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Old 11-13-2007, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Omaha, Ne
884 posts, read 112,831 times
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I agree, interracial couples aren't that uncommon but White man and Black Woman seems very uncommon to me.

In Omaha blacks are reluctant to marry white people (or date for that matter) because they are viewed upon as "Sellouts" in the black community.
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Old 11-13-2007, 03:23 PM
 
1,838 posts, read 1,966,164 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El Rhino View Post
Who's "with the times" then?
LA, Chicago, NY, Las Vegas, Miami - in terms of nightlife, diversity and cultural opportunity. You just don't have those things in Iowa, that doesn't take rocket science to figure out and shouldn't upset you. Yes, an interracial couple regardless of what races are together will be stared at more in Iowa than diverse places, but some will still be stared at in diverse places to be fair. That shouldn't be a suprise.

Obviously you'd like another tit-for-tat argument. Iowa is simply behind those places. Some of the "clubs" in Des Moines still think Montel Jordan implies new music.
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Old 11-13-2007, 04:17 PM
 
Location: Des Moines, IA
1,744 posts, read 4,987,108 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve_W View Post

In Omaha blacks are reluctant to marry white people (or date for that matter) because they are viewed upon as "Sellouts" in the black community.

Here it seems like the opposite, where it seems like you rarely see a black man with a black woman.

RonnieJonez, you know you still like "This Is How We Do It".
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Old 11-13-2007, 06:11 PM
 
9,184 posts, read 13,723,438 times
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I lived in Iowa for 22 years before moving to Chicago. I think people in Iowa would stare more because it's something unusual and new as far as what they're use to seeing.

I would be hesitant though to think all these Iowans are disapproving of you. I think it's more staring because it's different and new, not because they think it's wrong or are giving you dirty looks. Compared to the other 48 states I've visited, I don't see Iowans as very racist. Mostly just naive, but fairly open.
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Old 11-13-2007, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Des Moines, IA
1,744 posts, read 4,987,108 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago60614 View Post

I would be hesitant though to think all these Iowans are disapproving of you. I think it's more staring because it's different and new, not because they think it's wrong or are giving you dirty looks. Compared to the other 48 states I've visited, I don't see Iowans as very racist. Mostly just naive, but fairly open.

Exactly. I've never been to Lisbon, Iowa before but I'm sure that town is a little low on African-Americans so seeing one, especially with a white guy, is going to be something noteworthy enough to look twice.
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Old 11-13-2007, 11:44 PM
 
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I'm a white guy and in a relationship with an African-American.........guy.

Now that's something to stare at! People shouldn't be surprised at any male/female combination these days. There really are some not with the times places out there!
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Old 11-14-2007, 08:20 AM
 
Location: Omaha, Ne
884 posts, read 112,831 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El Rhino View Post
Exactly. I've never been to Lisbon, Iowa before but I'm sure that town is a little low on African-Americans so seeing one, especially with a white guy, is going to be something noteworthy enough to look twice.
LOL, yeah it probably made the local newspaper.
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Old 11-14-2007, 09:10 AM
 
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Just looked it up! Lisbon/Mt Vernon (they're attached, total pop about 5,200)

29 black people
26 asian people
50 hispanics

So yeah, I think it is quite rare to see minorities in Lisbon.

Honestly though, Linn County and Johnson County (Lisbon is pretty close to the border) have 8,147 black people, 7,199 asians and 5,508 hispanics.

So it's not like you ONLY see white people. It is 2007 after all, not 1950. Those stats were from 2000, and I can say from going back home to Johnson County that the past 7 years have seen a lot more minorities moving into this area.
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Old 05-06-2010, 11:26 AM
 
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Firstly, I would like to point out that the term 'backward' is often used to mean non-progressive. It does not mean that you move backwards, just that your sociological/ cultural growth is somewhat slower than what is considered the norm. And for those of you that think Iowan's are backward/ non-progressive, maybe you should visit England sometime. Or for that matter, any of the many countries in this world that are less progressive than the USA. I have been to Iowa, as my second husband haled from Westside, and is buried there, in their little cemetery next to his Grandparents. At present, I have been living in England for over a decade, and for the most part, it is as though time has stood still here for the past hundred years. Now, that is backward/ non-progressive!

Secondly, [and I speak from first-hand experience] no matter where you live in this world, there are always going to be people that are offended by interracial marriages. There will always be people that feel that they are losing their race/ culture by interbreeding, and therefore frown on it. In some cases, it is not so much that they are prejudice, but more that they believe that to preserves one's culture/ race, you must marry your own kind. My father, was such as person, and although we did not see eye to eye, I loved him until the day he died.

