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Old 01-02-2013, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
8,881 posts, read 15,703,811 times
Reputation: 11463

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Quote:
Originally Posted by marilyn220 View Post
You're right and I will admit that I am "puzzled" by why she didn't find the things he said to be a form of sexual harassment. She clearly says that she didn't when questioned.
Part of it is the desensitizing of sexual innuendo over the last several years. We're hammered with sexually provocative images and statements from every corner of our lives these days, so words and phrases that would have once been considered overt sexual advances are frequently considered part of everyday casual conversation. The difference in age might be a key here, as well. While he may have believed that his intentions were obvious, she may have thought nothing of it.

Another factor may be that it started innocently enough and ramped up so gradually that she didn't realize things had changed. Think of the old illustration about the frog being dropped into a pot of boiling water versus the frog dropped in a pan of lukewarm water that is then heated to boiling.

Quote:
She also says she considered him a 'father figure', but with the sexually offensive statements he makes to you, how do you consider that "fatherly"?
Sure it's fatherly, in a Jessica Simpson's father-ish way.

Quote:
Women know from a very young age when a man is hitting on them or being inappropriate. I understand she NEEDED the job due to her family situation, but she sued for the WRONG thing. He did replace her with another woman, so saying she got fired for being a "woman" made no sense.
I don't think it's all that deep, really. My guess is she saw the opportunity for a nice settlement and it just didn't work out the way she hoped.

Quote:
Originally Posted by orthosophy View Post
ALSO - all reports say that this was a reciprocated relationship. The man's wife gave him an ultimatum, and, as a man who supports keeping your promises, if not the overblown social institution of marriage, the doctor decided that he WANTED to stay married. Is everyone complaining single or just hypocritical?
If both parties were employees of a third party and this situation developed, it would be his responsibility - being the party feeling the temptation - to remove himself for the situation and find employment elsewhere. But since he is the business owner he really didn't have any option to get out of the situation other than to let her go short of closing his practice.
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Old 01-02-2013, 02:44 PM
 
6,385 posts, read 10,405,264 times
Reputation: 6534
Quote:
Originally Posted by duster1979 View Post
If both parties were employees of a third party and this situation developed, it would be his responsibility - being the party feeling the temptation - to remove himself for the situation and find employment elsewhere. But since he is the business owner he really didn't have any option to get out of the situation other than to let her go short of closing his practice.
This is correct.

FWIW, I think most people would agree that his reasoning is idiotic, and you would hope someone could have enough self control to not act on any sort of urges. It speaks to his character and professionalism (or lack thereof) that he feels that this is the best option. And while he can't (and shouldn't) be punished for this from a legal standpoint, I am certain that the court of public opinion has already ruled against him, and he will most likely see some of his clients leave. That will be his punishment.

For the woman -- yes, I do feel sorry for her. But what exactly be the best course of action here? If she continues to be employed there, this weak man might not be able to resist temptation, and he would have two matters on his hands -- a likely sexual harassment claim from her, and a likely divorce from his wife. Two matters that would likely mean the end for his practice...which would have the side effect of forcing his clients to find a new dentist.

It's a no-win situation, but on legal grounds, a small business owner should not be forced to retain an employee if there is some sort of conflict.


Flip the situation around. Say the boss is an older female, and has an attractive male assistant (perhaps not a common situation, but one that I'm sure exists in some fields). Would the same conclusion not be drawn? I can't imagine it would create the same media storm...but was this decision simply made to protect the rights of small businessmen? I think not. It just so happens that it is more common for the business owner to be male rather than female. And honestly, you can probably remove the "attractive" label as well...because this situation could take place regardless of whether the employee was attractive by our standards or not. It's easy to spot age or race discrimination. But who judges attractiveness? I think that is in the eye of the beholder.
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Old 01-02-2013, 08:33 PM
 
27,014 posts, read 38,265,527 times
Reputation: 34970
Quote:
Originally Posted by RonnieJonez View Post
Iowans are generally quick to say things like "While I don't support the KKK, I do support their rights to protest!"

This is no different.

Someone dare say Iowa is boring - now there's a problem. Defcon 1.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nashvols View Post
What are you supposed to say? "I support freedom of speech except when I don't agree with it"?

