Southern Hospitality is overrated/other things on my mind (Houston: living, relocate)

[matt g]

Texas isn't the only place that has nice people. In Pennsylvania, Florida, even New York and New Jersey, there are polite people who will hold the door for you and help you if there's a snowstorm and you're stuck in a ditch and you don't want to get a DUI. In other states, there's more of that bubble that dictates that "I'll be polite to you, but if I don't know you, I don't want you in my business and vice-versa." Texas doesn't have that bubble, and people are more interpersonally involved, but it's not that much more. I didn't get approached or greeted by any strangers in the supermarket or the park. The first week I spent near Houston, there was a lady with a child who made conversation with another lady, at HEB. But I haven't really seen too much of that.

Also, if you relocate for a job, and people find out, they're shocked and ask in a friendly manner for an explanation. You'll be talking, and they notice that you don't have a drawl, and they'll ask you where you're from. You'll say "Florida" or "New York" or "Indiana" or whatever, and their eyes will get wide like a housecat hearing a vacuum cleaner. If you're in New York and you tell someone you're from California, they'll just be like "Oh, that's cool."

I'm working on a contract which is up in under a year, and until then, I'm just going to "take it on the chin" like my dad says. The people are nice and everything, but it's not where I want to live permanently

[jfre81]

Fair enough.

Where are you living? It's funny - here in and around the Inner Loop, a "drawl" as you describe it pretty much gives you away as someone from outside the city. Texas maybe, but not inner Houston. I hear "drawls" no more than I hear people speaking Vietnamese.

[BobTex]

Originally Posted by matt g

Texas isn't the only place that has nice people. In Pennsylvania, Florida, even New York and New Jersey, there are polite people who will hold the door for you and help you if there's a snowstorm and you're stuck in a ditch and you don't want to get a DUI. In other states, there's more of that bubble that dictates that "I'll be polite to you, but if I don't know you, I don't want you in my business and vice-versa." Texas doesn't have that bubble, and people are more interpersonally involved, but it's not that much more. I didn't get approached or greeted by any strangers in the supermarket or the park. The first week I spent near Houston, there was a lady with a child who made conversation with another lady, at HEB. But I haven't really seen too much of that.

Also, if you relocate for a job, and people find out, they're shocked and ask in a friendly manner for an explanation. You'll be talking, and they notice that you don't have a drawl, and they'll ask you where you're from. You'll say "Florida" or "New York" or "Indiana" or whatever, and their eyes will get wide like a housecat hearing a vacuum cleaner. If you're in New York and you tell someone you're from California, they'll just be like "Oh, that's cool."

I'm working on a contract which is up in under a year, and until then, I'm just going to "take it on the chin" like my dad says. The people are nice and everything, but it's not where I want to live permanently

Sounds to me you're not the right fit for here! Too bad! Youi sound bright and Texas needs bright folks here to help her thrive. I lived in the northeast for 2 years and discovered it wasn't for me. That bubble you spoke of they have up there extended to every part of their life ... and it was there 24/7! No one smiled at you or acknowleged you positively in any way ... a shameful way to act!


I have hung out on some of the "northern' (really northeastern) boards and listened to folks saying how friendly their state/area is and used the same example you did about pulling someone out of a snowbank or ditch. WOW ... when did doing the right and civil thing start being interpreted as being friendly???? Or opening a door for someone ... that's not friendly, its having proper manners. I don't think you know what friendly is ... really.

Friendly is taking the "edge" off of someone by presenting a warm and non threatening personna. Its smiling at someone with your eyes and not just your mouth ... in an elevator, passing in a hallway or a sidewalk. Its waving at someone you pass on a road even though you don't know them. Its giving someone a compliment for no reason other than you want to make them feel better. Do I need to go on????

Friendly is ... well, friendly! Its not being polite or civil but its being warm and having a wholesome love for your fellow man. Guess you gotta know what it is to be it! Gotta know how to recieve it too, gotta let your guard down some (That bubble). It won't hurt ... what can it hurt if you're secure in your ownself?

Good luck and God bless!

[desertsun41]

New York and New Jersey polite and friendly?

Come on now I do believe you are telling a little fib.

This is not even a matter of my opinion. It is a pretty well known fact. Geez even NYers will admit this.

I have to say Texans are some of the most friendly people. I go quite often and complete strangers make me feel quite at home.

The further you get from the big city the more friendly too. Our place is well outside Houston and I just love the country folk.

