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Old 05-18-2011, 07:16 PM
 
18,856 posts, read 30,500,354 times
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I work with alot of elderly people in my job, and many of them are lonely, men, whose wives have died, and their families live far away. The men usually get a care taker, sometimes from an agency...usually a woman who does not speak much English...and these elderly men depend on these women to help them with their activities of daily living, bathing, cooking, dressing, shopping, and become quite attached to these women...which is fine...the issue is...I have seen this happen several times now, is that they get married, and the MINUTE the woman gets her papers that she is legal, she cleans out the account, and leaves.

I have now heard this same story, several times...what on earth is the ETHICS of these women?!

We need to stop the women who come here, and prey on lonely, elderly men...yes, these men do need to be protected from this type of emotional abuse.

One guy I spoke with today, his wife called the police on him, for domestic violence, and now, he has been researching this...after she left him...and found out that if he had been charged, she could have stayed here legally earlier...

And these men feel so hurt, and used, that they don't report this at all, to anyone...and just sort of discuss it, with a sigh...and think that maybe she will come back one day...

This is a crime, and not even reported...or even investigated in any newspapers that I have seen on this issue. And it is happening every day here ...
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Old 05-18-2011, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Jacurutu
5,302 posts, read 4,016,445 times
Reputation: 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
I work with alot of elderly people in my job, and many of them are lonely, men, whose wives have died, and their families live far away. The men usually get a care taker, sometimes from an agency...usually a woman who does not speak much English...and these elderly men depend on these women to help them with their activities of daily living, bathing, cooking, dressing, shopping, and become quite attached to these women...which is fine...the issue is...I have seen this happen several times now, is that they get married, and the MINUTE the woman gets her papers that she is legal, she cleans out the account, and leaves.

I have now heard this same story, several times...what on earth is the ETHICS of these women?!

We need to stop the women who come here, and prey on lonely, elderly men...yes, these men do need to be protected from this type of emotional abuse.

One guy I spoke with today, his wife called the police on him, for domestic violence, and now, he has been researching this...after she left him...and found out that if he had been charged, she could have stayed here legally earlier...

And these men feel so hurt, and used, that they don't report this at all, to anyone...and just sort of discuss it, with a sigh...and think that maybe she will come back one day...

This is a crime, and not even reported...or even investigated in any newspapers that I have seen on this issue. And it is happening every day here ...
First off - What is the immigration status of these "caretakers" before a marriage? If they marry, do you know of the steps the couple has to go through to gain "papers" for the woman? I'll await a response - It appears you have grossly trivialized the process.

Don't worry - Many Americans don't understand the steps or concept either...
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Old 05-18-2011, 07:44 PM
 
18,856 posts, read 30,500,354 times
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Yes, I have...but I have seen it happen, time and time again..these women take these men to all of the hearings...and never miss a date, or a piece of paperwork on these hearings. I did not go into the process, it took the last man over 4 years, to get his "wife" legal..and when she was, she WAS gone. He hired attorneys, to make the immigration process go smooth. I have personally seen this now, with lots of elderly men...used, and tossed away like trash. Our seniors deserve better than this.

Last edited by jasper12; 05-18-2011 at 07:45 PM.. Reason: edit.
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Old 05-18-2011, 07:48 PM
 
Location: 3rd rock from the sun
3,858 posts, read 5,965,170 times
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Illegals cannot adjust their status by marrying an American. If they apply for residency on this basis they will be deported with a ten year ban on re-entering.
A more likely scenario is a legal resident or citizen preying on lonely old men and cleaning them out.
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Old 05-18-2011, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Jacurutu
5,302 posts, read 4,016,445 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Yes, I have...but I have seen it happen, time and time again..these women take these men to all of the hearings...and never miss a date, or a piece of paperwork on these hearings. I did not go into the process, it took the last man over 4 years, to get his "wife" legal..and when she was, she WAS gone. He hired attorneys, to make the immigration process go smooth. I have personally seen this now, with lots of elderly men...used, and tossed away like trash. Our seniors deserve better than this.
What is the immigration status of the women "caretakers"? If they are illegal aliens (and that would be the only reason to be posted in this sub-forum), did they overstay a visa? Or did they "EWI" (Entry Without Inspection)?

What is "legal"? Citizenship or Legal Permanent Residency? How long were they married? These questions are important to understand exactly what you are talking about.

