Sick in Alabama (Mobile, Huntsville, Madison: relocation, real estate, house)

[Keeper]

Snowflower.. I think most ppl on the Huntsville forum understand better than most (been there, done that), about moving to a new place and just want to help you find a way to make life better for you and your family. Even the ppl at your husband's work are just trying to help make life better for you all. For many folks, they have to learn to like a place because that is where the job is.. good or bad How good would it be if you returned to the place you loved, with no job or a huge paycut? Just a thought

I know I have met my share of ppl who hated a place before they even stepped off the airplane. They hated it for the 2 years they had to stay, moved back to whence they came only to find out it wasn't as great as they remembered and wanted to return to the place they hated for 2 years. So my advice is.. look for the good, the bad will show up soon enough.

Hopefully you will find that place for both you and your family that will be good for you all.

Continue venting..

[kevin_1975]

Is it more of the fact that you just do not like the south?

This would help us to understand your situation more. Some places are just not for everyone.

[FlourChild]

Originally Posted by SnowFlower

Thanks for your input.

My husband knew that I felt this way before he even took the position. Heck.. he knew 16 years ago when we first got married that I was not willing to live out this way ever again...

I have lived in this neck of the USA before.. Not AL per say, but the there abouts and I swore to myself because of the health issues I went through then that I would never do it again... Now it isnt just me... My kids are going through the same things... I just had my son in urgent care the other night... You know what you may not understand the desperation I have in making sure my kids dont go through what I did growing up, but I will be darned if I lay down and let that happen...

Regardless... My husband knew this when we were married... so it is somthing he has got to take on by bringing us here... I dont vent outloud in the home to him... I just vent on here... It is a safe place to do it... regardless of the stupidity that may come from others who are to ignorant to understand the tirals of ths situation.

I do appreciate from others though the honesty as well as the genuine attempt for solutions to this weather it be emotionaly or physically.

It is funny though in an ironic sort of way... I think that if those that are responding by saying that I should basicaly get over it and used to it here.... had to live where they hated it totally.... I think they to would be "venting" about it each and every day as well.... So unless you have been there ... Well you know the rest.

Take care

Although I'm not dealing with health issues, I do understand how you feel. Ironically, I was happy in HUNTSVILLE, and loathe where we are now (Albany, Georgia, which is essentially the armpit of the world). I know how it feels to want OUT, desperately. And I agree somewhat with the idea that our attitudes make a big difference; I get noticeably more miserable when I concentrate on how miserable I am and how much this town sucks.

I'm trying to have a good attitude, to enjoy what little is here while we're here, and to get out as quickly and nicely as possible. I can tell you from experience: focusing on our anguish only intensifies it. I'm currently dealing with depression and a real aversion to leaving the house. Please don't let this happen to you. Do what you have to do, but try to keep this from being a traumatic event for your kids. (Mine are what keep me from barricading myself in the house 24/7.)

There is some humor in the fact that you're begging to get out of Huntsville--and I want back IN.

[SnowFlower]

Its the climate of the South ... The Hot Humid and ickafying climate of the South and Eastern states that I cant stand... Not the state itself...

It is the humidity that intensifies my asthma problems and the pollens and such that cause the allergy issues... I have a weak immune as it is ... I dont need to be where it is worse.. You know...

We dont own a home here we rent.. Our rent for the 4 bed ( one of which isnt tech a bd.. it is an attic room ) house that we rent is $1950 a month without utilities.. and that is more then we paid in Alaska by 400 a month...

I am not saying that rent will be cheaper anywhere else... I am not even trying to say that we wont find ourselves paying more somewhere else... I am just pointing out the cost of our rent...

With that being said .. we took a paycut coming here all be it we had been laid of back home in alaska... Our pay was $35,000 more in alaska then it was coming here and now we are barely making it with the bills as they are more then back home and we hardly were making it there.

I homeschool my 5 kids and so that means with the lack of income.. the less they can do with other homeschoolers..

We have one vehicle as we cant afford two and my husband needs it for work, so I have to stay home and hope that when he arrives home I will be allowed to go somwhere even if it is to the store for a minute or two... as we cant afford the gas.

There isnt public transportation so I dont have that option and there are no side walks leading to town safely so I cant walk the 3.5 driving miles it would take to get there without concern of my kids walking with me that far..

See even though you only get a little bit of the issues of venting from weather it is me or anyone else on here ... there useally is more then meets the eye going on behind the door...
And for obvious reasons I wont go into more of what is back here behind the door...
But that is what these forums are for... venting, talking, information, maybe even advice....

I am not only stuck in an area that I hate and am misserably sick in every day and night, but I am stuck in my own home and that makes it harder then you may even begin to imagine...

So though I know some of these ppl mean well ... remember the purpose of these forums and use some edicate when responding...

Thanks again to those who are polite and considerate..

It isnt the ppl here in this state.... that I have an issue with... I think for the most part the people have been great.

It is the location... the climate...

Take care

[Threestep]

You cannot change location or climate of Huntsville.
Why does your husband not carpool occasionally or if your kids are old enough - you drive hin in and he catches a ride home?

[NicoleC]

If you are paying $1950 for a 4 bedroom house, I am sorry to you are paying way too much for your current income level. There are plenty of nice homes in the HSV area that rent cheaper than that.