[studiobtm]

Yes there are friendly people in NJ and NY.... At last count there were ... 3

Aw just kidding (mostly). But having lived on the East Coast I'll take the South anytime.

[mpope409]

Originally Posted by matt g

Texas isn't the only place that has nice people. In Pennsylvania, Florida, even New York and New Jersey, there are polite people who will hold the door for you and help you if there's a snowstorm and you're stuck in a ditch and you don't want to get a DUI. In other states, there's more of that bubble that dictates that "I'll be polite to you, but if I don't know you, I don't want you in my business and vice-versa." Texas doesn't have that bubble, and people are more interpersonally involved, but it's not that much more. I didn't get approached or greeted by any strangers in the supermarket or the park. The first week I spent near Houston, there was a lady with a child who made conversation with another lady, at HEB. But I haven't really seen too much of that.

Also, if you relocate for a job, and people find out, they're shocked and ask in a friendly manner for an explanation. You'll be talking, and they notice that you don't have a drawl, and they'll ask you where you're from. You'll say "Florida" or "New York" or "Indiana" or whatever, and their eyes will get wide like a housecat hearing a vacuum cleaner. If you're in New York and you tell someone you're from California, they'll just be like "Oh, that's cool."

I'm working on a contract which is up in under a year, and until then, I'm just going to "take it on the chin" like my dad says. The people are nice and everything, but it's not where I want to live permanently

Southern hospitality is a stereotype. There are nice and mean people all over this country.

[TexasReb]

Originally Posted by mpope409

Southern hospitality is a stereotype. There are nice and mean people all over this country.

It is true that there are nice and mean people everywhere, but stereotypes (concerning whatever) have a strong root in reality and personal experience and do not just spring into existence.

Sure, Southern hospitality is a stereotype, of sorts. But that doesn't translate into it being a myth. I hasten to add that I am NOT suggesting you are saying it is, but just to make an observation on the topic.

In cultural sociological studies and survey's, when people from different regions are asked to give their impressions, etc., of those from others, as well as how they view themselves, one of the consistent things that comes up is that Southerners (which includes Texas and Texans) are "friendly" and "hospitable."

Where the problems in translation come into play sometime, again according to several studies, is whether or not certain "traits" and "characteristics" will be considered "positive" or "negative". For instance, many northeasterners, as I recall, percieved themselves to have the quality of being "frank and outspoken." However, to many Southerners, this could be interpretted as being "rude and obnoxious." And being a native Texan and Southerner, I see it myself. (I won't BS about where my sympathies are! ). But on the other hand, while those of us in the South see ourselves as "easy going and relaxed"...northerners may see the same trait as being "slow and lazy."

Anyway, just a little input here!

[mpope409]

Originally Posted by TexasReb

It is true that there are nice and mean people everywhere, but stereotypes (concerning whatever) have a strong root in reality and personal experience and do not just spring into existence.

Sure, Southern hospitality is a stereotype, of sorts. But that doesn't translate into it being a myth. I hasten to add that I am NOT suggesting you are saying it is, but just to make an observation on the topic.

In cultural sociological studies and survey's, when people from different regions are asked to give their impressions, etc., of those from others, as well as how they view themselves, one of the consistent things that comes up is that Southerners (which includes Texas and Texans) are "friendly" and "hospitable."

Where the problems in translation come into play sometime, again according to several studies, is whether or not certain "traits" and "characteristics" will be considered "positive" or "negative". For instance, many northeasterners, as I recall, percieved themselves to have the quality of being "frank and outspoken." However, to many Southerners, this could be interpretted as being "rude and obnoxious." And being a native Texan and Southerner, I see it myself. (I won't BS about where my sympathies are! ). But on the other hand, while those of us in the South see ourselves as "easy going and relaxed"...northerners may see the same trait as being "slow and lazy."

Anyway, just a little input here!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[SkyeAnjel]

Everything is in interpretation. You mentioned that when you say you are here from..whatever state, people here are waiting for an explanation, well, they are likely just trying to be friendly and strike up a conversation. Most people don't care why you moved from one place or another. They are trying to find a bond and something to talk about. Maybe oyu are taking what they are saying to personnally.
As someone else says, there are nice people everywhere, as well as rude.
Even if this is not your state of choice to live in, I hope you have a much better experience for the year that you are here.

[TheDeep]

Originally Posted by desertsun41

New York and New Jersey polite and friendly?

Come on now I do believe you are telling a little fib.

+1. NY/NJ people are the rudest sonsofbytches in America.