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Old 07-03-2011, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Saudi Arabia
616 posts, read 591,111 times
Reputation: 50

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nighteyes View Post
May I share a story told to me by my mother in my early teens? (She actually named names, which I shall not do here.)

It seems there was this man who drank alcohol heavily each night. He was what many would call a "mean drunk" because, when he came home, he would verbally abuse, then beat his wife terribly. That done, he'd fall deeply asleep on their marriage bed. The wife asked, even pleaded, for him to stop, but he would not.

One day, the wife made absolutely certain that the bottom sheet on their marriage bed was brand-new and quite strong. The husband came home that night, drunk again as usual, and verbally abused and beat the wife as he had always done.

The wife waited patiently for him to fall deeply asleep on their marriage bed. Taking out her needle and thread, she folded one-half of the new bottom sheet over him, then proceded to sew the hems securely together -- top, bottom, and side.

At this point she began to beat him with the handle of the brand-new broom she also recently purchased. First he grunted, then shouted and threatened, then finally began to beg and plead. When she finally stopped whanging him and let him out of the sheet, he was black and blue all over.

He never verbally abused or beat her again.

thanks to sharing us this story

really there are many of these cases when a man is alcoholic that's the more problem on a wife.

Now, the husband have tried what was doing in his wife, so stopped violence
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Old 07-03-2011, 04:58 PM
 
4,083 posts, read 4,424,680 times
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[quote=Woodrow LI;19859267]First, the beating done within the limits defined by the Qur'an may indeed bring the husband and wife to some kind of understanding. This is not because of the pain involved, which in any case cannot be too much if the guidance in the Qur'an and Hadith are to be observed. Rather, the husband and wife may come closer together after beating because of the emotions involved. The wife may experience the depth of hurt and disturbance her nushuz is causing and if there is any love left among them may decide for that reason to change her conduct. It seems from observations of human behavior that a show of male physical energy can sometimes bring a woman out of a prolonged bad mood (5) even though this energy may be seemingly directed against her in the form of angry words or a slap, provided in this manifestation of energy there is an undercurrent of love and desire for the woman and no real harm is done to the woman. In the situation with which the present verse is dealing, it is understood that in his heart the husband does have some love and desire for the wife. For, he has the option of divorcing her but he is not taking that option. Of course, there are husbands who neither love their wives nor divorce them, but keep them to punish them or exploit them. But we are not dealing with this situation here, since the assumption is that ill-will (nushuz) is from the wife's side.



Beating is never ok.............
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Old 07-03-2011, 11:10 PM
 
439 posts, read 482,147 times
Reputation: 31
a light tap is always ok.


Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsun View Post
1 – The Qur’aan enjoins good treatment of one's wife: she is to be honoured and treated kindly, even when one no longer feels love in one's heart towards her.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good”
[al-Nisa’ 4:19]
2 – The Qur’aan explains that women have rights over their husbands, just as their husbands have rights over them.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise”
[al-Baqarah 2:228]

This verse indicates that the man has additional rights, commensurate with his role as protector and maintainer and his responsibility of spending (on his wife) etc.

3 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined kind treatment and honouring of one’s wife, and he described the best of people as those who are best to their wives. He said:

“The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”


4 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke beautiful word concerning kind treatment of one’s wife, stating that when the husband feeds his wife and puts a morsel of food in her mouth, he earns the reward of doing an act of charity. He said,

“You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife’s mouth.”


4 – And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Fear Allaah with regard to women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah and intimacy with them has become permissible to you by the words of Allaah. Your right over them is that they should not allow anyone to sit on your furniture whom you dislike; if they do that then hit them but not in a harsh manner. And their right over you is that you should provide for them and clothe them on a reasonable basis.”


What is meant by “they should not allow anyone to sit on your furniture whom you dislike” is that they should not allow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses, whether the person disliked is a man or a woman, or any of the woman’s mahrams [close relatives to whom marriage is forbidden]. The prohibition includes all of them.

The hadeeth may be understood as meaning that a man has the right to hit his wife, in a manner that is not harsh and does not cause injury if if there is a reason for that, such as her going against his wishes or disobeying him.

This is like the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”
[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

If a woman rebels against her husband and disobeys his commands, then he should follow this method of admonishing her, forsaking her in bed and hitting her. Hitting is subject to the condition that it should not be harsh or cause injury.

this means that it should not cause pain.
a light tap that leaves no mark or
a light touch by toothbrush.
the face must be avoided.


