Why do they say these things? (Indianapolis, Decatur: real estate, apartment, income)

[volubilis22]

I was born and grew up in Indiana - Shelby County. Let me just say, with all due respect to everyone, that I never felt Indiana was a place for me. So, a few years ago, I moved to the Dallas, TX area, and I really liked it there. Last year I moved back to Indiana because of a family issue which came up. I find that I am not very happy living up here, and I will be moving back to the Dallas/Plano area this July. The family issue is no longer a problem.

I have received a great deal of criticism for not only wanting to move away in the first place, but wanting to return to Texas. I am single and have no children so it is not as though I am dragging a whole family along with me. I've had so many people in Indiana tell me that they just can't understand why I would ever want to leave here. As far as Shelby County is concerned, I've had people tell me things like, "How could you even think of living anywhere else?" One older lady said to me, "A lot of people move away like that, and then they figure out that home is where you need to be." I have also received these kinds of comments from people in the larger cities such as Indianapolis, but most of them have come from people in these smaller towns (just an observation.) Not that I really care what anyone else thinks. There are some people in Indiana who tell me they can't blame me for wanting to leave, but they are in a minority. I know someone who moved from Decatur County to Indianapolis, and he says he too is often told by people in his native town that he "needs to move home."

If people were born here, grew up here, and they enjoy it and they want to stay, I think that is fine. But just because I grew up in Indiana doesn't mean I share their viewpoint on this. I don't share their love of Indiana because it isn't my kind of place - that's all. I really have very little in common with most Shelby County natives - at least with those who chose to remain close to home.

I love Dallas and Texas, but I don't expect everyone else to. I understand it is not for everyone. In fact, I met a few people there (even some area natives) who absolutely hated Dallas-Fort Worth.

Some people in Indiana think that I've gone off the deep end in wanting to move away, and they become quite persistent in telling me I just have the wrong attitude and I just need to learn to be content there. Why do they say these things? What do you think the reason is? Are they afraid that if too many aspiring younger people move away their region's future will be in jeopardy?

[domergurl]

Hey, I got the same thing when I declared that living in Chicago was my goal since the age of 12. People in my backwards conservative hick town thought I was getting too big for my britches because ... why on earth would I EVER want to leave this perfect (NOT) little town. Well, I got tired of everyone knowing my business, and this was in high school! I wanted to be anonymous. I didn't want to run into everyone everywhere.

You go back to Dallas!!! Go go go and have the time of your life. You haven't gone off the deep end at all. Who cares what the old fogeys think. If they like Shelby County, cool! People need to live there for the county to exist. You go where you need to go. Who knows, you may turn into a boomerange hoosier like me someday. We'll always have the light on for you.

[volubilis22]

Hey, thanks Domergurl! It's good to know I'm not the only one who has been told these kinds of things about leaving my hometown area. I think that some of these people are just jealous. What I mean is, they'd maybe like to move somewhere or take steps to improve their lives and fulfill their dreams, but they don't want to put the time and effort into it. Awhile back I decided to start dieting and exercising to lose weight and get in shape. I could tell it was making some people mad, because I was getting results. But anyone who really wants to can do things like this. It takes hard work and persistence, but it pays off.

I can't blame you for wanting to move up to Chicago. Alas, it's just too cold up there for me or I'd probably have gone there myself.

It's tough to move to a new city or town far from home. But It can be done, and I feel it is entirely worth all the difficulty involved if that is what you want.

One cold thing I will miss from Indiana is Ritter's Frozen Custard. They do have frozen custard shoppes in Texas, but somehow just not the same as Ritter's!

[HoosierRN]

You need to go where you are happy. If that is Dallas, more power to you. I would move out of Indiana in a heartbeat (for somewhere warmer) but my husband doesn't want to go at this time. I can live with that.

Best wishes for you wherever you go!

[domergurl]

I moved to Chicago not knowing a soul. It was a miserable 6 months ... lonely and pathetic, but then I started meeting people and having fun. I look back on those years with such joy because everything I did, I accomplished on my own. There are people who never get the chance to do that because of various reasons. So to you V, I will say this ... GO SOUTH and make your mark. Come on back if you ever feel like it.

[ME-Evergreen]

This is interesting. I was also born in Indiana and got the same speech when I announced that I would leave the state. Well I did and have lived in many places in the US and now live in Scotland. There is life outside of Indiana. I think this may be news to the Hoosiers who think everyone should stay--including my mother!

[domergurl]

Scotland in da house! A place I want to visit ... is it true that if you can dip it in batter, you'll deep fry ANYTHING??? Haggis ... not sure if I want to try it, but when in Scotland. By far my favorite accent in the world.

I looked at it this way when I left for a little while. I never intended on returning, but once we had kids, we felt that being closer to family would be a good thing. Sometimes we wonder if we made the right decision because we love Chicago so much, but you do what you have to do right?

I remember when I found my job in Chicago while I was finishing up grad school. I went ahead and got an apartment secured and then announced where I was going upon completion of of grad school to my parents. That way they couldn't say much. I guess they lost some sleep the first week I was there on my own. So sweet isn't it? But then my Dad came for a visit and he thought it was the cooles thing ever. He realized why I wanted to live where I lived.

[cleoT]

Scotland=Gerard Butler=Love.

Seriously, though, when we moved, our kids were 1 and 2, and I didn't think I'd ever want to move back. Had we moved to Dallas instead of "Podunk" two hours away from Dallas, our lives would have been totally different, and we might not be returning now. And Domergurl, I'm thinking it would be hard to get me away from Chicago, which is like my alltime favorite city. But, our kids are older now, and that certainly is a pull. Plus, I decided it was better to live close to my family and friends who love me unconditionally (even though I may want to smack them upside the head from time to time ) than people who don't give a damn about me. I live in rural bible belt country, though, a completely different experience than Dallas, which I also love.

I look at it this way. It's like when you're single and they ask, "When are you ever gonna get married?" Then when you get married, it's like, "When are you gonna have kids?" People, especially those who love you and may be a little more simple minded than us adventurers, will constantly wonder why you'd ever want to change your life and your surroundings, which include them.

Go. Visit from time to time. Smile when they ask you these questions. But most importantly, do what you want to do.

Best of luck!

[mbuszu]

Having moved a lot in my life I can tell you one thing I've learned. Don't ever make a speech to others about how you're unhappy where you are (and of course where your audience is currently) and how you're moving away to someplace better. Of course you'll get oppositional points of view reciprocated right back at you. Your audience isn't moving away, perhaps they really don't want to, perhaps they cannot move, or perhaps they just have never given it much thought as an option. Whatever the situation is for them, most people tend to justify what they are doing, and what their plans currently are. They'll typically argue with anyone who contradicts their thoughts. It's just human nature.

I have no problem with you moving your family back to Texas. If you love Texas by all means, go and don't worry about what other people think. I've really enjoyed my visits to Houston and Dallas - it's a great state. Affordable real estate, great food, plenty of jobs, nice people, and an awesome income tax rate :-)

We all have our own life paths. Mine has taken me from big cities such as Boston and NY, to rural areas of the southeast, deep south, and north east, and now the midwest. I've started my family here. I am going to encourage my children to see the world even outside the US as my parents did me. There's so much out there to see and experience, it is remarkable to me that I know people who have never lived elsewhere. I don't get it, but respect that it is what they want to do.

[domergurl]

I need to have it in my will that part of my cremated ashes are to be thrown into Lake Michigan from Oak Street Beach ...