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Location: When things get hot they expand. Im not fat. Im hot.
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Not sure how close your garage is to your house. I managed to get rid of the GD groundhogs trying to build condos under my barn by poking used cat litter down all their holes. I have a few cats so I have a steady supply of cat brownies. It took about a month to get rid of them and they haven't been back.
You can try to trap the enormous groundhogs, or otherwise eliminate the ones that come on your property. Before trapping them, check whether it is legal to relocate wildlife in your area (and realize that relocation is generally a death sentence).
If you can shoot them, don't go for the cheapest airgun in the local big box store and expect to get a quick and humane kill on these tough little pests.
I'm guessing you don't have a dog or want one? Cat? I don't know anything about groundhogs, but can you plant something they hate? Or sprinkle something around? They have some kind of motion-activated things that spray water. I just googled groundhog repellent and apparently there are some things, so give it a try and see if anything is affordable/doable for you.
... their next suggestion was that I shoot it. Since I don't own a gun and have never fired one, that's out. In the long run, it will ultimately be cheaper to install buried groundhog barrier (steel bars) than hire a trapper at $500 for 5 days. He might trap THIS groundhog, but what if there's another one later on (which is very likely.) ...
Basically it's tough luck - this is the boonies.
*SINCE YOU SAY YOU ARE RURAL*
There are plenty of women who hunt and use guns. Did you know that most farmers and people who live in the country use guns to control critters or varmints?
For your safety above all and for a fun time on the porch, get a .22 rifle and setup some cans near that yard and target shot. My grandfather had a .22 rifle just inside his back porch door. He would shot crows and rats that would forage in his vegetable gardens.
Our American government simply does not have enough tax revenue to control varmint populations in the city much less rural property. It's an unspoken truth that we the people must do our part to maintain our land and no one should fault you for it.
I'm kind of surprised you don't have one, since you say you live "in the boonies".
I grew up in a rural area, so I also grew up learning how to shoot a .22 pretty early in life. Whenever we had "varmints", my dad, or my mom, or myself, would take the .22 and eliminate the problem. This worked on raccoons, woodchucks, muskrats, skunks, etc. (Be prepared for a fragrant yard if you shoot a skunk - if they are out dayside, they are probably rabid, so better a fragrant yard with dead skunk, though, than a live skunk).
You might try calling the Health Department. A "falling down wreck" sounds like a health hazard.
Did you really complain about your neighbor not mowing her back yard? That's not going to help your credibility with the county.
Yup, I called the Health Department about the abandoned house; they don't care. The owner is indigent and can't afford to clean up the property, so the county won't pay for it either.
As far as complaining about my neighbor not mowing her back yard, I asked the Zoning Department (without identifying myself, btw) about their oversight, if any, of a property where the back yard has not been mowed in over 3 YEARS. I'm tolerant, but even I think that's just a bit too much. The weeds there are over 7 feet tall. That's going to hurt MY credibility? Sheesh!
Oh, and BTW, the county zoning department said they don't care.
If it's abandoned, why hasn't it been sold for taxes, or foreclosed on? You don't pay your property taxes and things usually start happening...
The owner inherited the house from her late mother, free and clear, and I'm sue can at least afford to pay the low property taxes here on her monthly SSDI income (one month's SSDI will pay the annual taxes.) Now that she is living with a friend at the local trailer park, she's actually in better financial shape. The electricity and water to the house have been disconnected, so no bills there. I have no idea why she just doesn't sell the property, as 1.5 acres with sewer/water in our community would bring good money, but I suspect she holds onto the house, dilapidated as it is, because it was her and her Mom's home.
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