Dubuque for a middle-aged gay couple? (Des Moines, Davenport: fit in, neighborhood, living in)

[sfcrocker]

A friend has been trying to get me to go work in the Dubuque area. It seems nice enough, and the cost of living is *way* below California, but I'm wondering if gay people are accepted there?

My partner and I are pretty much an average middle-aged couple, but we're gay. We mainly work, take the dogs out for walks/runs, go biking, do the neighborhood watch, have friends over for dinners and barbecues, etc. We're fairly civic minded, not very religious, and lead a fairly calm life.

Would we fit in Dubuque? Would people merely tolerate us, or would we be able to make friends? I'm concerned because I read so many things about bad things happening to gay people in small towns.

[DTO Luv]

I don't know much about Dubuque or if that's where you're set on but there might be better places in Iowa. Des Moines would be ok. I have gay friends that are partnered there and no one bothers them.

If you're fine with something other than Dubuque I would look at the Iowa side of the Omaha metro. Omaha is big enough where people are used to gay couples (myself included). You could live in Council Bluffs and have the legal benefits and be in Omaha where its more common and people are more accepting.

[IowaTexasDC Guy]

I'm a gay man living in DM now. I've been to DBQ several times and never had a problem. Its a Catholic town, but also pretty Democratic. I know there is a small but active gay community there and a lot of exciting stuff happening around town. Its very pretty too. I really don't think you will have any problem there at all, or really anywhere in Iowa besides some pretty rural places. It is very different from the South. Plus you all can get married!!

[QuadCityImages]

In general, I'd say the far east edge of Iowa is going to be more accepting than the far east edge of Nebraska. Just comparing the largest city on each state's "east coast," Omaha vs Davenport, Davenport is a much "blue-er" city, despite being a fraction of the size of Omaha. Davenport includes sexual orientation in their anti-discrimination ordinance, whereas Omaha does not. Being one of the more accepting areas of Nebraska is a lot different than being one of the more accepting areas of Iowa.

[DTO Luv]

I find it hard to believe that even in a state without gay marriage that a city of nearly a million people would be that conservative. Omaha (especially the eastern half of the city) is left leaning unlike the rest of Nebraska.

If you read my post again I said that they could still live in Iowa and take advantage of the legal status but be near Omaha to take advantage of the cities amenities. This might make a difference depending where in CA they are coming from.

[QuadCityImages]

It depends how you want to measure it, but looking at past voting results, Omaha is more centrist/right than left leaning. Compared to the rest of Nebraska it may look left-leaning, but for example Kerry got stomped in the 2nd District in 2004, whereas he won Dubuque county 57-43. Obama won Dubuque county 55-39, whereas Douglas county went for him 51-47.

Now, there's definitely an argument to be made that political party doesn't automatically equal gay-friendliness, but all I said is that eastern Iowa is more blue than Omaha. I would suspect that its more accepting as well, but that's harder to prove outside of ordinances like I mentioned earlier. I will say that you might be surprised how progressive some of the eastern cities of Iowa are though. Being liberal compared to the rest of your red state is different than being liberal compared to the rest of a blue/purple state.

[Dbqr4ever]

I`ve lived in Dubuque for over 50 years and I think you`ll both love it. By the way I`m straight and welcome to Dubuque if you decide to relocate here.

[chicagogirl5]

I am also relocating to Dubuque and I always hear great things about the city from everyone I meet! Good luck to you!