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My house is not as clean or neat as I would like. My husband and I work full-time. We keep up with the basics but dusting, bathroom cleaning, and vacuuming do not get done often enough. Paper also gets to be a problem - a few weeks ago my husband went on a tear and we got rid of every extraneous piece of paper in the house.
I do make a conscious choice to spend a lot of time at night and on weekends with my son. He is in a lot of activities and most weekends we're going to multiple sporting events or Boy Scout things. To me that's much more important than having a perfect house. I speak to some people who are obsessed to the point where they don't do anything in their spare time but clean..different strokes.
I've actually been thinking about getting a cleaning person in to take care of the stuff we don't get to..debating whether it's worth it.
I grew up in a house that was more like a museum - it was always spotless and never a piece out of place. It drove me nuts.
I keep a clean house, but I'm not obsessive about it like my mom is. We have a housecleaner that comes every two weeks to do a deep clean, and then we just do upkeep in between.
I let my kids be kids. I don't let them leave stuff laying on the floor because that's a tripping hazard, but I don't object if they are playing cards and leave them laying on the coffee table, or pile up books in their room, or don't make their bed before school.
But we don't pile dishes in the sink, and we do Swiffer the hardwoods, we have a robotic vacuum that does the entire first floor every night, and we do put clothes away once they'd been washed.
Let's put it this way - my house is never at a point where I'd be ashamed to have company come over unexpectedly. I may make an excuse, "Sorry for the pile of shoes - we just got home," or "sorry about all the boxes - we just ordered a bunch of Christmas gifts that came in today," but I've never had to say something like, "Sorry for the huge tufts of dog hair all over the sofa - my dog is blowing his coat right now."
I do make a conscious choice to spend a lot of time at night and on weekends with my son. He is in a lot of activities and most weekends we're going to multiple sporting events or Boy Scout things. To me that's much more important than having a perfect house.
That always comes up when this topic is mentioned.
First off, no one has a perfect house.
And then, having a clean house and spending time with your kids is not mutually exclusive.
DH and I also made "a conscious choice to spend a lot of time at night and on weekends" with our children.
There were also in multiple activities, and our weekends included travel hockey and band tournaments (among other things!).
But we still managed to NOT have a messy house.
Is it just me, or are more people living in filth these days than a few decades ago?
I see so many homes, even with a stay at home parent, where the house is constantly a wreck. Where there is no cleaning routine and kids are allowed to drop toys wherever they want. No one seems to care.
Maybe I'm a little OCD, but I can't stand clutter or dirty kitchens/bathrooms. We are two f/t working parents with two young kids. After dinner, the parent who didn't cook cleans the kitchen and does the dishes. Bathrooms all get a good scrubbing once a week and daily wipedowns. Hardwoods on the main level get Swiffered daily, and rugs/stair carpet gets vaccuumed once a week. Beds are made daily, and clean sheets are put on once a week. The kids are free to play with toys, but know to put them back when done. Coats go in the coat closet, shoes on a rack.
But I actually get rather snotty comments at times when people come into our house and see that it's clean/smells clean. I wasn't alive in the 50s/60s, so can't really compare that far back. But as a kid, I remember most people's homes were clean. Now it seems like people are in a competition to get on an episode of Hoarders. I'd think it's due to more two-parent worker households, but as I said, I see plenty of SAHMs in my neighborhood with messy homes.
I leave the house in the morning, for work, and don't return until almost 10pm. My bed does not get made most days (I just pull up the covers), and my floors get vacuumed at most, once every couple of weeks. It's just me here most of the time, so there is no need to clean so often. But I do hate "messy" so my home does appear to be somewhat clean, most of the time. It is certainly not a wreck. I damn sure don't have the time to swiffer daily, or do any sort of cleaning on a daily basis. If I was retired, I could see swiffering the kitchen floor every day, but that is it. I do think you might be a bit OCD, but I love a clean home and cannot imagine anyone making snotty remarks about yours. That is really odd.