I am an White American. I have been married 4 times. I have been married to 4 men from different cultures, and 3 of those marriages were what is most commonly referred to as interracial marriages. My first husband was Afro-American/ Black. My second was Korean, and my third was Salvadoran. My present, and fourth husband, is a White Brit, and comes from a vastly different culture than my own.

The truth is, I have never had the common prejudices that some people seem to have, including, but not limited to, some members of my own family. I do not see color or race. I see people. I do neither fall in love with the color of a man's skin, his culture, nor his religion. I fall in love with a man. That may seem odd to some, but it really is that simple ...at least with me. If the two of you are in love, then do not let other people's opinion/ stares bother you. Instead, think to yourself, that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and simply smile back at them. You may sometime be surprised at some of the responses you may get to that smile. I was.

As one person previously pointed out in this forum, some people are just curious about you. Sometimes, what you may view as a dirty look, may just be one of confusion/ interest. On the other hand, as I stated previously, some people will indeed be upset by your relationship, for personal racial/ cultural reasons. Either way, you must realize that people indeed 'are' entitled to their own opinion. Even if you don't agree with it. However, once you adapt this attitude, then you will be surprised at the change, not only in other's around you, but also within yourself.

Please do not misunderstand me. I 'do' understand what it is like to be stared at, and even ridiculed for marrying outside my own race/ culture. And not just by Whites, but also by Blacks, Koreans, Hispanics, and even Brits as well. However, of all my interracial marriages, I have found that my marriage to a Black man was less tolerated in our modern society.

Having said that, even my marriage to my Salvadoran husband, got some fairly evil stares at times.
Not because he was Hispanic though. It was simply because he had very curly hair, and skin that would get quite dark in the Summer months. To some eyes, he could appear to be Black. lol One day, while standing in a grocery checkout line, the eye's of the white couple behind us were shooting daggers at us. But this was not worth noting. What did amazed me the most, was the change in their expressions when my husband spoke to the check-out woman, with his very thick Salvadoran accent. The facial expressions changed on everyone around us ...including the check-out woman. lol As usual, I just smiled, and even chuckled to myself. After all it was quite humorous watching the shift of expressions on these people's faces, as they realized their error. :-D

Please, allow my to bore you a little further, to tell you that only this year, I became a Great Grandmother to the most gorgeous little girl your eyes could ever behold. Allow me also to tell you, that I have four of the most beautiful children on the face of this earth, as well as 16 beautiful Grandchildren. My two eldest daughter, whom would make even Angelina Jolie cringe and hide, are by my first marriage. Next in line to the throne [lol], is my son [from my second marriage], for whom to this day, woman still swoon at his feet. Then of course, there is my lovely baby girl [now 27 and from my third marriage], whom cannot walk in public without having people contort themselves to ogle at her, because she is so beautiful. Of course, she hates it, just as I once did many years ago. :-) I dearly love all my children, my grandchildren, and my Great-Granddaughter, regardless of their skin color. They areall the gift of my life, my legacy, and my treasures.

Life is much too short to worry about what other people think of your personal choices. So, take the advice of someone, whom has lived in a time when interracial/ intercultural marriages were a lot less tolerated. Just smile and get on with living your life. If you spend too much time worrying about people's stares, you will have less time to enjoy your life. Believe me, after a while, you will be too busy to concern yourself with the stares of strangers. After all, they may not be thinking, "How dare they!", they could be thinking, "Don't those two look happy!" or "My, what an unusually lovely couple they make!", so ...smile. With all the hate and war in our world, be happy that you found the one true gift in life ...to love, and to be loved. :-D
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Old 05-06-2010, 01:41 PM
 
66 posts, read 116,799 times
Reputation: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago60614 View Post
Just looked it up! Lisbon/Mt Vernon (they're attached, total pop about 5,200)

29 black people
26 asian people
50 hispanics

So yeah, I think it is quite rare to see minorities in Lisbon.

Honestly though, Linn County and Johnson County (Lisbon is pretty close to the border) have 8,147 black people, 7,199 asians and 5,508 hispanics.

So it's not like you ONLY see white people. It is 2007 after all, not 1950. Those stats were from 2000, and I can say from going back home to Johnson County that the past 7 years have seen a lot more minorities moving into this area.
I know you'er not tring to say that Linn co. and Johnson co. combined has 8,147 blacks, and if you are, you are not telling it right,but it's your story.aftter waterloo, davenport, and des moines blacks in iowa is like a fly in a bowl of milk,but then again white iowa knowingly under-count blacks for some reason.
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