Are Texans Fake? (Houston, Dallas, Texarkana: apartments, lease, how much)

[garxhap]

I have lived in Texas all my life except for a year on the West Coast, and I have visited at one time or another about half of the states in the Union.
One thing that really surprises me is how many times I have read someone comment on the City-Data forum that Southerners are friendly but it's fake. I say it surprises me because I really can't fathom what they mean by that.
I am thinking back now to remember all the times that people here in Texas have said something friendly to me, and it's really more times than I can possibly count. And I'm trying to thing back to the times that they really didn't mean it and for the life of me I can't think of any. Maybe it happened a time or two or even a few, but I can't say for sure. Because I sincerely can't think of any. That's why I think it's so strange to find people saying that friendliness in the south is just fakery.
I understand there are cultural differences between different parts of the country concerning how much conversation goes on between complete strangers. What I don't understand, though, is if someone is from a part of the country where people like to be pleasant to total strangers, how does that make them fake? Can someone smarter than I am please explain this to me?

[texas7]

Probably means not all Southerners - just some Southerners and that sort of fake happens everywhere in every city/state.

[Topaz]

I think this might be just an excuse that people from other parts of the country use to excuse that they are NOT friendly to strangers. The love to say that Texans and other Southerners are fake while their own indifference or rudeness to strangers is somehow so authentic and "real."

Someone on the Seattle board said he doesn't want to say, "Hello," to a stranger on the street because he could care less if that same person gets hit by a truck and dies later that day. Lovely. Great sense of community there (NOT!).

[professorsenator]

Originally Posted by Topaz

I think this might be just an excuse that people from other parts of the country use to excuse that they are NOT friendly to strangers

I lived in Texas for over 20 years. People there are very outwardly friendly, but, yes, I agree that it is often (though certainly not always) insincere. That is, there is an ethos in Texas that one should be very friendly and personable, even to people you don't know, to those who you may not care much about, and perhaps even those you may quietly despise. There is an accepted social more that to not be very friendly is considered rude.

This custom has advantages--it's warm and welcoming to newcomers (or at least appears to be), for example. But such overt friendliness must be taken with a healthy shaker of salt.

[Rose Red]

I may be going off in another direction but why does it need to be labeled as southern people are fake. Are they "fake" because they acknowledge others and say hello? What's wrong with saying hello? Whether or not you know or care about that other person isn't it just simple courtesy?

[Supermac34]

All the fake Texans are in Dallas living in tiny apartments and driving leased BMWs or Mercedes.

[cjester]

Originally Posted by professorsenator

I lived in Texas for over 20 years. This custom has advantages--it's warm and welcoming to newcomers (or at least appears to be), for example. But such overt friendliness must be taken with a healthy shaker of salt.

I find Houstonians willing to engage in a conversation easier than many other places. For example, in SFco, Phila, or St louis; if one happens to say hello to a stranger or make a remark that elilcits an answer while waiting in line at the supermaket. One is very likely to get completely ignored, get an evil stare, get cursed, or have the police called on you.

On the other hand, Houston's attitude resembles that of India, Italy, S. E. Asia, and others. (except of course in Northern Europe where food sucks and where there is a high demand for psychologists). professorsenator, you have been up north tooo looong.

[simplyjuil]

I lived in west Texas most of my life, and upon moving to east Texas, have found Southerners, not just in Texas, to be pretty fake. I live in Texarkana, Tx, near the borders of Arkansas, Louisiana, and Oklahoma, and poeple in that vacinity seem to be fake.

[atxcio]

I think people are misunderstanding the difference between politeness and friendliness. Texans have both; but it's like this --

MOST Texans are polite - They will say hello, they will respond if you start a conversation. Not to do so would be considered rude here. But politeness doesn't necessarily mean someone is friendly. However, it does make everyday life more pleasant, IMO.

MANY Texans are also friendly - But not all. In this regard, we're not that different from northerners. Northerners can appear to be quite impolite, but are actually friendly and would help you in need. Many Texans are like that as well. Actual friendliness is a better quality than politeness -- it indicates a better character of person.

So I think the "fake" part comes from misinterpretation of politeness for friendliness. It's an easy mistake for people from the NE and west coast to make.

[TiltShift]

It's almost like Minnesota Nice. It's kinda fake on one level. I hold doors open for people all the time that I could care less for. I also say "Thank You" more than I probably ever should. HOWEVER, it's how we operate in Texas. I wouldn't call it fake. It's more of a social norm than anything.

Growing up here, I prefer the "fake" nice to the opposite. I view it as, on the most most basic level perhaps, an acknowlegement of "Hey, you're a person just like me. I'm going to treat you like one."