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Old 10-13-2014, 07:32 AM
 
7,982 posts, read 4,283,738 times
Reputation: 6744

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Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
It's me again. I am one who suggested having a face to face discussion with him and point blank asking him why he was putting his trash bin there. Bullies often tuck their tail and run when actually confronted in a calm, direct manner.

Don't argue with him. Don't get ornery. Just approach him and say, "Hey, Weird Person (lol, don't really say that but use his name) - I noticed that you put your trash bin on the walk way rather than on the edge of your yard. Why do you do that?"

He will probably stutter and stammer and say something that doesn't make a bit of sense. Regardless of what he says, don't argue, and don't even state your case. Just say, "I was just wondering what your reasoning was." Then walk off. That should make him wonder.

That one conversation may be enough to fix the problem right then and there.

Then, every single time, move his trash can to his property. It has to be only a few steps away. Just move it onto his property. It can't be that difficult - and certainly less difficult than looking at it leaning against your fence and being irritated every single time. If you don't want to actually step onto his property, just roll it to the curb in front of his house. Directly in front. If he has a sidewalk, put it in the middle of his sidewalk. Don't sneak around and do this - do it in plain daylight. If you see him looking out his window or standing on his porch, smile and wave cheerfully at him. If he actually says something to you ("Hey, don't touch my trash bin!") just say, "I'm just returning it to you,"...and just keep doing it. Meanwhile, you could really confuse him by also bringing over some fresh baked cookies or banana nut bread, or sending him a funny Halloween or Christmas card, or bringing over a big slice of pecan pie Thanksgiving evening - that sort of thing.

Heck, this almost sounds like fun.

You have nothing to lose if you do this, and everything to gain. Face it - he's probably not going to be your friend or even a good neighbor - ever. But I agree with the poster above who relayed the story of her weird neighbor who became her friend. There are some really lonely, odd people out there who do respond well to respectful "confrontation." It actually makes them respect you - and sometimes they come around beautifully. Like the poster above, I speak from experience. He may end up being your most loyal fan.

But the key is to NEVER let on that he's bothering you. Be cheerful, be direct, and be consistent. I think you should send a letter to the HOA just clarifying that it's not your trash bin (don't mention names). That way you're covered on that end. His trash bin isn't really hurting you or your property, so there's no need to get all bent out of shape. Treat it as a game - I can assure you that HE thinks of it that way. Just move it and smile and wave and be kind to him. Worst case scenario - you'll confuse the heck out of him. Best case scenario - he'll soften right up and you've defused a situation.

You are so awesome! I love everything you wrote. Thank you! I agree with you...you're totally right.
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Old 10-13-2014, 07:35 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,448,814 times
Reputation: 22752
Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
I understand it bugs you. Now since you have clarified, it isn't your property, let it go. The guy sounds a bit off, and you are escalating an issue that just 'bugs' you. It's like a person parking their car in front of your house, absolutely legal but annoying.

Save your anger for if/when he does something worse. You don't want to come off as the crazy.
Good points.
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Old 10-13-2014, 08:39 AM
 
Location: In a chartreuse microbus
3,863 posts, read 6,293,738 times
Reputation: 8107
anifani is right on the money here. Think about it: This guy has the advantage of knowing how far he can go due to living there for a quarter century and seeing what the HOA does and does not care about. He is pissed because you set up boundaries which he didn't think he had to adhere to. He doesn't think the rules apply to him. Steer clear, and let this one battle go. Good luck.
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Old 10-13-2014, 11:52 AM
 
7,280 posts, read 10,943,455 times
Reputation: 11491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypersion View Post
In most HOA the trashcans have to be removed from site within a sit amount of time.

Personally I would do nothing since I doubt I would even notice such a thing unless the can was on my properly or I could smell it from it.
In the OP it was stated the individual was trespassing. Allow that to continue or not meet if head and and solve that problem and over time, things will escalate, not if but when.

An HOA is not a mother, father, or babysitter. Stand up for yourself or sit inside your house because someone else decided that is where you need to stay.
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Old 10-13-2014, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Bel Air, California
23,766 posts, read 29,034,674 times
Reputation: 37337
"the best defense is a good offense" I always say, that and "a stitch in time saves nine" I never really understood what this ever meant and I doubt it's of much relevance in this situation. Go with the first one.
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Old 10-13-2014, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA, now.
21,020 posts, read 19,363,451 times
Reputation: 23666
Score for Kathryn!
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Old 10-13-2014, 06:25 PM
 
468 posts, read 582,501 times
Reputation: 1123
My neighbor thought he was mayor of the block. I ignored everything he did which bugged the hell out of him. BUT I put video cameras up around my property to catch him in the act if he got nasty.
Over the years you will notice WHAT bugs him and then you can quietly let him have it. Sorry to see that you have that kind of problem already. This is why my next move is definitely not in a sub-division with at least 2/3 acres where my neighbors are nice and far.
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Old 10-13-2014, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
18,462 posts, read 31,617,011 times
Reputation: 28001
my question is:
Is the fence a privacy fence where you cannot see thru it? if so, then who cares about where the pail is, if you cannt see it from your side.

also, how does the pail lean on the fence?, is it just next to it, that it is touching? it isnt causing any damage?

if it blocks the walkway, do you use the walk way where it is in your way? if so, then id kick the pail on his side (sorry, thats the brooklyn in me)


to me, if I couldn't see it from my side of the yard, I would not care. I also have a friend that has cancer, so somehow, when I hear stupid things like this, I get a little annoyed.

PS: I do admit, I like all Kathryn's advice on this. I too would simply move it, but id move it all the time..............or make it disappear like a few others have stated.


it really is a trivial thing to be worrying about though, you have to admit?
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Old 10-13-2014, 07:33 PM
 
Location: SLC, UT
1,571 posts, read 2,815,585 times
Reputation: 3919
If it's in the walkway, and not actually your property, then I don't know if you have the right to do anything. If you want, kick the can onto his property, letting the trash strewn out - he gets to clean up his trash every time until he learns to move it somewhere else. (Note: he could get security cameras and you could get in trouble for constantly spilling his trash onto his property.)

You could also photograph it and leave a message to the HOA about how you're concerned, in the event of a fire or some other catastrophe, that there's a blockage on the walkway. That's actually a legitimate concern, and one they may have regulations about.

Otherwise, if he's not breaking any regulations, and it's not actually your property, then ignore it. If he's doing anything else, like coming onto your property, install security cameras (they're really cheap online, especially if you get indoor ones and just point them out your windows), and record him breaking the law. Then you don't have to go to the HOA - then you can go to the police with documentation that he's habitually trespassing.

EDIT: By the way, if your complaint is that you feel like a virtual stranger isn't "respecting" you, then get over it. The walkway is, in your words, a "community walkway" and not on your property. And if the community (in this case, the HOA) doesn't care about it, then you need to get over it. You're not entitled to having your neighbor's respect, and since it's not on your property and you have a fence that shields it from your view, then it's really not something to ultimately get in a big huff over.
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Old 10-13-2014, 07:39 PM
 
7,982 posts, read 4,283,738 times
Reputation: 6744
Nightcrawler, I'm sorry about your friend who has cancer. It's a terrible disease. Sure, in the big scheme of things, it's trivial. But, a lot of trivial things are discussed on this board. Sometimes it's okay to dwell on the not-so-serious things in life.

The fence is board on board. The upright trash bin is touching the fence, not leaning on it. It is not damaging the fence. It partially obstructs the walkway behind my townhome.

Thanks for the input.
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