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Old 02-15-2017, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,209,777 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lottamoxie View Post
Well that's quite a feat since I'm a middle-age woman getting close(r) to retirement myself.


Never said it was, but obviously if someone thinks they're going to be able to consistently get 10% - 20% return they're going to be taking bigger risks to consistently get those returns. Do you agree? I'm not thinking about her allocation because the investment advisor is the one who is being paid to think about it. I talked to him for the *first* time in 2.5 years. As I posted above, I had (note: past tense) been hands-off, not watching my mom's investments so I wouldn't get obsessed and start meddling.

My mother is turning 89 this year (not 70 as some have posted). Her expenses are well-calculated and holding steady. *IF* or *WHEN* she eventually needs nursing care or an aide she'll get it. She doesn't need it now, she is fully mobile, able to care for herself, and has her sister nearby.



You are making a ton of assumptions without knowing anything about the situation. My estimate of returns needed are not a shot in the dark.
Then you're not expressing yourself very well. You may have information but you're not sharing it with us - so what you're saying DOES sound like a shot in the dark. And if you're nearly retired you should know that returns aren't the only measure of risk and risk is certainly important in your mother's case. So give all this info up front and you might get better advice.
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Old 02-15-2017, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,612 posts, read 21,153,534 times
Reputation: 13662
The first question that should have been asked is, what are the chances that Mom is going to run out of money if she doesn't get better returns? Because if there's no risk of her outliving her assets I see no reason for you to get involved.

The fact that she's not doing as well as she could is irrelevant if she's doing as well as she needs to and is happy with that.
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Old 02-15-2017, 07:06 PM
 
17,620 posts, read 15,321,679 times
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Well it all depends on how long mom lives and if she needs to go into a skilled nursing care facility or assisted living facility at some point. She does not have long term health insurance coverage. She will be 89 in a few months. She has enough for herself, but her stated desire to her advisor is she wants to leave as much as possible as an inheritance to me. She is happy enough because she doesn't think about things. Remains to be seen what her estate ends up with *if* she needs a nursing home or nursing care at some point.

I'm not going to give out her investment amounts on the Interwebs.

If I were doing the investing for her, I'd have her in a 40/60 or 35/65 allocation on the low end, and put her in a few Vanguard Index funds and also a bit in Wellington Fund.
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Old 02-16-2017, 09:39 AM
 
Location: NJ
31,771 posts, read 40,488,258 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lottamoxie View Post
Well it all depends on how long mom lives and if she needs to go into a skilled nursing care facility or assisted living facility at some point. She does not have long term health insurance coverage. She will be 89 in a few months. She has enough for herself, but her stated desire to her advisor is she wants to leave as much as possible as an inheritance to me. She is happy enough because she doesn't think about things. Remains to be seen what her estate ends up with *if* she needs a nursing home or nursing care at some point.

I'm not going to give out her investment amounts on the Interwebs.

If I were doing the investing for her, I'd have her in a 40/60 or 35/65 allocation on the low end, and put her in a few Vanguard Index funds and also a bit in Wellington Fund.
at 89, if her main concern is what she passes to children then i would hope she would be looking to transfer money and assets now. if possible, you may as well make her eligible for medicaid, perhaps speak to an attorney that specializes in elder law.
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Old 02-16-2017, 10:53 AM
 
17,620 posts, read 15,321,679 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
at 89, if her main concern is what she passes to children then i would hope she would be looking to transfer money and assets now. if possible, you may as well make her eligible for medicaid, perhaps speak to an attorney that specializes in elder law.
We went through the whole elder law dance with a specialty elder law attorney right before and after my dad passed. She and my father had a revocable trust, which was updated after he passed. All her assets are in the trust. She refused to sign a non-revocable trust, no matter how much the attorney or I encouraged her to do that for the Medicaid advantage on preserving assets; she insists on retaining full control of her assets/estate and doesn't care about the consequences.

She also will *not* transfer any assets to me while she's alive; no amount of reasoning with her on why it's a smart thing to do will persuade. My mother is a control-freak about certain things, even things she doesn't understand. She ultimately cares more about that than what she passes on to her 1 remaining child (me). Her sister is the trustee of her trust and has control over my mom's health care directive.
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Old 02-16-2017, 11:19 AM
 
Location: NJ
31,771 posts, read 40,488,258 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lottamoxie View Post
We went through the whole elder law dance with a specialty elder law attorney right before and after my dad passed. She and my father had a revocable trust, which was updated after he passed. All her assets are in the trust. She refused to sign a non-revocable trust, no matter how much the attorney or I encouraged her to do that for the Medicaid advantage on preserving assets; she insists on retaining full control of her assets/estate and doesn't care about the consequences.

She also will *not* transfer any assets to me while she's alive; no amount of reasoning with her on why it's a smart thing to do will persuade. My mother is a control-freak about certain things, even things she doesn't understand. She ultimately cares more about that than what she passes on to her 1 remaining child (me). Her sister is the trustee of her trust and has control over my mom's health care directive.
if this is the case, it doesnt really seem like there is much you can do. you guys have a rocky relationship?
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Old 02-16-2017, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,209,777 times
Reputation: 50367
Quote:
Originally Posted by lottamoxie View Post
Well it all depends on how long mom lives and if she needs to go into a skilled nursing care facility or assisted living facility at some point. She does not have long term health insurance coverage. She will be 89 in a few months. She has enough for herself, but her stated desire to her advisor is she wants to leave as much as possible as an inheritance to me. She is happy enough because she doesn't think about things. Remains to be seen what her estate ends up with *if* she needs a nursing home or nursing care at some point.

I'm not going to give out her investment amounts on the Interwebs.

If I were doing the investing for her, I'd have her in a 40/60 or 35/65 allocation on the low end, and put her in a few Vanguard Index funds and also a bit in Wellington Fund.
Seems like quite a conflict of interest. If she is so set on giving you an inheritance why is she not amenable to turning the reins over to you? Or maybe just have you manage the portion leftover after funding an annuity large enough to cover her expenses?

Last edited by reneeh63; 02-16-2017 at 12:06 PM..
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Old 02-16-2017, 11:47 AM
 
26,152 posts, read 21,387,601 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
if this is the case, it doesnt really seem like there is much you can do. you guys have a rocky relationship?
If they didn't before it certainly could easily turn rocky when person A keeps telling person B over and over again what they need to do when person B doesn't agree with it.
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Old 02-16-2017, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,612 posts, read 21,153,534 times
Reputation: 13662
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
if this is the case, it doesnt really seem like there is much you can do. you guys have a rocky relationship?
I agree. I don't get the feeling that her risk of running out of money is all that high, so for the sake of preserving the relationship I think I'd let it go.
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Old 02-16-2017, 11:53 AM
 
17,620 posts, read 15,321,679 times
Reputation: 26388
It's a complicated relationship, always has been. My mother is extremely controlling and anxious and easily overwhelmed. There is no amount of persuasion that could ever overcome her stubbornness; she would never take my advice and would listen only on things she wants to listen to. She'll listen to her sister before she'll listen to me, but on the matter of a non-revocable trust or transferring assets she's not going to budge and that's that.
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