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Old 07-15-2007, 12:48 PM
140 posts, read 565,036 times
Reputation: 68


Cactus Sam: I wonder is this ALL OF IOWA? If the entire State is as bad as you say, it sure took a long, long time for you to leave. After reading many posts on many of these Citi-data forums, I have come to the conclusion that way too many posts are downright propaganda and lies. Some are merely from ignorant posters who need to read and research a bit more before moving to a new town. And if they don't have the time, simply take responsibility for their decisions and get out of the blame game. For it's what you bring to a town, what you offer, how you make yourself useful to a community that creates the cohesion that makes any community great. It simply is not about what they can offer me, or what I can get out of it, or what I can take.
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Old 07-15-2007, 12:54 PM
140 posts, read 565,036 times
Reputation: 68
How very well said, OLIVER99! There is a wonderful book by Wanda Urbanska and Frank Levering, "Moving to a Small Town." More need to read it as regards meeting new people in a small town. By taking responsibility for our own decisions, getting out of the blame game, being filled with respect and decency for all kinds of people, having a good attitude, and knowing what one looks for in a community of which there are so many to choose from, it would become easier to "fit in." It's all in the giving and what we bring to a new town.
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Old 07-15-2007, 02:53 PM
14 posts, read 112,924 times
Reputation: 75
I don't know about all of Iowa. Just what we personally experienced living there in a few small towns/townships. And what we saw when we went to neighboring areas/towns for various reasons.

You are so right. It took us a long time to leave. We kept trying to adjust, and kept thinking we weren't trying hard enough. We tried and tried.

I'll admit we were stupid! Very stupid. I still get mad thinking about how we stupidly stayed there and kept trying to adjust when we hated it there.
Boy, we were stupid, and stubburn. We just couldn't admit what a horrible mistake we had made moving there. I'm the first to admit this!

We moved to three different counties. (All in the s/w area of the state.)
We kept thinking it's got to be better in another city.

We really wanted to live in Iowa due to the low crime, and cheap housing etc. We had planned the move for years. We were really excited about being there when we first arrived.

But, we could never adjust to the people not accepting outsiders, or to the old buildings and dirty restaurants. We just weren't used to old, old, old, old everything. We walked into a restaurant once that smelled so moldy, two of us got sick and had nosebleeds. That is just unacceptable in a business.

I'm sure if we had the foresight to move to a more upscale area like Iowa City, or West Des Moines we'd still be there. The cities seemed pretty nice.
The new Jordan Creek Mall is great, and I enjoyed going shopping in the Clive area.

But, no - we were stupid, stupid, stupid and wanted to live in a small town.
It had been a lifelong dream.

Oh, part of the delay was a family member dying of cancer and heart failure. It was kind of hard to move during that time even though we wanted to.

Then, another family member was critically injured in an accident. It took over two years for him to recover and learn to walk and speak again due to head injuries and broken bones.

Having two family members both using wheelchairs and needing constant doctor visits/hospitalizations made moving across country a dream that needed to be postponed.

Then I had to have emergency major surgery with a lengthy recovery.

We also had animals, which made it difficult to move across country. But, we eventually loaded them up and took them with us when we returned.

Plus, a house to sell in the midst of all this.

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

We should have just walked away and started over. If I had it to do over again, that's what we would have done. But, one can't undo the past. All we can do is start over, which we've done.

Finally, there was a point in time when all surviving family members were all well! We took advantage of it, and put the house for sale - and left.

If somebody, just one person can be helped by our post. That part of our life that was wasted will not be in vain.

We are happy to be back in California and will never leave here again for any reason. Even a vacation.

I still believe Iowa is OK if you are born there, and have relatives there and have never been to any other state to compare the differences.

