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Old 11-26-2008, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
821 posts, read 832,436 times
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There is an islamic girl in my college class. I find her attractive and I would like to ask her on a date. She dresses in very conservative and traditional islamic attire. What are the rules of dating? Would I be wrong to ask her out?

BTW I am not muslim.
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Old 11-26-2008, 02:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Bama! View Post
There is an islamic girl in my college class. I find her attractive and I would like to ask her on a date. She dresses in very conservative and traditional islamic attire. What are the rules of dating? Would I be wrong to ask her out?

BTW I am not muslim.
I would stay away from that. I am Indian and I have a friend who is Islam.

BOTH of our cultures are very very much against dating and believe in arranged marriage. Especially if you want to date someone of a different culture or religion.

Not saying that the girl you like is the same way, but chances are, she is. Especially if she dressed conservative.

BUT, keep in mind I also come from a culture that believes in arranged marriage but am dating a Chinese person. (Yeah, Dont know how to explain this to parents if they find out..)

So it can turn out either which way but I know Islam is much more strict about these things.

Good Luck!!!!!!!
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Old 11-26-2008, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
821 posts, read 832,436 times
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Originally Posted by Theliberalvoice View Post
I would stay away from that. I am Indian and I have a friend who is Islam.

BOTH of our cultures are very very much against dating and believe in arranged marriage. Especially if you want to date someone of a different culture or religion.

Not saying that the girl you like is the same way, but chances are, she is. Especially if she dressed conservative.

BUT, keep in mind I also come from a culture that believes in arranged marriage but am dating a Chinese person. (Yeah, Dont know how to explain this to parents if they find out..)

So it can turn out either which way but I know Islam is much more strict about these things.

Good Luck!!!!!!!
She is from Bangladesh so her culture is probably influenced by India. So the combination of the 2, well lets just say that the chances seem pretty slim, I probably won't try.
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
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Out of curiosity have you actually gotten to know her a little bit or had enough conversation to get an idea of if she might be interested in dating someone from a different culture? It might seem very strange to her if you'd never even spoken before and suddenly you walk up out of the blue and ask her out. If it were me I think I would try to find some way of establishing a friendship and let her know that you're an ok guy.
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
821 posts, read 832,436 times
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Originally Posted by MontanaGuy View Post
Out of curiosity have you actually gotten to know her a little bit or had enough conversation to get an idea of if she might be interested in dating someone from a different culture? It might seem very strange to her if you'd never even spoken before and suddenly you walk up out of the blue and ask her out. If it were me I think I would try to find some way of establishing a friendship and let her know that you're an ok guy.
You're right, I should start something up first. i was just gonna ask her to have some coffee after class. Maybe I'm just being silly thinking that this could possibly work out.
America is a weird place, we live together, but not really.
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Old 11-26-2008, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
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Are you kidding? Why even ask this forum if you're not going to try? Nah.... I'm not going to let you talk yourself out of it. Just walk up to her, ask her if she'd like a cup of coffee or something and see how it goes. The worst she could possibly say is "No, thank you" or she could scream "RAPE" but other than that there is really nothing to be afraid of. Don't be scared of a woman saying "No." If she does, it's probably more for cultural reasons than anything else - and then, you still have lost absolutely NOTHING. Just do it. You might really be glad that you did one day.
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Old 11-26-2008, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
821 posts, read 832,436 times
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Originally Posted by GCSTroop View Post
Are you kidding? Why even ask this forum if you're not going to try? Nah.... I'm not going to let you talk yourself out of it. Just walk up to her, ask her if she'd like a cup of coffee or something and see how it goes. The worst she could possibly say is "No, thank you" or she could scream "RAPE" but other than that there is really nothing to be afraid of. Don't be scared of a woman saying "No." If she does, it's probably more for cultural reasons than anything else - and then, you still have lost absolutely NOTHING. Just do it. You might really be glad that you did one day.
Ok! I'll try it! Coffee time!
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Old 11-26-2008, 08:36 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,234 posts, read 14,002,635 times
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Do be a little cautious and sensitive. Indian parents tend to be more gentle, but in some of the other Middle Eastern countries they are very harsh on these matters. In fact, in these countries they still would rather kill their daughters than let them marry outside the sect. (This was confirmed to me by an Egyptian woman I know, and she's very grateful to be raising her daughters here.)

But I think you can try the coffee time thing. She knows what her limits are, and if you're taboo she will let you know up front.

Good luck.
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Old 11-26-2008, 08:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Bluesbabe View Post
Do be a little cautious and sensitive. Indian parents tend to be more gentle, but in some of the other Middle Eastern countries they are very harsh on these matters. In fact, in these countries they still would rather kill their daughters than let them marry outside the sect. (This was confirmed to me by an Egyptian woman I know, and she's very grateful to be raising her daughters here.)

But I think you can try the coffee time thing. She knows what her limits are, and if you're taboo she will let you know up front.

Good luck.
Exactly. Most Indian parents are more gentle but some are not.

Sadly, a few years ago, an Indian girl was killed in Canada for loving someone..her parents wanted an arranged marriage.

So please be careful. Some parents do kill their daughters for this.
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Old 11-27-2008, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
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It's been my experience that a woman's body language is a good indicator of whether or not she is interested. If she responds with a sharp slap across the face, a gouge to the eyes or a knee to the groin then the prospects of a relationship are generally very poor. It's worth a try though.
But seriously, even if it didn't turn into a relationship and you could just become friends that would be a worthwhile thing. I think it would be interesting knowing someone from a culture that is so different than American culture.
As nations like India are modernizing at a rapid rate I hope that these outdated notions of prearranged marriages will finally go by the wayside. Being forced to marry someone you don't love or maybe even don't know seems very backwards in this day and age.
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