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Old 04-09-2012, 04:25 PM
 
652 posts, read 1,048,549 times
Reputation: 666

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffredo View Post
I worked in Des Moines right out of college (started my job in early September). I made a good friend at work really quickly - also a recent graduate who was born and raised in Des Moines. He still lived with his parents and I went over there a dozen times. His folks were really nice and were very hospitable to me. Thanksgiving was rolling around and I was making plans to fly home. He said "Why knock yourself out with all that travel for four days?" Just come over and eat at my house. I asked if it was O.K. with his family and he said "Of course!". The Monday before Thanksgiving I get a call from his mother. We chit-chatted for a bit and I told her I'd see her that Thursday and thanks for the invite. She said "Well, Thanksgiving is kind of a family only thing for us, I'm sorry". Apparently it wasn't O.K. with them. My friend was mortified his mother would say something like that bluntly, but I was left with the prospect of Thanksgiving alone in a strange city.

I called my uncle and aunt in Oklahoma City and asked if I could drive down there for Thanksgiving (11 hrs!) and of course they said come on down. I had only seen them and my cousins twice in my life, but they fell all over themselves making me welcome. I told them what had happened and they were kind of shocked and said they would have never done that to one of their kids friends. My aunt said in her Oklahoma drawl, "I guess they do things differently up there!".

Sorry for your experience, but surely you don't think what one family did represents all of "up there"?
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Old 04-14-2012, 04:59 PM
 
1,724 posts, read 1,465,612 times
Reputation: 780
There are plenty of nice and friendly Iowans, but I have never seen so many under-appreciated folks in my life. There are a lot of ungrateful people in this state.
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Old 04-14-2012, 08:03 PM
 
28,803 posts, read 47,491,814 times
Reputation: 37905
Mind your manners, boy! If you don't I'll tell you that you aren't!

We're polite because grandma made us toe the line.
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Old 04-15-2012, 03:57 AM
 
1,724 posts, read 1,465,612 times
Reputation: 780
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tek_Freek View Post
We're polite because grandma made us toe the line.
IOW, you are polite since you got your manners beaten into you.
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Old 04-16-2012, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Des Moines, Iowa
2,401 posts, read 4,325,927 times
Reputation: 1464
Quote:
Originally Posted by A Common Anomaly View Post
IOW, you are polite since you got your manners beaten into you.
Spare the rod, spoil the...
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Old 04-16-2012, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,611 posts, read 21,142,744 times
Reputation: 13662
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fleur66 View Post
Sorry for your experience, but surely you don't think what one family did represents all of "up there"?
My thoughts were the same as yours when I first read the post, but I think he was actually poking fun at the family member who made the generalization.

I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt because I want to be seen as one of the nice Iowans.
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Old 05-21-2012, 12:55 PM
 
3 posts, read 14,277 times
Reputation: 19
I've heard of this being termed "an iron fist in a velvet glove." Perhaps it relates to the mindset that Iowans are nice and friendly but don't think that means one can cross their line or take advantage or that anything goes ha.
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Old 05-25-2012, 11:07 AM
 
1,724 posts, read 1,465,612 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by capitalcityguy View Post
Spare the rod, spoil the...
You need the rod....but have at it.
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Old 05-25-2012, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Stephenville, Texas
1,072 posts, read 1,785,749 times
Reputation: 2238
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffredo View Post
I worked in Des Moines right out of college (started my job in early September). I made a good friend at work really quickly - also a recent graduate who was born and raised in Des Moines. He still lived with his parents and I went over there a dozen times. His folks were really nice and were very hospitable to me. Thanksgiving was rolling around and I was making plans to fly home. He said "Why knock yourself out with all that travel for four days?" Just come over and eat at my house. I asked if it was O.K. with his family and he said "Of course!". The Monday before Thanksgiving I get a call from his mother. We chit-chatted for a bit and I told her I'd see her that Thursday and thanks for the invite. She said "Well, Thanksgiving is kind of a family only thing for us, I'm sorry". Apparently it wasn't O.K. with them. My friend was mortified his mother would say something like that bluntly, but I was left with the prospect of Thanksgiving alone in a strange city.

I called my uncle and aunt in Oklahoma City and asked if I could drive down there for Thanksgiving (11 hrs!) and of course they said come on down. I had only seen them and my cousins twice in my life, but they fell all over themselves making me welcome. I told them what had happened and they were kind of shocked and said they would have never done that to one of their kids friends. My aunt said in her Oklahoma drawl, "I guess they do things differently up there!".
How incredibly rude! And for Thanksgiving...when we celebrate as Americans. Did your friend ever tell you what he said to his mother? I can't imagine her actually calling you up and "uninviting" you! Glad it worked out and you got to see your Aunt and Uncle. Having spent several Thanksgivings alone, I know how lonely it is not being near family then.
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Old 04-01-2013, 08:44 PM
 
119 posts, read 241,788 times
Reputation: 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago60614 View Post
I went to visit her and it all seemed a little more conformist - as opposed to Iowa where growing up it was a lot more live and let live. I'll live my life and you're free to live yours. Of course people tended to conform on a general level, but as far as things like having lesbian neighbors or friends/family/neighbors who weren't religious - that wasn't really cared about. As long as they weren't causing crazy harm to everyone and everything, then whatever floats your boat.
I couldn't have had a more opposite experience in Iowa. If you don't do what the other 50 kids in your graduating class do, you are pretty much shunned. "Live and let live" seems very opposite to the nosiness I experienced in small town Iowa, everyone had opinions about how everyone else was doing everything wrong and they always know best.

Pretty much switch north and south in your post and it matches my experiences exactly
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