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Old 02-19-2010, 09:30 AM
 
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I agree with you Kim, the time is never right and there is never enough money, but it ends up worth it. However, we both work, so we would need daycare and later summer camp, so I am looking at major additional expenses. Daycare is like a second mortgage. This changes the equation a bit, for me.
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Old 02-19-2010, 09:43 AM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,169 posts, read 17,583,713 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by houston-nomad View Post
Not the usual C-D thread, but I'm trying to get my head around the idea of a third kid, which my dear spouse has just expressed a desire for. I'm trying to figure out if this will ruin us financially. I'm thinking, bigger car, possibly a bigger house, cost of schools/camps/sports... anyone here make the jump from two to three? Any thoughts?
Tell us why you needed the first kid and then the second kid? Now what would be the reason for a thrid? You'll be out numbered and they'll gang up against you. Can you afford it financially? It depends on the quality of life you want your children to have. Can you afford to have your wife be a stay at home mom?
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Old 02-19-2010, 09:43 AM
 
Location: The land of sugar... previously Houston and Austin
5,429 posts, read 14,773,562 times
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Originally Posted by descovy View Post
We did the jump from 2-3 in 2004... quite a surprise After the shock wore off we saw it would be extra work...
Talk about a shocker... we went from 1 to 3. Yep... #2 and 3 are twins. At one point, I had three kids under the age of 3! I had to leave my job... daycare for three that young is a lot as you can imagine. Now that the two youngest are about to be 3 years old, and my oldest is almost 5 and will be entering kindergarten, I will finally be going back to work.

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Originally Posted by descovy View Post
I cried the day we traded our spunky, fun to drive lil car in for a minivan I hated how "mommy-fied I felt, down to the vehicle I drive.
Me too. I had the cutest Passat that was my big purchase from my first job... paid in cash. Had to trade it for a minivan and take on a car note. Still had the 3 of them in the Passat for six months until we did the trade... squeezed in there!


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Originally Posted by descovy View Post
Other things... "family packs" are all built for (4) and having a family of 5 changes things...

Take out at a favorite italian restaurant (serves 4)

Disney World... forget the cheaper (Pop) hotels... have to get a deluxe. Many hotel rooms only sleep 4 (due to fire codes)

Kid eat free nights? Usually per adult meal. So 2 adults... only 2 kids eat free, still paying for #3

As mentioned earlier... furniture is built for 4, 6, or 8+. A family of 4 can get away with a small table (4 seater) and maybe extend to a six seater for guests. Once you are a family of 5, you want a 6-8seater table... more money... but larger space in the home required too!

Forget having a guest room in the house (if every child wants their own room) ... 5 br houses are hard to come by. We have a 4br house, when guests come, there is a hide-a-bed in the gameroom, or shuffling a guest into one of the kids' rooms. The old 3br home, that 4 of us comfortably lived in? Forgettaboutit!
The seating at restaurants, meal packs and such... that's probably one of the most annoying things! But I'm seeing more and more families with three kids it seems, so maybe we will have more choices later. We were fortunate to find a 5-bedroom house... you're right, they're not easy to come by. But they seem to be more common in new construction...
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Old 02-19-2010, 10:07 AM
 
2,536 posts, read 4,010,225 times
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Originally Posted by zonababe View Post
Tell us why you needed the first kid and then the second kid? Now what would be the reason for a thrid? You'll be out numbered and they'll gang up against you. Can you afford it financially? It depends on the quality of life you want your children to have. Can you afford to have your wife be a stay at home mom?
Our jobs are important to both of us. We also feel it's important for our kids to have the role model of a professional woman. So neither of us would stop working to stay home with the kids.

We didn't "need" the first or the second. We wanted them and love them, and think a third would add more love and joy to our lives. It's hard to make a balance sheet with money on one side and love and joy on the other. That's what makes this a difficult problem to solve.

Yes, they would outnumber us and certainly gang up on us!!!
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Old 02-19-2010, 10:09 AM
 
Location: WA
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We have 3 ages 11, 6, and 3. Number 3 was something of a surprise.

Extra work? What the 3rd kid does is extend the time period when childcare work is most intense--from ages 1-4. Doing the formula/diaper/constant supervision thing for a couple extra years is the big hit. Once kids hit about kindergarten age they are much more self-sufficient. When the kids get older and start sports and after-school activities then you are definitely running more places at once.

Housing? We have a 4 br but the little ones room together and we keep the 4th br as a guestroom. That may change as they get older. But now they like it.

Cars? Car seats are bulky and you will not fit 3 car seats across the back seat of any car. And if you have 2 car seats on the back seat of a car there won't be room for the 3rd kid. Back long ago when I was a kid my parents could pack all 3 of us kids into the back of any car. Not happening anymore with modern car seats. That basically means you need a vehicle with 3 rows of seats. Either a mini-van or SUV

Travel? When the kids are little it is no problem packing all 3 kids into a hotel room. Normally we get a double room, my wife and I take one bed, the two older kids take the second bed, and the little one sleeps on the floor in a Graco playpen. When the kids get older then you'll be getting two hotel rooms.

The costs of STUFF goes down with the 3rd kid because you already have most of the gear and clothes and by kid #3 you are getting much more efficient on spending money on clothes because you know what they'll wear and not wear. Especially if kid #3 is the same sex (we have 3 girls). However the costs of services do not go down. Daycare etc. costs keep going up. And having 3 or 3 kids in daycare or summer camp is a pretty big bite.
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Old 02-19-2010, 10:42 AM
 
730 posts, read 2,245,850 times
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I am currently pregnant with my 3rd. Older ones are 11 & 8. I am remarried and we decided to add one more. We will not be upsizing cars or our home, but instead making what we have work. It is the only way to afford childcare.

If any of us waited until we truly had enough money saved to raise a child- the population would be entirely made up of the elderly. We sacrifice, it is hard- but I have never heard ANYONE say they regret their child.
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Old 02-19-2010, 01:06 PM
 
93 posts, read 281,561 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NOEM1226 View Post
If any of us waited until we truly had enough money saved to raise a child- the population would be entirely made up of the elderly. We sacrifice, it is hard- but I have never heard ANYONE say they regret their child.
My dad says that about my sister and I all the time, mainly me, "If I never got drunk that one night and met your mother my life would be so much easier" And he's always telling me how I shouldn't get married until i'm at least 35 or so, to enjoy all these years while I can. I'm just like WELL THANKS DAD, LOVE YOU TOO.
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