Sounds very progressive.
Those of us familiar with RJ's methods recognize that the KKK comment is secondary to the comment about Iowa. It's the main thrust of almost all his posts. He has that chip on his shoulder for some reason and just has a burning desire to hammer his one-sided points home at any opportunity.
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Old 01-02-2013, 09:16 PM
 
6,385 posts, read 10,405,264 times
Reputation: 6534
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tek_Freek View Post
Those of us familiar with RJ's methods recognize that the KKK comment is secondary to the comment about Iowa. It's the main thrust of almost all his posts. He has that chip on his shoulder for some reason and just has a burning desire to hammer his one-sided points home at any opportunity.
Oh, I'm familiar with RJ and his obsession with authentic liberal progressivism (and why most Midwestern cities are posers, or whatever). I was just making a point on freedom of speech. Guess I can't help it.
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Old 01-02-2013, 09:55 PM
 
1,911 posts, read 3,152,661 times
Reputation: 910
Like I said, the Bloom article was a much bigger deal. So is whatever Ferentz does.
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:31 AM
 
27,014 posts, read 38,265,527 times
Reputation: 34970
Quote:
Originally Posted by nashvols View Post
Oh, I'm familiar with RJ and his obsession with authentic liberal progressivism (and why most Midwestern cities are posers, or whatever). I was just making a point on freedom of speech. Guess I can't help it.
Making the point about freedom of speech is always welcome. I share your opinion on the subject.
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:44 PM
 
11,026 posts, read 21,633,207 times
Reputation: 10669
Quote:
Originally Posted by marilyn220 View Post
Um, I don't "troll".

Why do people call others "trolls" when they don't like something they post? Never fails.

Fascinating.
......because they're....trolls? You honestly don't understand that 20 people have very easily called you out on everything you've said and you still wander back with these silly comments like a broken record cause don't want to have to acknowledge what you're saying is very embarrassing as a woman??? I feel like I'm trying to have a debate with Snookie.
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:58 PM
 
6,474 posts, read 10,068,105 times
Reputation: 6331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago60614 View Post
......because they're....trolls? You honestly don't understand that 20 people have very easily called you out on everything you've said and you still wander back with these silly comments like a broken record cause don't want to have to acknowledge what you're saying is very embarrassing as a woman??? I feel like I'm trying to have a debate with Snookie.
You know what?

I did let this thread die, because a couple of posters made some valid points about some possible type of miscommunication between the two of them due to an age gap.

I stopped talking about it, because there ARE unanswered questions that need to be answered in their relationship that wasn't answered in the article.

She needs to be interviewed by Oprah or Barbara Walters as to how for ten years she could NOT see that he was attracted to her. She was with him for ten years, so when did all of this "innocent" and "inappropriate" sexual flirtation start? Why didn't she feel uncomfortable by it?

The man was a skeeve.

I want more answers and I'm not going to comment anymore about it until SHE answers them. I don't want to hear from the pervert dentist and his wife. I want to hear HER speak about it.

I'm surprised interview offers haven't been pouring into her after this case.

So until that time, I'm going to put this case on pause..for now.
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Old 01-05-2013, 09:22 PM
 
165 posts, read 362,812 times
Reputation: 152
Quote:
Originally Posted by marilyn220 View Post
Is Iowa going to be our first Taliban state?
Religious Christian bigotry much?

Move to Europe where the Secularist Marxists reign supreme and Muslims (the actual Taliban) are taking over society.
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Old 01-06-2013, 01:38 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,121 posts, read 8,262,561 times
Reputation: 9518
Quote:
Originally Posted by marilyn220 View Post
Well, thanks for setting women's sexual harassment laws back to the 1960s.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

PICTURED: The assistant Melissa Nelson fired by dentist because she was 'irresistably attractive' and 'threat to his marriage' | GA Daily News



So, he basically sexually harassed HER and since she didn't put out, he gets to fire her without repercussion. Wow.
While I don't agree with the firing don't use words like "Taliban" in the title. That's being overly dramatic. Iowa hasn't started making women wear burqas, making them stay inside, beating them for violating religious norms, and not allowing them to go to school.
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