You Know You're From Illinois When:

[crbcrbrgv]

Originally Posted by j33

Haha. Funny, I've seen similar jokes passed around for most of the rural areas of the Midwest, but this is true for everyone in the state, rural and urban --- "You know if another Illinoisan is from southern, central or northern Illinois as soon they open their mouth." ... Ain't that the truth.

I was sent one for my locale not to long ago (my comments are in parenthesis)

You know you are from Chicago when...

You live two miles from work and it takes an hour to drive there (or to get there by the bus, this happened just this week)

You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Old Style" - no names for the bars, just beer signs out front.(my landlord owns one of them, it is two doors down from my two-flat)

It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you put it back on the sidewalk you will be shot on sight. (we are currently in dibs high season, ugh)

You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45 minute car ride on the highway (the skyway is evil)

You've played 16-inch softball (I love those big softballs, they look so funny flying through the air)

You've tried several times to identify the Picasso sculpture in Daley Plaza, and have decided it's just a big baboon. (and now we have a giant bean! yay)

You think anything south of I-80 is Southern Illinois. (don't tell llama214, okay?)

You're not sure what state Carbondale is in. (uh... no comment there

You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate (they even had a song written about them "Lincoln Park Pirates". I remember)

You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes." (the prices have risen since then, and they forgot the 'broken window' fee, budgeting car break-ins into your annual budget)

You recognize all the street signs and El stops in the John Cusack movie "High Fidelity." (heh, I live by the neighborhood it was filmed in)

You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian, or in-line skater on the lakefront path. One day I am going to hit one of them! (I've been hit by one of them)

You know the significance of State and Madison. (you betcha!)

You don't miss Planet Hollywood (I remember passing by it on the bus when it was being built, and was thrilled when it closed)

You can decipher a WMAQ traffic report, but your out of town passenger thinks it's just gibberish.(I was asked once incredulously, 'you understand that?'

Grocery stores are the only type of retail entity that get a definite article: "I'm going to The Jewel" or "I'll stop by The Dominick's on the way home." (Sadly, I've been known to utter those phrases)

You give driving distances in minutes or blocks, never in miles. (I think of everything in terms of blocks, it is sad really)

You can tell within minutes of meeting someone if they're probably a Cubs fan or a Sox fan (mostly true, but things are starting to change)

You forgot "You move to Texas because political retardation has driven you away from the state (the snow and cold didn't help either!)

[j33]

No, I didn't forget that, I haven't moved to Texas

[jessiKur]

If I see a cheesehead hat thing, I gag.

[Lookout Kid]

Originally Posted by crbcrbrgv

You forgot "You move to Texas because political retardation has driven you away from the state (the snow and cold didn't help either!)

Texas? Sane? It's the most politically insane area in the country.

[Divenurse]

If you visit Louisiana.. be aware that 15minutes actually means 30-45minutes. I moved here yrs ago and I have the formula of add a minimum of 100% to time or money someone states.. I'm not sure if they can tell time or count very well here. and..they don't know what a block is;(