The purpose behind this is not to hurt or humiliate the woman, rather it is intended to make her realize that she has transgressed against her husband’s rights, and that her husband has the right to set her straight and discipline her.
And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
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Old 07-04-2011, 08:05 AM
 
4,083 posts, read 4,424,680 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by finalmessage View Post
a light tap is always ok.
"


No, it is not.....

To treat your wife like she is a child and in need of your corrections is not ok.

To strike is not ok even if you call it a "tap".
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Old 07-04-2011, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Victoria, BC.
30,874 posts, read 31,754,043 times
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Just when I was beginning to think that some Muslims here were progressive, I find out that they still think of women as second class humans. I'm sorely disappointed...As far as I'm concerned it is never ok to beat anyone...Wife or child.

Tell ya what Muslims, try giving one of my female family members a "light tap" and see what happens to you.
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Old 07-04-2011, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Logan Township, Minnesota
15,511 posts, read 13,276,969 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sanspeur View Post
Just when I was beginning to think that some Muslims here were progressive, I find out that they still think of women as second class humans. I'm sorely disappointed...As far as I'm concerned it is never ok to beat anyone...Wife or child.

Tell ya what Muslims, try giving one of my female family members a "light tap" and see what happens to you.
Have no fear, we are not permitted to touch the members of another person's family.

Also this "Light tap, mild beating etc" is the maximum permitted and not the required or even recommended. Many if not most Muslims do not believe in the use of physical discipline for anybody.
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Old 07-04-2011, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Saudi Arabia
616 posts, read 591,111 times
Reputation: 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by sanspeur View Post
Just when I was beginning to think that some Muslims here were progressive, I find out that they still think of women as second class humans. I'm sorely disappointed...As far as I'm concerned it is never ok to beat anyone...Wife or child.

Tell ya what Muslims, try giving one of my female family members a "light tap" and see what happens to you.

that Presence a verse in the Koran about beating women as "light tap" does not meant that it was Obligatory upon a man and wife but they are free to solve their problems as they see

Muhammad peace be upon him had been not beat his wives, and forbade the beating of women...

I hope that you come to most Muslim countries, have here and in most countries of the Gulf, even you see if the woman is beaten or even as second class humans or not


So, As long as the West thinks its self as progressive Why did I see and hear have many, many the beating of women, Violence to the extent of the kill by her husband ,father, boyfriends, so on ? ..Oh it was not as "light tap" but cruelty!!
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Old 07-04-2011, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Victoria, BC.
30,874 posts, read 31,754,043 times
Reputation: 12622
I really don't care if it is a light tap or no tap at all. Just the idea that women can be disciplined by their husbands indicates that women are considered of less value than men...That idea is repulsive to me and belongs in the past.

I see you are picking up woodrow's habit of deflection
Quote:
So, As long as the West thinks its self as progressive Why did I see and hear have many, many the beating of women, Violence to the extent of the kill by her husband ,father, boyfriends, so on ? ..Oh it was not as "light tap" but cruelty!!
There are criminals in every society, and when caught are prosecuted...That is not the same as a religion that allows and teaches that women are worth less than men.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:18 PM
 
439 posts, read 482,147 times
Reputation: 31
The purpose behind this is not to hurt or humiliate the woman,
rather it is intended to make her realize that she has transgressed against her husband’s rights, and that her husband has the right to set her straight and discipline her.


in other word to wake her up.

and rescue the marriage and the family and the house.

usualy when a husband hates his wife then he would leave her

but see what the Quran says regarding such case
“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good” The Noble Quran.
what can you understand from the above verse. ?
what i understand is even if the husband hates his wife the Quran advise him not leave her
and he will be rewarded with a great deal of good.

can you see now how the Quran aim to rescue the family.



.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:35 PM
 
4,083 posts, read 4,424,680 times
Reputation: 807
Quote:
Originally Posted by finalmessage View Post
The purpose behind this is not to hurt or humiliate the woman,
rather it is intended to make her realize that she has transgressed against her husband’s rights, and that her husband has the right to set her straight and discipline her.


in other word to wake her up.

and rescue the marriage and the family and the house.

usualy when a husband hates his wife then he would leave her

but see what the Quran says regarding such case
“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good” The Noble Quran.
what can you understand from the above verse. ?
what i understand is even if the husband hates his wife the Quran advise him not leave her
and he will be rewarded with a great deal of good.

can you see now how the Quran aim to rescue the family.



.

When you touch someone in a manner to correct them you are treating them as a child and it is a humiliation.

You cannot know what a woman feels when she is treated in such a way because you are a man.

All I see is humiliation and degradation and muslims in support of such behavior.
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