How to connect to people in Cedar Rapids (Colo: rent, loan)

[ImLooking4friends]

I have been back to Cedar Rapids for about five years now. I think I am one of the nicest people I know. I am looking for friends who are loyal, goal oriented, optimistic, non judgmental, kind, and just plain nice.

I am finding that when I do things for people like bring them welcome baskets when they move into the neighborhood they are knocking on my door asking for everything from food, cash, rides… you name it. I don’t mind helping someone in a fix. I do mind when I am being used or when my kindness or friendly nature is expected or viewed as an easy target. In all fairness, it could be the neighborhood I live in. I live on the SE side in the Wellington Heights area.

I just do not think that people should be without friends or lonely when the world is so full of people. With that in my mind, I thought I would share a few thoughts that I thought might be helpful for others who like me are looking to form lasting friendships with like minded people.

1. Make sure it is friends you are looking for. Love and sex are two different departments. (I am looking for friends… not lovers.)

2. Look for people who have their own money and do not need or want yours. This is a two way street. Make sure you are looking for friends for the sake of friendship… not for what they can do for you or give you. (I want to be there for my friends when they need me or want something. I just don’t want them to be too needy or clingy. I will respond in like.)

3. Be open to all kinds of people. Let them know what your guidelines are for being your friend. The more restrictions you place, the fewer people you will find who want to be your friend. (I am not into sports or crafts and a number of different things. But if someone else is and I like that person, I enjoy sharing their interests. That’s what friends do. I do not care how young or old you are, what your sexual preferences are, what religion or color you are or anything else like that. I only care about how you treat me and others in general.)

4. As with any relationship (business, romantic, etc.) communication is key. Let people know up front what you are looking for, how you resolve differences, what your interests are, what turns you on or off about people. (I have a problem with people who are prejudiced against, color, sexual preference, people who are pushy about their religious beliefs, people who want you to be their friend so that you can join their ‘down line’ in MLM or network marketing. I do not want super needy friends or friends who cry the blues about their problems or bills. The kind of people who often are telling you they do not know what they are going to do about their overdue rent or other bill. These are the same people who call and let you know they have nothing in the fridge. There are services for these things. I want people who need people… not people who need people’s money or constant favors. I have a friend who always cries the blues and actually says things like; “If you come and see me I’ll let you take me out to lunch.” And; “If you could send me just ten dollars a month and if all my friends would do this it would really help me.” I like people who wait for me to ask or do something I see needs to be done for them.

5. Real friends know when you are in need and are quick to act if they can. They do not need to be hounded day in and day out. To ask a friend for something should be done so sparingly. To offer to do something for a friend should be done often. (I like to be asked when a friend is in need. I don’t like that need to be on a daily basis. I like to help my friends. I like it that they are there if I need someone to vent my feelings to or to get feedback from. I do not look view my friends as a bank, Check into cash center or my local food pantry.)

6. It has been written that true friendship is nothing more than one soul inhabiting two bodies. I like that. But true friendship can be having a friend you like seeing or hearing from every day or someone you see once every few weeks or couple of months and you are still just as close as the everyday friend.

I have been to neighborhoods where the people are shouting hellos, exchanging information and act like a group of friends who all got together and decided to buy their homes on the same block. What I wouldn’t give to live in one of those neighborhoods.

Friends do not EVER become involved with another persons, significant other (girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, lover, or even take over and hoard in on someone else’s best friend.

Friends are not needy, greedy, do not cry the blues about their unlucky or difficult life in an effort to gain favors, money or sacrifices of time.

Friends are equals. If anything… a true friend will try to always do more for you, not get more out of you.

I am talented, full of knowledge and wisdom, loyal, caring, generous and kind. I like you for how you treat me, not for what is in your past, what you look like, own or what you believe or do not believe. Anyone looking for a friend like that? I don’t care how different you are or if you could really use a lot of advice and help on getting ahead in this life. I would love to help you … as long as it is not connected to my bank account. I would rather give someone money than loan it. Borrowing and loaning can kill a friendship faster than just about anything when it isn’t paid back or the person has to run their money down and then be made to feel guilty for even asking to be paid back.

I dislike bars and clubs but would go with a friend or friends if I was overruled and I would have a good time. I do not attend church but have friends who do. They don’t try to convert me and I do not disrespect their beliefs.

So… anybody out there looking for another friend? I could use a few more. Email me at gaspdesign@earthlink.net (write ‘RE: Friends’ in the subject line so it doesn’t get tossed out as spam.

Warm Regards,
Joseph