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People have an enormous emotional entanglement with their homes; home isn't "just" a place to live, people often see it as a reflection of who they are, their self-worth, their taste, financial situation, family, etc. Some people are just rigid and dogmatic, and have different priorities about what is important.
I grew up in a lovely old 1750's colonial in mid-state NY. I loved that house, but now I live in a tiny bungalow that I also love. The house is never the issue, rather it is the person's interpretation of what that house means to them. Wherever we go, there we are. At least that is how I see it
Thanks - this helps explain. It's why I posted here on the House forum, rather than on Psychology, because this phenomenon really is specific to people's homes. So yeah, I guess I was not really adequately allowing for the emotional investment people have in their homes, based of course in large part because of the enormity of the financial investment as well.
When someone ASKED for an opinion about something, my mother, if she did not like it would always say "well, it is not my taste, but, if you like it that's what is important".
HaHa! My Mom said the exact same thing. But in her case, I always knew she really thought her "taste" was somehow superior!
There are so many posts here along the lines of "I have one bathroom for 5 people, no one needs more than that" and "I dislike open floor plans, no one should have them" and "I don't entertain, so it's unreasonable for someone to want enough space in their home for guests" and "I like my older kitchen with formica and oak a cabinets so no one should have cherry and granite" and so on and so on.
Is it really so threatening that others have different tastes and preferences? Just because someone likes a different style doesn't mean your style is wrong, just different.
And if people say they feel insulted if someone says "I'd never live in a house with one bathroom" - guess what, if saying something different from what you have is an insult, then you are insulting people too, when you say things like "no one should ever replace oak cabinets with something else."
Personally, I think it's great that there are all different types of houses, and different styles of finishes. Just like furniture, people do not have to like the same things and that's ok.
Why not be respectful of other people's choices instead being so negative and mocking of them?
You basically described the prevailing "HGTV" inspired house.
Some of us feel that it's being shoved down our throats by media and big box stores, and we are reacting to that.
I did not hear you complaining about people who want to gut every house they see because they want an "open concept" floor plan. Or the many posters who despise older homes with character.
People do feel passionately about older homes and preserving them for future generations.
I have actually encountered people who think that I live in an older 1920s home because I can't afford a newer house.
This is nonsense. I've wanted to own an older home all of my life. I did own a Faux Victorian with the exact kitchen that you describe. It was more my husband's choice. However, at the time, so many of my contemporaries were building and buying them. I went along with it.
I love older architecture and I'm pretty passionate about it. However, I would never tell another person that they needed to add some character or some whimsey to their homes.
However, HGTV and mainstream decorating tells me that I need granite counter tops and vinyl siding. Oh, and an open concept floor plan.
I think people with strong opinions post on these forums, including the home forums. People who post here have preferences about homes, and sometimes some of them become emphatic.
I too think it is a shame when people feel that their point of view is best, no matter what. I mean it is a free country and we are lucky to have the choices we have in housing. And that's the key point--we have choices.
Not all choices are neutral. Choosing to have five bathrooms and five thousand square feet for five people and an hour long driving commute has a direct impact on my world through massive over consumption of resources, leading to more pollution, more global warming and a worse life for the rest of us.
People's tastes also affect the housing stock available. If you prefer a closed off kitchen it must get mighty frustrating not to be able to find a move in ready house that has one. I get annoyed house shopping by the difficulty of finding a four bedroom house with only two bathrooms. Even just closing the door and never using it doesn't mean you don't have to clean it. Baths in every bathroom drive me crazy, too. They're not proper bathtubs anyway, and are such a pain to clean. Have a shallow one in the most central bathroom for kids, a soaker in the biggest bathroom, and give everyone else a shower if you absolutely have to have more bathrooms.
There are so many posts here along the lines of "I have one bathroom for 5 people, no one needs more than that" and "I dislike open floor plans, no one should have them" and "I don't entertain, so it's unreasonable for someone to want enough space in their home for guests" and "I like my older kitchen with formica and oak a cabinets so no one should have cherry and granite" and so on and so on.
Is it really so threatening that others have different tastes and preferences? Just because someone likes a different style doesn't mean your style is wrong, just different.
And if people say they feel insulted if someone says "I'd never live in a house with one bathroom" - guess what, if saying something different from what you have is an insult, then you are insulting people too, when you say things like "no one should ever replace oak cabinets with something else."
Personally, I think it's great that there are all different types of houses, and different styles of finishes. Just like furniture, people do not have to like the same things and that's ok.
Why not be respectful of other people's choices instead being so negative and mocking of them?
Give me a very large break.
What it sounds like is that you are intolerant of other people's opinions on housing choices that differ from yours.
"No one needs more than one bathroom for 5 people?"..."No one should have open floor plans?"..."No one should have cherry or oak cabinets?"...Really? "So many" posters said that? Or did they offer their own views that, perhaps, they have no interest in changing what suits them? How about providing examples of so many posters saying that no one should decorate or renovate a particular way.
We'll (I and the 200+ people who viewed, but chose not to respond to, this thread) be waiting.
Emotionally attached to a house? Well, I do love my little farmhouse, but it's still just a place to keep my stuff. It would be nice to have a second bathroom when the kids visit, and the population of the farmhouse rises from 2 to 7...
I've seen these types of posts ("Who needs more than 2 bathrooms!!") on various forums. They cause me to put on my rhetorical filters...my favorite being, "That's just the way this person was brought up to speak."
What they are really saying is, "I don't need more than 2 bathrooms, and even if I did, I couldn't afford them/wouldn't want to take care of them."
That's all it is...personal opinion.
My pet peeve about housing is slightly different...that large numbers of people apparently all want "the same thing" in a house, which leads to every available newer house looking like a larger or smaller version of the last one I looked at. Particularly annoying since the popular taste rarely coincides with mine...but at least I'm honest with myself that it's just my personal taste being offended, and not something wrong with the state of the civilized world, LOL.
One thing that almost all people want is a good looking house; both inside and outside.
Take it as you may.
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needs more than one bathroom for 5 people?"..."No one
