Where to meet successful professional guys in their 30s in Indy? (Indianapolis: apartments, neighborhood)

[grmasterb]

Originally Posted by Serious Conversation

Maybe I am, but I'm in a major city, not somewhere in the sticks. You'd think with this many people the pool would be bigger.

The pool is bigger, and there's more competition. If the median age for first marriage for women in Indiana is 26, and you want someone around 30, it's gonna get tight. It's naturally going to mean that most who want to be married will be married by 30. The rest just probably aren't interested -- either in marriage or in what you're offering. Throw in an income requirement, no kids and "no baggage," and (as some of your TN brethren might say), you got yourself a problem, hoss.

My advice: Focus on finding a good woman. Don't worry as much about the income. Love her kid(s), if she has any. Love her in spite of her baggage. Don't be so rigid. Life is short. And be humble. You're probably not all that anyway. None of us are.

[grmasterb]

Originally Posted by melly27

Hey, I'm a single woman turning 30 this year! Haha. I agree, Indy is NOT a good place for professional singletons. It is one of the reasons I am looking to move out of here.

Do you make at least $50K, have no kids and no "baggage" (whatever that means)??

[melly27]

Originally Posted by McdonaldIndy

Its worse in many other places in America.
Good luck then

It's also better in many other places. That's my lament with Indy. It's just OK. In the middle. Lots of worse places to live, but also lots of better places.

[LIS123]

Originally Posted by melly27

It's also better in many other places. That's my lament with Indy. It's just OK. In the middle. Lots of worse places to live, but also lots of better places.

Yes.

Indy is very vanilla/sterile. It's certainly not a bad place but it's hard to state too many good qualities about the area besides reasonable COL and good schools for those with children.

Indy is anything but dynamic and vibrant, though some of its marketing material (with the cultural districts, etc.) may try to paint a different picture. Don't mean to sound naive, but I was a little excited about moving to Indy after reading about the city. Having lived there twice for ~ 4.5 years, I can say that it is quite homogenous and has a relatively narrow appeal.

[melly27]

Originally Posted by LIS123

Yes.

Indy is very vanilla/sterile. It's certainly not a bad place but it's hard to state too many good qualities about the area besides reasonable COL and good schools for those with children.

Indy is anything but dynamic and vibrant, though some of its marketing material (with the cultural districts, etc.) may try to paint a different picture. Don't mean to sound naive, but I was a little excited about moving to Indy after reading about the city. Having lived there twice for ~ 4.5 years, I can say that it is quite homogenous and has a relatively narrow appeal.

It is so nice to see someone else agree with this! I also don't understand why people get so offended here if you mention anything negative about Indy. Most of the people I met here never want to leave, which is fine, but they also think everywhere else sucks. Drives me bonkers. I have lived here 7 years and I too was optimistic, but I've seen all there is to see. I want to see and experience more than this city has to offer.

[LIS123]

Originally Posted by melly27

It is so nice to see someone else agree with this! I also don't understand why people get so offended here if you mention anything negative about Indy. Most of the people I met here never want to leave, which is fine, but they also think everywhere else sucks. Drives me bonkers. I have lived here 7 years and I too was optimistic, but I've seen all there is to see. I want to see and experience more than this city has to offer.

People get defensive about their hometowns, so this phenomenon is not exclusive to Indy by any means.

I lived there for ~ 4.5 years and can state definitively that, if you're frustrated after 7 years of living in Indy, your frustration will only stay the same or increase the longer you live there. The area will not change or improve substantively, no matter what the visitors bureau or politicians say. My father was surprised when I told him how lame it was b/c he believed those claims that it's one of the fastest growing areas, new jobs are coming in, etc. The largest employers in the area (Lilly, St. Vincent, IU Health, etc.) are either flat or reducing headcount and there is very little economic dynamism as it relates to startups, VC, etc.

[Ivory Lee Spurlock]

Originally Posted by postpast

Hi, I'm a single successful professional woman, educated and intelligent, 31, who just moved to Indy last year. I was quite happy when I received the offer from Indy because it is one of the few cities in the mid west. Friends also told me that I might be able to find a group of single professional guys in their 30s to start a long term relationship and more. The problem is that ever since I moved here it seems that almost everyone is married, or never interested in getting married, or just not my type (education-wise). Bummer. I tried meetup groups and match with not much avail. I consider myself pretty, attractive, slim, and treating people well. My only problem is that I do not drink and this has kept me away from a lot of meeting folks through sports bars. As days are passing by my doubt starts to increase: Is Indy a dateless place or did I miss any place(s) that I should have visited? I love my job and really hate to give it up to go to another town, Any insights would be helpful!

Join a bowling league. That's a great way to meet new people.

[Graywhiskers]

Tinder works - works anywhere.

For men seeking women, consider taking classes in ballroom dancing. No matter how much you hate dancing.
Or, get a dog and go to dog shows, or even just go to the dog park with your dog. Many women love animals, you will meet women.

[MortonR]

Originally Posted by LIS123

People get defensive about their hometowns, so this phenomenon is not exclusive to Indy by any means.

I lived there for ~ 4.5 years and can state definitively that, if you're frustrated after 7 years of living in Indy, your frustration will only stay the same or increase the longer you live there. The area will not change or improve substantively, no matter what the visitors bureau or politicians say. My father was surprised when I told him how lame it was b/c he believed those claims that it's one of the fastest growing areas, new jobs are coming in, etc. The largest employers in the area (Lilly, St. Vincent, IU Health, etc.) are either flat or reducing headcount and there is very little economic dynamism as it relates to startups, VC, etc.

Well said!

As a native and former resident up until a few years ago, I think you've pretty much hit the nail on the head.

Interestingly, while there has been growth and expansion, I can still go to my old neighborhood from the 1970s and it is literally unchanged. Even some of the people who lived there when I did are still there, nearly 50 years later.

Not sure whether that's good or bad, probably good, but I also think it points to the stagnation that encompasses a lot of the area.

RM

[indy_317]

Originally Posted by grmasterb

My advice: Focus on finding a good woman. Don't worry as much about the income. Love her kid(s), if she has any. Love her in spite of her baggage. Don't be so rigid. Life is short. And be humble. You're probably not all that anyway. None of us are.

Lots of guys do have issues with a woman's baggage, which to me is just a catchall phrase that means something that happened in her past that she is possibly still carrying with her. Women do the same thing, but I've noticed that many women who are approaching 30 and really want that family life and more likely to overlook things such has prior marriages, kids, etc.. Some of the older guys I know start to not care, or accept certain things, once they get closer to 40.

There are lots of successful guys out there who are scared to death of divorce and having all the issues surrounding that. While previous kids would be a solid next for me and other guys, eventually one has to take what they can get. However, if I was going to get involved with a woman with kids, I would want someone who was financially well off. I would be more scared that some woman with two kids maybe bringing in $30K/year would be more wanting the marriage for financial stability or wanting someone to help her with the kids and not necessarily because she really loved me.

I've got relatives, co-workers, and acquaintances in their early 20s to 40s that I've talked to about relationships, or see how they do relationships. It is a huge spectrum of what people want and do. I feel sorry for those who wanted something serious in their mid-20s, but still continue to have to deal with others just wanting something casual or one person has to end it because it just isn't the right match. It really can be brutal for some who really wanted the whole dating and courting thing to be over for them years ago.