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Old 11-30-2008, 10:16 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,408 posts, read 16,488,178 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Theliberalvoice View Post
Exactly. Most Indian parents are more gentle but some are not.

Sadly, a few years ago, an Indian girl was killed in Canada for loving someone..her parents wanted an arranged marriage.

So please be careful. Some parents do kill their daughters for this.
They were Sikhs, and very wealthy.
They were probably counting on marriage to a good, stable, and well trained man who could take over the business when they got too old.
What were they to do if she married an uneducated oaf?

Of coarse, they should have trained their daughter. If she'd had a level head on her shoulders she might have seen things their way, but no, she did not date and probably had some sort of Cinderella-dreams of marriage, Sikh style, and developed what we might call a crush, but since it was forbidden, it was that much more attractive.

Anyway, Sikhs are not Muslims, nor are they your classical Hindu. Hindus consider them a religion apart, I believe.

Women should always be educated, even in 'repressive' religions. It usually results in more responsible behavior.

THe family was never brought to trial for having her and her husband murdered. They were killed back in India.
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Old 11-30-2008, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,408 posts, read 16,488,178 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MontanaGuy View Post
It's been my experience that a woman's body language is a good indicator of whether or not she is interested. If she responds with a sharp slap across the face, a gouge to the eyes or a knee to the groin then the prospects of a relationship are generally very poor. It's worth a try though.
But seriously, even if it didn't turn into a relationship and you could just become friends that would be a worthwhile thing. I think it would be interesting knowing someone from a culture that is so different than American culture.
As nations like India are modernizing at a rapid rate I hope that these outdated notions of prearranged marriages will finally go by the wayside. Being forced to marry someone you don't love or maybe even don't know seems very backwards in this day and age.
I heard that today they do prearrange, but now the children can reject the proposed spouse and the families usually accept that.
If there is inherited wealth involved the selection becomes more tricky, wanting to preserve it for future generations and perhaps build a family 'empire'.

I did not understand that concept when I was younger, but knowing how hard it is to work and save and invest and how much luck you need on top of these things, if I had that sort of money and a kid I would hate to think of it all frittered away by a dumb choice of partner - maybe someone who would eventually become divorced and getting half of everything we worked for.

I think that the wealthy must tell their kids to sew their wild oats all they like but when they marry, think of the family and tradition. Keeping kids sequestered and dumb is dangerous.
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Old 11-30-2008, 10:33 PM
 
8,743 posts, read 10,279,516 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain View Post
They were Sikhs, and very wealthy.
They were probably counting on marriage to a good, stable, and well trained man who could take over the business when they got too old.
What were they to do if she married an uneducated oaf?

Of coarse, they should have trained their daughter. If she'd had a level head on her shoulders she might have seen things their way, but no, she did not date and probably had some sort of Cinderella-dreams of marriage, Sikh style, and developed what we might call a crush, but since it was forbidden, it was that much more attractive.

Anyway, Sikhs are not Muslims, nor are they your classical Hindu. Hindus consider them a religion apart, I believe.

Women should always be educated, even in 'repressive' religions. It usually results in more responsible behavior.

THe family was never brought to trial for having her and her husband murdered. They were killed back in India.
So are you saying they are right for killing her?
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Old 12-01-2008, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,408 posts, read 16,488,178 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Theliberalvoice View Post
So are you saying they are right for killing her?
Heck, no. If they educated her and allowed her to date and taught her about sex she may very well have agreed with them.
Their idea was to treat her as cattle. Keep her stupid and dependent and she would be forced to go along with whatever they said.

They did the very worst thing, created what they most feared, and then killed her, probably without admitting that they made her that way. Rich people are not necessarily intelligent.

No. If he could have been a US citizen they probably could have run off together somewhere. But they were Canadian and there was something preventing him from being a citizen so she, I think, under pretext of visiting relatives, went back home and ran away from the relatives and married the guy. They were poor. He was killed on a regular route that he took on his bicycle daily. Brutally murdered. I forgot how they got her, but it was not long after.

Neither India nor Canada is interested in pursuing the double homicide.

I find them ignorant but also imprisoned by the dogma of their religion and culture and wealth. I am trying to see the situation a bit like they do to understand where the problems were.

I am also relaying the story because it is the reality that some people live by and if she likes him she could downplay the reaction of her parents if they are found out to be 'friends'.
I would not jeapardize her because I like her. We are casual about such things here, dating one day and not the next. These things might be really taken to heart by other cultures.
Again, she might not feel that way at all and be Americanized enough to be considering leaving the family once she gets a job. I have not heard of this, but who knows?

There are women in these countries who do not want to marry, but are forced by their parents. Some come to western countries after the marriage. There is a case of one, once she ends up in the western countries, filing for divorce. She was killed in that country by her husband. At the trial he claimed it is his religious right. He was exonerated on that basis. It may have been overturned, but the concept is that some countries are caving to the Sharia/religious freedom idea.
I find that repulsive and disgusting.

Some of these religions are so pushy, taking whatever the host country concedes to them and trying to grab more. Some countries, I think Australia and Holland among them, are requiring that each new citizen sign a loyalty oath before, stating that they will obey the civil law and if that disagrees with their religion, the civil law will trump the religious law.
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