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Old 08-04-2010, 08:32 PM
 
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I'm a bit stymied and hoping some of you will have suggestions. Last week, someone opened an e-mail account at dcemail.com and proceeded to make inquiries at literally dozens of companies leaving my name and contact information. My phone has been ringing off the hook. It's an interesting update of the old high school trick of ordering pizza delivery for somebody else. Very juvenile and very passive-aggressive, but also a little savvy. Although I am on the DoNotCall list, these companies may contact me freely because as far as they know, I initiated the contact. Of course, that's not really the case.

I suspect that the perpetrator is somebody I used to know in high school, because they used my maiden name, which I haven't used in over twenty years. Nobody in my current circle is aware of my maiden name, and I have always used my married name legally, so this person has done a bit of digging.

I'm thinking of disconnecting my phone and using a cell only, but that will cause disruption for the rest of my family. I'd love to know who this person is. Any thoughts about how I might go about identifying him or her without making direct contact and possibly escalating matters? After all, this person does have my home address.

I should also mention that I have frozen my credit and notified my bank, just in case this person has more of my personal information, and I've also filed a police report. Unfortunately, there's little the police can do until this person ups the ante, something I would like to avoid at all costs.

Google searches of the email address haven't been productive. The ISP is cooperating and revealing the addresses of any companies that have sent messages to the account in question, but none of those companies have any additional information about this person.

Any ideas?
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Old 08-06-2010, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Planet Eaarth
8,955 posts, read 17,967,678 times
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While it seems that you've hit all the right bumpers you forgot one key thing to do. Contact a lawyer (ya I know it seems like a waste of money) to get the lawyer up to speed if you need to take legal action and to get legal advice on what your options are. Until you do get a lawyer involved you're wide open to all sorts of bad risk.

Best of luck kiddo.
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Old 08-06-2010, 05:01 PM
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Location: Ohio
16,892 posts, read 33,621,908 times
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The ISP who the email account belongs to could be doing more. They could shut down the account and provide you (or more likely, law enforcement) with the IP address of any connections made to it. You'll probably have to get a subpoena or court order to get that information, since most ISPs won't hand over customer information without it. If your local police won't help, you may have to work with (and pay for) an attorney to get that process underway.
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Old 08-06-2010, 06:09 PM
 
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The ISP has offered to shut down the e-mail address. I declined, because I don't want to tip off the person who is stalking me. At this point, his actions are just annoying, and I don't want him to up the ante.

Believe it or not, the ISP has been very cooperative in revealing the contacts made via the e-mail address in question, which has allowed me to contact the companies with which he has initiated inquiries and have my information deleted. Several are on-line universities, so I also followed up with Fafsa and Sallie Mae to make sure that this person is not trying to obtain financial aid in my name.

I'm hoping that this person is just trying to be a nuisance and does not have any malicious intent. Nonetheless, I hooked our home security system back up today, and I am still planning to change my home phone number.

Thank you both for your input. I will seriously consider hiring an attorney if the harassment continues.
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Old 08-06-2010, 08:26 PM
 
Location: Planet Eaarth
8,955 posts, read 17,967,678 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
The ISP has offered to shut down the e-mail address. I declined, because I don't want to tip off the person who is stalking me. At this point, his actions are just annoying, and I don't want him to up the ante.

Believe it or not, the ISP has been very cooperative in revealing the contacts made via the e-mail address in question, which has allowed me to contact the companies with which he has initiated inquiries and have my information deleted. Several are on-line universities, so I also followed up with Fafsa and Sallie Mae to make sure that this person is not trying to obtain financial aid in my name.

I'm hoping that this person is just trying to be a nuisance and does not have any malicious intent. Nonetheless, I hooked our home security system back up today, and I am still planning to change my home phone number.

Thank you both for your input. I will seriously consider hiring an attorney if the harassment continues.
Why wait? The "next time" could very well be worse.

Penny wise and pound foolish?
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Old 08-07-2010, 12:00 PM
 
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Not pound foolish, Tightwad, but the types of contacts being made indicate someone who's trying to be a nuisance, not someone who wishes me real harm. If porn starts showing up in my mailbox, be assured that I will hire an attorney and pursue legal action against the perpetrator.

I'm completely at a loss as to who this could be, but my gut's telling me it's somebody from high school. Earlier this year, I joined Facebook briefly and made contact with a few old acquaintances. After a couple of weeks, I realized that I wasn't enjoying it and that I had little in common with people from my past, so I permanently deleted my file. My best guess is that the stalker is somebody who got my information from either my page or somebody I had friended.

Anyway, I do appreciate your concern, and I will keep you updated. Thanks again.
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Old 08-07-2010, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Planet Eaarth
8,955 posts, read 17,967,678 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
Not pound foolish, Tightwad, but the types of contacts being made indicate someone who's trying to be a nuisance, not someone who wishes me real harm. If porn starts showing up in my mailbox, be assured that I will hire an attorney and pursue legal action against the perpetrator.

I'm completely at a loss as to who this could be, but my gut's telling me it's somebody from high school. Earlier this year, I joined Facebook briefly and made contact with a few old acquaintances. After a couple of weeks, I realized that I wasn't enjoying it and that I had little in common with people from my past, so I permanently deleted my file. My best guess is that the stalker is somebody who got my information from either my page or somebody I had friended.

Anyway, I do appreciate your concern, and I will keep you updated. Thanks again.
Please be mindful that the jump from harassment to stalking or other harm is but the blink of an eye. Whoever is doing this has a grudge that has been festering for a awhile.

Personally, I wouldn't wait another second. I'd take the "war" to them in a hurry since it's always better to fight on their ground and not have to defend yours.

Lawyer time yet?????
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Old 08-07-2010, 06:47 PM
 
5,748 posts, read 10,864,981 times
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Well, today I received information I "requested" from GlaxoKlineSmith for an erectile dysfunction medication, so it appears that the harassment is continuing. I'm unsure what to do next. I think this person is looking for a reaction from me, so the most infuriating thing I can do is not give it to them. If I contact a lawyer and file a warrant for the ISP to reveal the IP address, that will force me into legal action, which I'm not sure I want to pursue. All I really want to know is this person's identity.

The perpetrator has done me one favor in that they're using my maiden name, probably as a signature so I'll know it's him or her, which will allow me to work with the Postmaster to filter out the offensive mail. The phone number is kaput, so at least I don't have to deal with the phone calls anymore.

Last edited by formercalifornian; 08-07-2010 at 08:01 PM..
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Old 08-07-2010, 07:02 PM
 
Location: Where we enjoy all four seasons
20,799 posts, read 8,777,543 times
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What about going to your local District Attorney's office and let them know what is happening to you.
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Old 08-07-2010, 07:14 PM
 
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Were you a bully in high school?
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