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Old 01-22-2009, 11:29 PM
 
9,912 posts, read 12,471,009 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommytotwo View Post

tell me ladies, how many times have you have sex with your husbands when you really just didn't feel like it? We all have at one time or another, which leads to the question, why did you do it? I think we all know why, to get them to shut up is pretty much it. It's the only reason we'd do it if we didn't feel like it. Frankly, they were probably much happier than if we just said no. Yes it might be a sacrifice on our parts for a short period of time, but in the long run is that better for the marriage? Probably. And if you think I'm saying this only because I'm muslim, I can start a poll tomorrow of women that aren't muslim (namely my whole family) about how cranky/whiny/crabby their husbands get when they really wanted some but didn't get it. I've got one cousin that has told me she ensures a great weekend by "Saturday specials". I suppose if the man wanted sex ALL the time and the WIFE gave in ALL the time, Yes, this would get annoying as a wife. I said give and take, not give and give and give. This is where the husband would have to be considerate of his wife. (which is an islamic principle)
NEVER! I wouldn't want to be with a man that couldn't respect me or would be happy knowing that I was just putting up with his advances to placate him. I'm not a receptical for a man's desires and lack of consideration. Nor do I expect a man to tolerate the same from me. I am not the kind of person that would want to impose my need for sexual gratification on my partner if I knew he wasn't interested. To me that is give and take.
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Old 01-22-2009, 11:37 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,663 posts, read 74,604,692 times
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i dont know im not muslim but i did recently read a thread on CDF where 9 out of 10 abused women go back to the abuser when given the choice right here in america. you figure it out.
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Old 01-22-2009, 11:55 PM
 
Location: mass
2,905 posts, read 6,574,725 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
NEVER! I wouldn't want to be with a man that couldn't respect me or would be happy knowing that I was just putting up with his advances to placate him. I'm not a receptical for a man's desires and lack of consideration. Nor do I expect a man to tolerate the same from me. I am not the kind of person that would want to impose my need for sexual gratification on my partner if I knew he wasn't interested. To me that is give and take.
Wow, I'll have to take that poll then. Maybe I'll post a thread in the relationship forum.
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Old 01-22-2009, 11:57 PM
 
9,912 posts, read 12,471,009 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommytotwo View Post
Wow, I'll have to take that poll then. Maybe I'll post a thread in the relationship forum.
That would prove or change what exactly?
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Old 01-23-2009, 12:21 AM
 
Location: mass
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Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
That would prove or change what exactly?
Wouldn't prove or change anything.

But I can see where this little conversation can quickly head. "see the muslim lady said that she submits to her husband when he wants sex.", even though I said or implied nothing of the sort, I know how words are twisted.

So before anyone goes there, I'm just saying I'd like to see how many women in the general CD population have "given a little nookie" even though they didn't feel like it at the moment.
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Old 01-23-2009, 12:29 AM
 
9,912 posts, read 12,471,009 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommytotwo View Post
Wouldn't prove or change anything.

But I can see where this little conversation can quickly head. "see the muslim lady said that she submits to her husband when he wants sex.", even though I said or implied nothing of the sort, I know how words are twisted.

So before anyone goes there, I'm just saying I'd like to see how many women in the general CD population have "given a little nookie" even though they didn't feel like it at the moment.
Well it might help if you didn't bother pre-empting or assuming anything about MY preferences and opinions as they relate to you, because I didn't.
If that's ok with you, providing sex to your husband when you're not in the mood, that's your business and your decision to make. I'm quite sure that women both muslim and non-muslim alike do it all the time. I am not one of them. I was simply pointing that out to you because you said, "we all have at one time or another".

NOT ME and anecdotally neither have quite a few of the women I know.
We don't find it acceptable behaviour. Like I said, if that's ok with you, who the hell am I to tell you you're wrong.
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Old 01-23-2009, 03:25 AM
 
17,853 posts, read 12,219,988 times
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Originally Posted by sanspeur View Post
I would suggest that the whole situation is not normal....In my world women and men do not discipline each other.
Speaking of religion and discipline. There are some Christians who are into Christian Domestic Discipline (http://christiandomesticdiscipline.com/home1.html - broken link), where the husband spanks his wife if she is disobedient. (and not necessarily witht the wife's consent) They use use scripture to support the idea that the men are in charge and the wives should be submissive. Seriously.
These are not Christians just into a bit of kinky spanking either.
It makes me want to throw up a little.
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Old 01-23-2009, 05:20 AM
 
Location: downeast
473 posts, read 628,587 times
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jaymax- i was just about to ask how different is this than the 'perfect wife' in christian communities.

there are some christian churches in my area that have been spending a lot of time and resources providing books and classes studying the book the perfect wife (i dont know who wrote it). one of the women gave me a copy and suggested i read it. i read most of it, but honestly i couldnt finish it. i do know it was written by a pastors wife and basically was telling women to be subserviant to all your husbands needs wants and desires, that god created men to rule the earth and women are part of what he is to rule over. that women are here to serve man, in whatever capacity he desires.
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Old 01-23-2009, 07:06 AM
 
17,853 posts, read 12,219,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommax3plus2 View Post
jaymax- i was just about to ask how different is this than the 'perfect wife' in christian communities.

there are some christian churches in my area that have been spending a lot of time and resources providing books and classes studying the book the perfect wife (i dont know who wrote it). one of the women gave me a copy and suggested i read it. i read most of it, but honestly i couldnt finish it. i do know it was written by a pastors wife and basically was telling women to be subserviant to all your husbands needs wants and desires, that god created men to rule the earth and women are part of what he is to rule over. that women are here to serve man, in whatever capacity he desires.
Ack! Honestly any man who wants a relationship with a woman where he wants her to submit to him, obey him, put all his needs first and always be available for his sexual needs, is a self-absorbed emotionally stunted child who never grew up. Thank goodness for intelligent, emotionally mature men who want an equal as a partner.

There are plenty of Christians who believe that wives should obey their husbands and submit to them. Or that women should not be allowed to be in charge of men or to teach men. Just look at this thread in the Christian forum:

Do You Submit to your husbands as Ephesisans 5:22 teaches?
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Old 01-23-2009, 08:53 AM
 
Location: mass
2,905 posts, read 6,574,725 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
Well it might help if you didn't bother pre-empting or assuming anything about MY preferences and opinions as they relate to you, because I didn't.
If that's ok with you, providing sex to your husband when you're not in the mood, that's your business and your decision to make. I'm quite sure that women both muslim and non-muslim alike do it all the time. I am not one of them. I was simply pointing that out to you because you said, "we all have at one time or another".

NOT ME and anecdotally neither have quite a few of the women I know.
We don't find it acceptable behaviour. Like I said, if that's ok with you, who the hell am I to tell you you're wrong.
My apologies if you thought I was referring specifically to you, which I wasn't.

You are right, there is a problem when people, myself included, say " we all this or that......." Because not everyone does anything, I suppose.

Didn't mean to offend you.
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