As far as my own house, as soon as my son is out of college, I am hiring another cleaning service! I cannot wait.
a lot isn't important in one's Life Review but is of upmost importance in every day life.
Taking a bath probably isn't relevant in Life Review...........
I don't know about that.
My mom' mother was not a good housekeeper. It was embarrassing to her kids and it was not pleasant to live in. They remember this when they look back at her life and their years with her. It's not all they remember of course, but it plays a significant role in their memories.
Also, to me, peace of mind and a pleasant home is a very big part of my Life Review. My home is my creation, my haven, and it's one way I show love to my family members and hospitality to my guests - the comfort and convenience and peace that's here is my gift to others as well as myself. Part of all that is the cleanliness, the good mattresses and sheets, the stocked guest bathroom, the space in the closet for their clothes, the convenient little bedside table with a lamp and a clock and tissues, etc. I hope I will be remembered as a gracious hostess and a creative person.
That always comes up when this topic is mentioned.
First off, no one has a perfect house.
And then, having a clean house and spending time with your kids is not mutually exclusive.
DH and I also made "a conscious choice to spend a lot of time at night and on weekends" with our children.
There were also in multiple activities, and our weekends included travel hockey and band tournaments (among other things!).
But we still managed to NOT have a messy house.
I agree with both of you actually!
Your post here is spot on. But the other post by the mother musing as to whether or not she should get a maid to come in is also understandable. I think if she can afford it, she should do it. It WILL save her some time and they will enjoy a cleaner house.
Neither option is wrong. I would say that cleaning your house obsessively to the point of taking time away from your kids is wrong - and raising kids in a dirty house is wrong too. But neither of you are talking about either extreme.
When I was working full time and had four kids living at home, just for a year or so when they were about the ages of 6,8,10, and 12 I had a maid come in every two weeks. They were just not mature enough to help me significantly, and they were at that age where they're involved in everything but nothing independently if that makes sense. One of them was in soccer and that was a real time sucker. That little bit of extra help really did help. As the kids got older things got a bit easier because luckily I have three who are naturally neat people and they learned how to be a significant help with chores like vacuuming, dusting, dishes and scrubbing the bathrooms. And to me it was important for them to learn these skills and to learn to carry their part of the load.
I have been super neat and not so much. It depended upon my stage of life. Sometimes, we have to make priorities and just let some things go.
The low point in my housekeeping was when I worked full time, had a smallish house, helped hubby start a business, and had 3 teenagers and a baby. I don't think the laundry was ever finished, and the feeling of treading water was continuous. But like Oprah said, "If I could have done better, I would have done better."
Now it is just the two of us, and I have a peaceful, tidy, organized house, but I miss the days when things were messy.
My sister has a daughter in law whom is a total disaster with house cleaning and it is bad !!! I have seen it with my own eyes and then the DIL says housework is not a priority with her , oh really we could not tell . Her house does have an odor to it and my sister is trying to figure out the best way to tell her about it and she wants to go over there and help the girl by showing her how to clean and I told her bad idea just get a cleaning service and my sister says No cleaning people steal ,,,, I and my sister keep our houses spotless and we were raised that way Irish /Italian mother and German/ Dutch father and grandmother . I know that most houses that had a german background and Italian background have clean houses . In fact when I was a little girl I had a friend whose mom was german and she was a stay at home mom and everytime I stood at the door the smell of bleach overcame me and burned my eyes LOL ...to me that is chemical warfare cleaning . I don't think a germ could get past that .LOL . I don't think Im that clean though .
There is alot going on in life these days for families, I think more then any other time. And the amount of stuff...try being am om now and live in a house from the 50s. NO CLOSET SPACE! All we can do is do our best. I suggest if it bothers you to be around, invite people over to your clean home.
ETA my house is rarely this bad, but my kids are in school now and I have worked very hard, and continue working very hard, at creating a method.
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That is really odd.
