A Law about Teens in Malls (dates, teenagers, bridge)

[ionlife]

Originally Posted by MelanieJJones

Okay, not to say I agree or disagree, just to be the devils advocate. What social activities do you think teens can do by themselves? If they can have a job and drive a car, some start college at 17 and have children, is it not logical that they are old enough to go to movie with friends or shop at the mall. My children are only 5 & 6, so they have never been anywhere without me. However when I was growing up I was quite independent. Had the latchkey kid thing going in the 80's and graduated at 17 with a full time job and my own apartment. It seems odd that we expect kids to be on their own at 18, maybe in the middle of a war zone. However, right till then we are going to hold their hands and then just throw them out there. Is there not a need for some transitional period? I thought that was the purpose of the teenage years, to slowly prepare them for life in the real world on their own. It seems like a couple of hours alone at a movie theater, or shopping with girlfriends is a better alternative than many others I can think of. JMO

Exactly! They are learning to be adults in a controlled situation. But the parents who just willy nilly drop off their kids at the mall and allow them to roam for HOURS with time on their hands and no supervison were abusing that transitional period. It's about a balanced transition where trust is earned and teens learn to navigate the world -- if they take a wrong turn or make a bad choice, if we are hovering in the background watching them--we can set them on the right path again and help them to learn how to make responsible decisions when they are on their own.

Mine is in the car, at school or in dance/theater/busy with LIFE so much that she rarely gets "free" time to the extent that these teens had in Madison Square Mall.

A curfew is a good thing--but I was only worried that the policy was a law and that time was a bit early (5pm seemed excessively early to me). I did speak to a council member today and he confirmed the rules for me. I'll post them in a separate post.

I do not believe I know everything about my teen's life, but I do know her. We have good relationship and she doesn't have to keep secrets from me for fear of my reactions. It's open. I am not a lax parent who doesn't discipline, but I am a flexible parent with a plan. Positive discipline, how to talk so your kids will listen, how to listen so your kids will talk to you kind of parenting is my style and so far we've had nothing but a stellar girl who is well liked by her peers and adults in school/camps/neighborhood.

[ionlife]

The rules:

Council Member from Madison City spoke to me today about another matter and I took the opportunity to ask him what the deal was re: the curfew.

Madison Square Mall has a curfew due to the events discussed in the threat. It is not a law that the city put into place. The other malls also have their own rules. I asked if I could take my daughter (14) and a few friends to the theater, drop off and let them watch a movie (age appropriate), and then pick up afterward. Or go for a walk around the Bridges while they ate popcorn... whatever... any rate, he said that was okay. I need to review the posting by Hville Mike(thanks for that!) and check the rules.

He said gangs/groups of kids from the different highschools were hanging out and causing all kinds of problems at MSMall. That is why that rule was in effect. Actually, as I stated before on the forum, and today to this man--I'd never let my daughter go there with a friend to shop. Too too creepy.

So I guess that's the question answered. Yay!

[harry chickpea]

cglover, I appreciate your position, your caring, and your measured response. If only more parents had that attitude...

[vakinderegg]

We lived in Springfield , VA and the Springfield Mall was the last stop on the Metro Line. Teenagers from all over Northern VA, Washington DC, and Maryland would hang out there. This mall had a reputation of being the most dangerous mall in Northern , VA where the gang MS13 would recruit teenagers. This mall was in an area where there were people who had lovely homes in Kingstown, Springfield, Alexandria, and Burke. A police officer told my friend who is a principal in Fairfax County that this mall is one of the most dangerous places in Fairfax County. If there was a curfew law in Fairfax County then shopping malls can be turned back to a place to shop rather than a potential problem for teenagers and those who prey on the vulnerability of teenagers. I was a teacher in Fairfax and my students were eager to tell me all about what went on at the mall including Pentagon City.I have a 4 year old, but when she becomes a teenager she will not be allowed to go to the mall at night with her friends.My husband and I really like the curfew law. Movies should allow teenagers to go with friends alone. This is a safe place where friends can get together and have group dates.

[Keeper]

I think it happens in more places than we realize. In St. Pete, parents were dropping the preteens at a place similar to BridgeStreet after dark for hours. It wasn't as much about getting into fights although that did happen with older teens but the younger ones were running through the place knocking folks down and cussing like sailors. If you can believe it, the parents of the teens were outraged when there dear little brats were detained.

[PSMadison]

Madison Sq Mall in particular would seem to be between a rock and a hard place. It seems a large number of their stores now cater to teens, and yet their target market is now virtually excluded during their likely free time.

[ionlife]

Originally Posted by vakinderegg

We lived in Springfield , VA and the Springfield Mall was the last stop on the Metro Line. Teenagers from all over Northern VA, Washington DC, and Maryland would hang out there. This mall had a reputation of being the most dangerous mall in Northern , VA where the gang MS13 would recruit teenagers. This mall was in an area where there were people who had lovely homes in Kingstown, Springfield, Alexandria, and Burke. A police officer told my friend who is a principal in Fairfax County that this mall is one of the most dangerous places in Fairfax County. If there was a curfew law in Fairfax County then shopping malls can be turned back to a place to shop rather than a potential problem for teenagers and those who prey on the vulnerability of teenagers. I was a teacher in Fairfax and my students were eager to tell me all about what went on at the mall including Pentagon City.I have a 4 year old, but when she becomes a teenager she will not be allowed to go to the mall at night with her friends.My husband and I really like the curfew law. Movies should allow teenagers to go with friends alone. This is a safe place where friends can get together and have group dates.

9 years ago when I went to Springfield Mall I was so creeped out I swore I'd never go back! I agree it is a dangerous spot!!

6pm seems a more reasonable time to have the curfew on the weekend nights. Mine is usually shopping during the day.

Where did you teach in Fairfax? My daughter went to GBE, GBW and Rocky Run MS before moving down here.

[ionlife]

Originally Posted by PSMadison

Madison Sq Mall in particular would seem to be between a rock and a hard place. It seems a large number of their stores now cater to teens, and yet their target market is now virtually excluded during their likely free time.

We noticed that the only people carrying loads of shopping bags out of Bridges last night were the teen girls. Where do they get all their money?? Mine babysits and gets a small allowance but she has to save part of it and we're matching her savings with a 401 50% add-on. Trying to teach responsible habits is the goal.

[vakinderegg]

I taught at Robert E Lee High School in Springfield and Mount Vernon High School in Alexandria. Both very diverse schools. Lee High School was down the street from Springfield Mall.

Perhaps during the summer hours when it gets dark later then the teens can shop a bit later too.

[ionlife]

Originally Posted by vakinderegg

I taught at Robert E Lee High School in Springfield and Mount Vernon High School in Alexandria. Both very diverse schools. Lee High School was down the street from Springfield Mall.

Perhaps during the summer hours when it gets dark later then the teens can shop a bit later too.

My daughter's schools were also very diverse in population. I'm glad she had that experience and learned about so many different cultures in her schools. International Night at both elementary schools was so exciting and the food was very cool.

I think the rule is easier if it is the same all year for the malls from a logistical point of view. We were at Bridges yesterday after a long day of unpacking boxes and the place was hopping. Some teens were with parents. One teen guy was in J.Crew with his mom and sister and could see the changing room my daughter was in! I stood outside the stalls the whole time because the mom didn't make him leave!! I guess if they aren't expected to follow certain rules of decorum when they are with their parents, they might be even worse if left alone. Sigh.

Overall our experience here has been wonderful. So this issue really is just noise to me. But I am glad I can take her and a few friends to the theater for drop off and pick up. I can only watch some of these movies once--they like to see the same thing a dozen times.