Otherwise, if you don't know a particular answer, that is an acceptable response...
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Old 05-18-2011, 08:11 PM
 
Location: Jacurutu
5,302 posts, read 4,016,445 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Siete View Post
Illegals cannot adjust their status by marrying an American. If they apply for residency on this basis they will be deported with a ten year ban on re-entering.
A more likely scenario is a legal resident or citizen preying on lonely old men and cleaning them out.
But the OP has seen this "time and time again", and has one specific case to refer to. The caretakers are getting "legal", so there can't be any mistakes or assumptions, right? It has to be true somehow!

Won't someone please think of the seniors!...

I want some more details myself...
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Old 05-18-2011, 08:12 PM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
26,902 posts, read 58,020,547 times
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If any of them look like Salma Hayek...

If you've never seen "Dogma"... you should:

YouTube - Dogma Salma Hayek Candy Girl-So Cute
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Old 05-18-2011, 08:37 PM
 
18,856 posts, read 30,500,354 times
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Fine, argue all the points of the issue, without looking at these poor old guys, getting taken to the cleaners by their maids. Yes, the maids are younger...usually from South America, Mexico...They get paperwork, and they are gone. And it is not reported, because these guys don't want to be seen as "foolish old men"...I am at a point of starting to document these cases, and see if there is a common thread, like a common agency these women work for, and are referred to work with these men.

And they are always asking for money, for this or that...and these guys give it to them, because they are dependent on them as caretakers. It is not only financial explotation, it is emotional abuse as well. Based on information released by the National Center on Elder Abuse, there may be as many as 5 million annual cases of elder financial exploitation nationwide. And the majority are never known to the law; the Senior Forum on this topic, part of the 2005 White House Conference on Aging, estimated that only one of 100 cases is reported.

• Victims fear that if they tell family or the police, they will be thought incompetent and sent to a nursing home.

http://www.agingwellmag.com/archive/winter08p22.shtml

http://www.articlesbase.com/elderly-...s-1611569.html

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Security/Default.aspx?id=341296 (broken link) Green Card Marriage--ticket to US citizenship

So, after doing some research...it seems like this is not unusual at all...just very much unreported. And very heartbreaking.

Last edited by jasper12; 05-18-2011 at 08:51 PM.. Reason: edit
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Old 05-18-2011, 08:51 PM
 
Location: OCEAN BREEZES AND VIEWS SAN CLEMENTE
19,899 posts, read 15,307,591 times
Reputation: 6451
I am sure you are right in what you say, and this is sad, for these older gentlemen. However younger men, are also taken for a ride with this same situation. I understand from things i have read in the past, these women who do this sort of thing, go after the young, and the old as well.

However not all caregivers have this in mind. I have got to say, if it were not for the caregivers my Mother had before she passed away, don't know what we would have done. Hers went beyond the scope of what a truly remarkable caregiver should be, even doing grocery shopping for my Mother, they cleaned her house, not cleaning her of everything she had. Made coffee for her in the morning, kept her company when her children could not be with her, it gave me a comfort knowing she had someone worthwhile.

Sure these women have bad intentions, but not only with seniors, i read up on this last year, they do want to get their papaers any way they can, but lets not put all caregivers in this catergory.

My Mothers caregivers, were a wonderful Mexican legal Women, and the most compassionate women i have ever met from Asia.

If i were you above, i would document these cases, and see what you come up with, and your right i did read, that these older Men, don't want to seem desperate, or foolish.
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:30 PM
 
Location: Jacurutu
5,302 posts, read 4,016,445 times
Reputation: 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Fine, argue all the points of the issue, without looking at these poor old guys, getting taken to the cleaners by their maids. Yes, the maids are younger...usually from South America, Mexico...They get paperwork, and they are gone. And it is not reported, because these guys don't want to be seen as "foolish old men"...I am at a point of starting to document these cases, and see if there is a common thread, like a common agency these women work for, and are referred to work with these men...
Start by documenting what you know here. Immigration status, method of entry into the United States, and length of the marriage are not minor details in these cases. In fact an I-601 (taking your topic title at face value, that you are assuming the caretakers are illegal immigrants) typically processes at the U.S. Consulate in their home country. Mexico has a faster program that is being tested, but it is not a quick and easy route.

Age differences are analyzed heavily. Short marriages get "conditional" Resident Cards (if approved) that must have both parties participate in Adjustment of Status later. "Stokes" interviews will grill the couple separately for any discrepancies.

Sure, I know some incidents occur, but how you are avoiding many details doesn't quite match up (the U.S. Consulates will catch on to many schemes earlier than you think). How many specific cases are you aware of? My first thought was to stay away, and see this fail the laugh test in official channels.

But I know how unsubstantiated rumors get carried through on forums, and become fodder for fear-mongering...

Please provide a few more details...
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