I rarely set foot in a physical store for anything...I order food/household supplies online and it comes in two days. Set up a few 'standard orders' (things that you order multiple times) and your shopping is reduced to clicking a single button
paying bills: set up automatic bill pay. There is no reason to spend any time at all paying bills any more.
Cleaning: what do you do for an hour and a half every day? I think I spend two hours per week cleaning, if that!


So what does your husband do, exactly? Does he actually not have time, or is that just an excuse? I just ask because between my job and school, I work about 70-75 hours per week and I keep up with a house pretty well on my own...I can't imagine he is simply unable to help with this stuff.

Some excellent ideas here (as well as in other posts). I strongly agree with the Amazon Prime idea. We have it and it's more than paid for itself every year, especially with buying gifts for friends and relatives living some distance away. Shipping directly to them for free is a huge saving. Also, bill paying online is a real time saver, especially for those bills that repeat each month. Another good idea: go grocery shopping only once a week, and make good use of your freezer.

[nomoresnow]

I was just going to suggest the online bill paying feature, but Southward Bound beat me to it. It's a very helpful tool.