But, to anyone that has lived in a nice place - it's just too hard of an adjustment to make.
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Old 07-15-2007, 07:44 PM
22 posts, read 138,242 times
Reputation: 27
Default Iowa is wonderful

I think Iowa is wonderful. We have lived there all our lives. We moved to Florida two years ago and hate it so are going back. Urbandale is a wonderful area (suburb of Des Moines) close to shopping malls, downtown has a lot to do. Wonderful farmers market downtown every Saturday from spring until fall. There are live bands down there and a lot to see. They Jazz in July with Jazz in all the different parks. There is Saylorville Lake which is wonderful and has wonderful campgrounds. The worse part is the winter which is normally late November to early March. There are a lot of wonderful suburbs or Beaverdale is a nice area too.
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Old 07-15-2007, 08:36 PM
639 posts, read 902,130 times
Reputation: 300
Default Cactus Sam,

You have been quite accurate in your second post.

It sounds like you had a very miserable time in Iowa. I'm very sorry to hear about your relative. If I had been living in a place that made me miserable and couldn't leave right away and had lost a loved one then I'm sure I would have felt the same way.

Though I'm glad to hear that you liked Des Moines and Iowa City. It's also great that you have settled in a place where you have found plenty of friendly people and amenities that suit your lifestyle. It's just what you make of a place really.

I'm also sorry if my posts and some others regarding your first post offended you. It's just that it had a lot of generalizations and negativity that seemed to lack a lot of specifics IMO. But if I had the same negative experiences then I might have had the same feelings toward that place.

I hope I have been rational and constructive in this post and like another poster said, "You're welcome back to Iowa anytime."
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Old 07-16-2007, 10:39 AM
140 posts, read 565,036 times
Reputation: 68
Cactus Sam -- sorry to hear about your troubles and sad experiences both in your personal life and your stay in Iowa. In what towns in the south western part of Iowa have you lived? I would dearly love to visit the State, and a relative will be moving to Iowa somewhere near the border of Minnesota, and I am curious about the areas you spoke about. But as I said in an earlier post, and having visited and stayed in many small towns, it truly all depends on what one is looking for in a town. Old houses, new houses, houses needing paint, some houses perfectly maintained -- this is all part of some older small towns. That's life. Some people prefer those towns to a closed, gated, perfectly maintained and identical housing in a suburban sprawl development -- it all depends on what one wants and then chooses. There is something for everyone. It's a big Country and world. Good luck in California!
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Old 07-16-2007, 11:00 AM
358 posts, read 873,754 times
Reputation: 134
It all boils down to "fit." Take New York City. Some people absolutely love living there and would live nowhere else. Others will whine and complain to death about what a horrible place it is. So, is NYC paradise? Or hell? It completely depends upon the individual.

Substitute Iowa for NYC, and the same situation applies. Some people simply do not "fit" in a particular area. It isn't necessarily the fault of the people or the area. Just as we don't all choose the same occupations and the same friends, we won't all choose the same place to live. Some people do not fare well in a small town, and others do not fare well in metropolises.

What's vitally important to realize is that one person's "misfit" is another person's "fit." Helping people make decisions that are best for them is to give information on the area (one grocery store in town vs 100) rather than say flat out, "I hate the hellhole" or "It's the greatest place on earth."

My experiences in life will simply not be the same experiences as others. That's really what we all need to realize.
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Old 07-16-2007, 11:37 AM
Location: Dubuque Metro, Iowa
209 posts, read 1,031,016 times
Reputation: 129
It is not the state's fault that you have had bad experiences. It is you.
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Old 07-16-2007, 11:38 AM
Location: Dubuque Metro, Iowa
209 posts, read 1,031,016 times
Reputation: 129
Iowa is a great state, and you cannot dump your problems on it. I bet if you changed your attitude, Iowa could become a much better place for you. Iowans are the nicest people I have ever come across.
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Old 07-17-2007, 01:13 AM
140 posts, read 565,036 times
Reputation: 68
ILOVEJAZZ -- I love your post! Great advice for all posters in all forums. When we begin to take responsibility for our choices in life then and only then do we realize where we will, as you so clearly state, "fit."
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