Need advice, neighbor is harassing me with the HOA. (Meridian: house, to buy)

[ratpackfam]

Hi, I am a Mom of two boys and my husband works out of state so he is hardly home and i have a neighbor that is singling me out and calling the city and HOA for everything I do. He does not do this to everyone, just me! I am the only one that does not have a husband home so i am easy prey for a bully like him. He is and elderly, retired (bored) man. Everyone of the neighbors have violations here and there that could be ground for complaint and he certainly has some of them himself. I am having a room added to my house, so for the time being I have to park my vehicle in the street, due to the driveway being used by workers and material drops.......this is all temporary. He has been calling the City of Meridian and the officer that has come by my house 4 times now, said I am not breaking any laws as long as the vehicle is moved every 72 hours. Now i come home from shopping and he or another busy body from the HOA has placed a copy of the HOA rules in my mailbox (Isn't that illegal?). I get the cops called if we load our four wheelers up .....he calls and says we are riding them in the street, I could write a book on the people that have come to my door with some kind of complaint from this guy. I don't know where to turn, I feel harassed so badly by this guy, he stares at me and my kids when we are out front. I have only lived here for a year and I can't afford to move. The weird thing is, there are neighbors with bigger "HOA Violations" that he could report, but he doesn't ..........he is focused on me and my family. We are the only ones he complains about. Who do I call?? He is on the committee for the HOA, so i don't know who i have to turn to? I can't sleep or relax because it is so out of control. I am bothered daily by either the Meridian Police or a HOA complaint of somesort. Are there any Idaho laws against this type of behavior?
Shouldn't my family be able to live in peace? I have a child with Autism and i home school him and have so much going on in my life already........I just do not need the added stress.

[stingraynm]

One of the things I loved about Idaho was its libertarian legal stance, which usually put a stop to control freaks, kurmudgeons, etc. Unfortunately, HOAs have a contract process that pretty much puts you at their mercy, and they justify it with housing price control and your alleged freedom to choose where you live (which fits in the libertarian ideals).

I'm sorry if you've already tried and failed, but if not, you may want to arrange a formal meeting with this seemingly miserly fellow to attempt to find some compromises. Many of those types are cooperative once you start a dialogue, appeal to their common sense of relative circumstances, and show a sign that you're willing to compromise on issues where they can provide a reason for concern.

Of course, some people are just legalistic (an offshoot of spite), and just point back at the rules with a complete disregard for humanity/circumstance. At that point, your HOA should have a recourse for you to meet with him in an official, mediated setting wherein you can come to an official agreement. Although he is on the "council", this meeting should be comprised so as to treat you as equals. If others have comparable experiences with this man's unreasonably excessive harrassment, you can arrange for everyone to bring a case in unison. At that point, an HOA is subject to a legal responsibility to investigate and resolve issues that are harrassment. Numerous testimonies will demonstrate objectively that this man is the problem, and not the people he harrasses.

Prior to the meeting, you should document all interactions, as you would in a case of an uncomfortable or hostile work environment. Note any interactions where he gives you unreasonable ultimatums or behaves in a hostile manner toward your children. The former will show him to be irrational while the latter constitutes an unnecessary threat and even a lack of good judgment.

Also, yes, putting those flyers in your mailbox is illegal. If you have a means to catch him in the act, I'd do it. If he's as legalistic as it seems, he should know to leave those at your door.

Sorry that's all I can offer. A lot of it is probably just stating the obvious, but often people need to be emboldened with an outside opinion to reassure them in options they've considered. If my neighborly and official approaches don't work, you may want to seek legal consultation.

[norcalmom101]

Isn't filing a false police report a crime? If you are not already keeping a log you need to start one today, and document all related contact from this day forward, while reconstructing all past incidents to the best of your ability. Does your local PD have a community relations officer? I'd find some such person and have a frank discussion weighing your options in terms of filing a report against this guy for any documented false police reports he has filed, or maybe having a facilitated mediation between him and you. And do a bit of your own research to figure out what his issue is, does he want to buy your property? Is the construction keeping him up, blocking his view or otherwise creating a problem for him? Is he acting on his own, or do others share his concerns? Get as much info as you can while documenting everything.

[norcalmom101]

Another thought, when I lived in SF the cops had something called a "disregard." I had a neighbor who would call the police on me because she could hear me typing...Yes, officer, I am writing a term paper....So if I was going to actually disturb the peace by for example having a party, I would call my local police station and let them know. That way, when the neighbor called to complain, they could disregard her call, worked for me, worked for the cops. So if you are going to do something like park in front of your own home, or some other neighbor-provoking activity, call the cops before he does. You'll be doing them, and yourself, a favor.