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Old 05-10-2016, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,474 posts, read 1,754,869 times
Reputation: 3228

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To make a long story short: This is a serious question I've had for years. Please give an honest effort at explaining why 5 people out of hundreds of people from my past keep appearing on my "suggested friends" feed in fb? Does it mean that those people searched for me?

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To make a short story long: I despise facebook for all of the typical reasons but I keep my account because my few select "friends" on there are fantastic people.

I share next to nothing about myself on there.

My real name & email address are not searchable through facebook. (At least that's what I requested in my settings, but is it true that facebook overrides our settings sometimes and changes it to what they want??)

I specifically set facebook NOT to sync with my email. (Again, would facebook dare change our settings??)

So can someone please explain to me why facebook "suggested friends" comes up with people from my past who I have never been facebook friends with, but have only emailed (and in one case a person I'd only texted, and I've never provided fb my phone number)?

I can't help wondering if these "suggested friends" pop up when THEY'VE been searching for ME. Based on who these people are and what our relationships were like, and the timing of when they appeared on my fb, it's possible they've looked me up out of curiosity.

If that's the case, how dare facebook be so creepy and let them find me, and show their pictures on my screen? It's unsettling in my case, like a mild horror movie to see these people from my troubled past. Of course that's a huge reason I despise facebook, it's creepy.

Last edited by Zelpha; 05-10-2016 at 04:17 PM..
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Old 05-10-2016, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Wandering.
3,545 posts, read 5,677,644 times
Reputation: 2654
Most likely they are friends of friends. It should show you how many mutual friends you have. It's also possible that you belong to the same groups (like a high school, home town group, etc).
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Old 05-10-2016, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,474 posts, read 1,754,869 times
Reputation: 3228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skunk Workz View Post
Most likely they are friends of friends. It should show you how many mutual friends you have. It's also possible that you belong to the same groups (like a high school, home town group, etc).
Facebook does suggest a lot of fof's who I have no idea who they are, but these particular 5 acquaintances from my past aren't fof's or in any of my fb groups. We have nothing in common. They're only from my email & texting from a few years ago.

The two I'm most stunned by are:

1) an employer at a place I almost worked at a couple years ago. She popped up yesterday on my "suggested friends" list after I was just hired at a different location of the same company. I gave enough info to my employers that word would've gotten back to her that I'm rejoining the company. Seeing her pop up on my facebook yesterday is a fairly compelling indication that she must have looked me up.

2) a gorgeous married man I was tempted by a few years ago after my divorce. I have no connection to him other than a few texts & phone calls a few years ago. And now there's his picture looking back at me on facebook

Again, I told facebook NOT to sync my email or phone number. Either they synched them anyway without my permission, or a few people have been looking me up.

I'm not paranoid, I'm just a private person and I want to get to the bottom of facebook's shenanigans.
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Old 05-11-2016, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
11,815 posts, read 13,954,365 times
Reputation: 8047
You are being paranoid. But that's OK. Really you are worrying about nothing. It's all algorithms. It's FB trying to suck you in, get you more involved. It's not because someone is searching for you or FB is spying on you.

Facebook sees you live in xxx city. That you are friends with these certain people. 3 of these certain people happen to be friends with this person. Maybe you know him?

Just ignore it.
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Old 05-11-2016, 09:06 AM
 
13,299 posts, read 14,559,729 times
Reputation: 37133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peregrine View Post
You are being paranoid. But that's OK. Really you are worrying about nothing. It's all algorithms. It's FB trying to suck you in, get you more involved. It's not because someone is searching for you or FB is spying on you.

Facebook sees you live in xxx city. That you are friends with these certain people. 3 of these certain people happen to be friends with this person. Maybe you know him?

Just ignore it.
Hmmmm....so it's all just algorithms, and I believe that. I think the basic problem is that some people want a degree of control over their FB presence that FB is not going to allow them.

Judging from the large number of complaints, there are people who don't want their names bandied around. They want control over their privacy.....and they ain't getting what they want, nor are they ever likely too.

So, you give up something to stay on FB, or you get off FB. I got off, and have wondered why I ever got on.
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Old 05-11-2016, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,474 posts, read 1,754,869 times
Reputation: 3228
Ok but the fact that a former potential employer suddenly popped up at the very same time I was re-hired by the company she represents IS NOT A MATTER OF ALGORITHMS.
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Old 05-11-2016, 09:30 AM
 
Location: USA
7,778 posts, read 10,348,912 times
Reputation: 11734
In my opinion, facebook tries to take over and force me to do certain things I don't want to do. It is so irritating. I wish they would stop trying to find "friends" for me. I do not need nor want their help. I'm only there to see the photos of the children in my family.
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Cary, NC
34,277 posts, read 59,597,037 times
Reputation: 33307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi3 View Post
In my opinion, facebook tries to take over and force me to do certain things I don't want to do. It is so irritating. I wish they would stop trying to find "friends" for me. I do not need nor want their help. I'm only there to see the photos of the children in my family.
FB is not a service entity. FB is a profit-oriented business, and nothing more.
They will mine your privacy in any way they can, because a failure to continue to grow, or to continue to increase the pace of growth, will be the kiss of death.

I have been sucked into FB a bit more than I ever intended, and routinely consider just backing out of it as it becomes less and less useful.
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
11,815 posts, read 13,954,365 times
Reputation: 8047
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelpha View Post
Ok but the fact that a former potential employer suddenly popped up at the very same time I was re-hired by the company she represents IS NOT A MATTER OF ALGORITHMS.
I'm telling you it IS. It's a coincidence. FB doesn't know you almost took a job there. Searching for someone does NOT prompt a "Do you know this person....". That would be a very messy situation for FB as attorneys I work with often look up parties in a lawsuit on Facebook. That would be pretty horrific if they got a "Do you know THIS ATTORNEY THAT IS CHECKING YOUR PAGE TO SEE IF YOUR A DRUNKEN IDIOT"...

When I started with FB many years ago I gave them Name, Birthday and Month, not year, and home city. That is all,
Over the years FB has learned (unofficially, by association) a lot about me.
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Old 05-11-2016, 12:32 PM
 
1,294 posts, read 630,030 times
Reputation: 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peregrine View Post
I'm telling you it IS. It's a coincidence. FB doesn't know you almost took a job there. Searching for someone does NOT prompt a "Do you know this person....". That would be a very messy situation for FB as attorneys I work with often look up parties in a lawsuit on Facebook. That would be pretty horrific if they got a "Do you know THIS ATTORNEY THAT IS CHECKING YOUR PAGE TO SEE IF YOUR A DRUNKEN IDIOT"...

When I started with FB many years ago I gave them Name, Birthday and Month, not year, and home city. That is all,
Over the years FB has learned (unofficially, by association) a lot about me.
There has been a lot of stuff surfacing recently about FB employees manually suppressing pro-conservative media and selecting pro-liberal media to be "trending." The story going 'round is that the "trending" topics are actually manually selected by FB employees and not trending because of the massive hype around them.

Not really related but interesting nonetheless.


Back to the question at hand, yes it's weird that your almost-employer showed up. I'm more inclined to think it's due to something like same city + works at same place.
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