[SnowFlower]

Well considering we have 4 dogs 5 kids and 1 cat ... we couldnt find a lot that would rent to us for anything less... We found rentals that would cost more then what we are paying as a matter of fact...

I do agree however.. we are paying way to much with the income that we have right now.

As for driving my husband in... He wont let me... He says it is a waste of gas.. I suppose he is right... I was driving him in when we first got here.

Now though he isnt real fond of me taking him in and using the vehicle to go anywhere while he is at work as it will cost extra in gas that way.

Things are never simple when the cost of living and family size out weighs the salary income.

[DvlsAdvc8]

Heheh, conversely, I would ask, who the h*ll would want to live in Alaska? j/k

However, it isn't "a pay cut" when one gets a job after being laid off. It's a pay increase from $0.

How long have you been in AL now?

4 dogs and 1 cat? Perhaps its time to trim the family back a bit? A lot of what you are describing is simply the pain of having a large drop in income. That and paying too high a rent are completely independent of where one lives.

Your hubby can carpool, so there goes that problem.

IMO, your largest issue is comparing two points in time rather than living for the present. You were happy, things in your life changed, and now you cannot be happy because you can't keep from comparing everything to your memories of "better" times. It's all relative.

Live for, and find things to appreciate and be happy about - focusing on the negative will only compound your situation. There are things to dislike about Alaska, there are things to dislike about Alabama - wherever you go, there will be things you like and dislike and nowhere has all of the good things (despite some people's desire to delude themselves).

Rent a new place, get hubby to carpool, and let go of what is gone. You'll be surprised how quickly you'll find happiness again when you manage to let go of the baggage.

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I speak from experience. I'm a bonafide Yankee busy body. I loathed the south for everything I thought it to be... then one day, due to circumstances I was forced to move to Mississippi. I hated it and hated it and hated it... and someone said something to me that stuck: "You'll never like it. You're too busy not liking it to find anything to like." At first I thought it was a dumb comment. As it turned out, this was really true... I was so busy differentiating myself from everything "southern" that if it was different from what I knew in the northeast, I automatically dismissed it. Nothing ever had a chance. A couple years later I returned to the northeast and discovered something else - when people attacked my nowhere little town, I felt the need to defend. When something didn't go the way I would expect in the south, I was put off... at every turn the years I spent idolizing my "home" had turned it into some fictitious place in my mind with no semblance to the truth. I had an epiphany when I was introduced and spoken of as "the southern guy" while I was there. This would have made me hurl in the past, but I knew something they didn't. I knew the truth about both places. The perfection of my memories was wiped away. There really is truth to the saying "you can never go home again." It really is never the same. I learned the trick is to be happy with wherever you are and whatever you have (the later came in handy when my family was hit by hurricane Katrina - we lost everything).

The day I finally gave things in the south an honest chance changed the world for me. Sure, I still can't stand the humidity and mosquitos, but no more than I hated the ice and snow up north (shoveling snow several times a year? driving in it? ugh). Things I liked began creeping up here and there - a slower pace of life, sweet tea, lower cost of living (for me anyway). I also learned that people are people - there will be some types you don't like wherever you go. In the south for me, its the rednecks and bible thumpers, in the north its a different kind of redneck (but redneck nontheless), and self-important people (or hyper ambitious; the rat race, "I have more letters behind my name than you, ha ha" types).

It's not better or worse, its different. You will make of it what you will. I hope your transition is easier than mine was. It all starts with accepting what is now. Personally, I think you'll even find your health improves. A great deal of illness is often psychosomatic when one is depressed and bitter.

Good luck to you. You have your family, and home is where ever they happen to be... at least that's my 2 cents.

[penelopelp]

Snowflower, I'm glad you found a church where you can get some support. I do understand what it is like in a place that is not a good fit. I lived in Ohio for 9 years. I don't like the cold, gray cloudy days, and I hated that the air wasn't clear. I made the most of those 9 years; however, as soon as we could, I lobbied to move.

I love Huntsville. It is my hometown, so I have a great fondness for it. Over the years, I have known people who moved there, and it just wasn't a good fit for them. I know a couple of people from the West who couldn't handle the humidity.

I agree that you should get some air filters, if you don't already have them. The HEPA filters will help a lot. I also suggest a vacuum with an HEPA filter. If you are having a problem with mold growth in your home, you could get a dehumidifier.

I still suggest an allergist. When I was in Florida, I developed a terrible asthma problem. I found an allergist who literally saved my life. He got me on Prednisone, and Asthmacort, and allergy shots. Make sure that you don't have a sinus infection, because that could exacerbate the problem. I had to have sinus surgeries when I moved to Ohio. Again, the surgeries ended up making my life a whole lot more pleasant. Huntsville actually has some really good doctors.

[VMH2507]

I have to wonder when the OP talks about how much she hates the humidity in Huntsville when as far as humidity is concerned this is probably the best time of year for humidity levels. Unless she is talking anticipation of the humidity level in a month or so............ I lived for 30 years in Houston and 2 years in New Orleans as well as temporary assignments in Orlando. Huntsville humidity is so much lower than any of these places.