Out of control sibling wanting to fix elderly dad's house...WTF (vacuum, stove)
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I would say hell no to this project as well. Like you said, these improvements will be a waste of money when it comes time to sell if the buyer plans to rip it all out to renovate. It's not going to add value to the house if it is in such disrepair.
What I would be willing to do is begin to help dad clear out some of his unwanted and unneeded belongings if he has a lot of this so that not too much is left after he passes. If he is agreeable to it, this would be both helpful to dad and his kids. Dad's place would be cleaner, more organized, more spacious with items gone and his kids are working on something that will need to be done eventually anyway. Your sister can make some little improvements to make him more comfortable. New bedding, a deep clean of the place, new area rug, those are some things could spruce his place up a bit without all of the hassle, mess, and cost that your sister is proposing to do.
I would say hell no to this project as well. Like you said, these improvements will be a waste of money when it comes time to sell if the buyer plans to rip it all out to renovate. It's not going to add value to the house if it is in such disrepair.
What I would be willing to do is begin to help dad clear out some of his unwanted and unneeded belongings if he has a lot of this so that not too much is left after he passes. If he is agreeable to it, this would be both helpful to dad and his kids. Dad's place would be cleaner, more organized, more spacious with items gone and his kids are working on something that will need to be done eventually anyway. Your sister can make some little improvements to make him more comfortable. New bedding, a deep clean of the place, new area rug, those are some things could spruce his place up a bit without all of the hassle, mess, and cost that your sister is proposing to do.
I promise im not trying to be nasty. But honestly, POSSIBLY improving a mans life in the last years of it is worth more than potential resale. and youre not only saying no to the project but now also telling an almost 90 year old mostly immobile man to start ridding himself of his belongings to prepare for death??
OP I know it seems like a logistical nightmare, it is. But that doesnt mean impossible. I work in construction too as does my husband and weve done a lot of reno on our house and repainting a living room does not take a week, it takes a weekend at most. And that can be done with him in the room. Low VOC paint has almost no odor and the most expensive one sold at lowes (i cant remember the name) covers ANYTHING in 2 coats, no Kilz necessary.
The flooring will take a single day, 2 at most. This he would have to be out of the room for, but if the only obstacle to moving furniture is that chair, move it from one side to the other. The floor people can and will work around it. While they are working in there, have dad hang out in his bedroom, you CAN move the TV. Its 1 to 2 days. Then you move the stuff back in and his routine goes back to normal.
I'm assuming I know the answers here, but is your sister capable of handling all this herself? I mean, this is her grand idea. I get the sense that your annoyance here is that all these details are not even on her radar, and when the sh*t hits the fan, you're the one who is going to have to clean up the messes, literally and figuratively. And she will flit back to her home far away, either blissfully unaware or rationalizing that somehow anything that went wrong is your fault.
I'm assuming I know the answers here, but is your sister capable of handling all this herself? I mean, this is her grand idea. I get the sense that your annoyance here is that all these details are not even on her radar, and when the sh*t hits the fan, you're the one who is going to have to clean up the messes, literally and figuratively. And she will flit back to her home far away, either blissfully unaware or ra⁶tionalizing that somehow anything that went wrong is your fault.
telling an almost 90 year old mostly immobile man to start ridding himself of his belongings to prepare for death?? .
It can be extremely time consuming, costly, stressful, and exhausting clearing out someone's house that has not gotten rid of much over the decades. I'm sure OP wouldn't tell dad to do this, but ask him. Dad may not even have that much so it's not a big deal, but if he does, it's something to think about. Dad may be fine with it.
You are/were a professional in the construction industry and what you have done over the years to improve the surroundings of your father who sounds like a shut-in is painting a room. Plus you begrudge him his choice of soda.
It can be extremely time consuming, costly, stressful, and exhausting clearing out someone's house that has not gotten rid of much over the decades. I'm sure OP wouldn't tell dad to do this, but ask him. Dad may not even have that much so it's not a big deal, but if he does, it's something to think about. Dad may be fine with it.
My mom passed in 1985.... there is nothing of value here. It's order a dumpster and fill it with what is not mine.
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