U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Islam
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-17-2010, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Pawnee Nation
7,525 posts, read 14,910,855 times
Reputation: 7014

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by eanassir View Post
Who is the leader of the family: the man or the woman?
Does the woman want her husband weaker than her, and she override him?
The man is the leader of the family, and the noble man respects and honors his woman and is kind to his family members.

This is the Quran aya 4: 34 and its interpretation:
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاء بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّهُ وَاللاَّتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا

The explanation:
(Men are the 'guides' of women,
for that God has preferred some of them [the men] to the others [: the women],
and for that they expend of their wealth.
Righteous women are therefore obedient, guarding the secret for God's guarding.
As for those [women] from whom you fear rebellion,
admonish them,
desert them in bed
and beat them;
but if they submit to you, then do not seek a way against them;
surely, God is All-High, All-Great.)

The interpretation:
>> (Men are the ' guides' of women,) It means men guide and teach their women every decency and uprightness to the guidance.

>> (for that God has preferred some of them [the men with intelligence and wisdom] to the others [: the women],)

>> (and for that they expend of their wealth. ) like the dower and the expenditure on the family.

>> (Righteous women are therefore obedient, guarding the secret for God's guarding. ) It means: the righteous woman, according to God's instructions, is chaste and she keeps the honor of her husband and does not betray him in his absence, and keeps his wealth from loss and wasting.

>> (As for those [women] from whom you fear rebellion) Some wives show herself loftier than her husband and so she does not obey him; so if you fear this may increase, then

>> (admonish them,) with kind words and advice,

>> (desert them in bed) that is by separating your bed from her bed, for a period of time: one, two or three months and that should not be more than 4 months,

>> (and beat them ) with painful beating, on condition that you should not break any bone or tear any muscle or destroy any of the body organs,

>> (but if they submit to you,) it is the aim and purpose,

>> (then do not seek a way against them ) i.e. if they return obedient to you after the admonition, the separation in bed or the beating, then do not seek after falsehood to hurt them under any pretext,

>> (surely, God is All-High, All-Great.) Therefore, fear Him and do not hurt the women after they return obedient to you.

This is according to the interpretation of Mohammed-Ali Hassan Al-Hilly.

Quran Interpretation
What a crock of nonsense............
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-17-2010, 10:31 AM
 
5,906 posts, read 5,187,270 times
Reputation: 4536
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goodpasture View Post
What a crock of nonsense............
I happen to agree.

My husband and I agreed that the word "obey" would NOT be in my portion of the wedding vows.

We came to our marriage as equal partners. The idea that one of us should be inherently submissive to the other is personally disgusting to me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2010, 11:12 AM
 
Location: egypt
1,215 posts, read 2,039,634 times
Reputation: 161
Quote:
Originally Posted by rayneinspain View Post
I happen to agree.

My husband and I agreed that the word "obey" would NOT be in my portion of the wedding vows.

We came to our marriage as equal partners. The idea that one of us should be inherently submissive to the other is personally disgusting to me.
i can understand te picture which may come to your mind when you hear the word " obey"
and offcourse i completely agree with you if that is the situation .

but you know ! , When a man and a woman come together in marriage and live together, there are bound to be differences in opinion between them, and one party must have the final say in order to resolve the issue, otherwise the differences will multiply and disputes will increase.

do you agree ?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2010, 11:19 AM
 
5,906 posts, read 5,187,270 times
Reputation: 4536
Quote:
Originally Posted by elwill View Post
i can understand te picture which may come to your mind when you hear the word " obey"
and offcourse i completely agree with you if that is the situation .

but you know ! , When a man and a woman come together in marriage and live together, there are bound to be differences in opinion between them, and one party must have the final say in order to resolve the issue, otherwise the differences will multiply and disputes will increase.

do you agree ?
To some extent, yes. Where you and I most likely differ is WHICH person should have that final say.

In my marriage, differences are resolved through discussion and compromise. There is no pattern of either one of us making all final decisions....BECAUSE WE RESPECT EACH OTHER.

In fact, there are almost no major decisions in our marriage that had to be decided by only one of us, to the detriment of the other's wishes. Nearly everything we decide is done together in full agreement.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2010, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Pawnee Nation
7,525 posts, read 14,910,855 times
Reputation: 7014
Quote:
Originally Posted by elwill View Post

do you agree ?
hell no.

if there is not unanimity in the decision, it is not done. both parties, both man and woman, must agree to a compromise before anything is done. There is NEVER a time where one person "makes the decision." That being said, I respect my partner enough to know that she will never make a decision that will hurt us, so when she is not with me and a decision must be made, she makes it with the confidence that she has my full support.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2010, 11:29 AM
 
Location: A great city, by a Great Lake!
15,908 posts, read 10,081,462 times
Reputation: 7456
Quote:
Originally Posted by rayneinspain View Post
To some extent, yes. Where you and I most likely differ is WHICH person should have that final say.

In my marriage, differences are resolved through discussion and compromise. There is no pattern of either one of us making all final decisions....BECAUSE WE RESPECT EACH OTHER.

In fact, there are almost no major decisions in our marriage that had to be decided by only one of us, to the detriment of the other's wishes. Nearly everything we decide is done together in full agreement.

Didn't read all of the posts rayne.... but got the gist and ditto! And when my wife and I took the vows we were both asked "do you promise to love honor and cherish, for as long as you both shall live til death do you 'part?" In fact at not one point in our wedding ceremony did the priest mention anything about my wife promising to submit to me. At not one point did he mention it was a onesided deal. No, in fact, compromise, and BOTH giving 100% seemed to be the theme! I certainly don't think that God wants you to beat your spouse into submission! That has nothing to do with love. Not the God that I believe in anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2010, 11:32 AM
 
Location: A great city, by a Great Lake!
15,908 posts, read 10,081,462 times
Reputation: 7456
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticPhD View Post
This is total BS . . . as long as Israel EXISTS you use it as the excuse as stated above. Anyone supporting Israel's right to exist is then considered your enemy and guilty of doing the things stated above to justify your terrorism. I tire of the constant lying and propaganda supporting your barbarous religion and culture. Become civilized in the 21st century and leave your 7th century barbarism behind. Then you will be welcomed into the civilized world.

Amen. Nothing wrong with defending your country from invaders, but terrorism and the killing innocent people just because their beliefs are different is unacceptable! That goes for ANY religion!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2010, 11:32 AM
 
5,906 posts, read 5,187,270 times
Reputation: 4536
Quote:
Originally Posted by no1brownsfan View Post
Didn't read all of the posts rayne.... but got the gist and ditto! And when my wife and I took the vows we were both asked "do you promise to love honor and cherish, for as long as you both shall live til death do you 'part?" In fact at not one point in our wedding ceremony did the priest mention anything about my wife promising to submit to me. At not one point did he mention it was a onesided deal. No, in fact, compromise, and BOTH giving 100% seemed to be the theme! I certainly don't think that God wants you to beat your spouse into submission! That has nothing to do with love. Not the God that I believe in anyway.
Exactly! A marriage in which violence is seen as acceptable is not a marriage based on love or respect.

It is one based on domination...usually in favor of a coward.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2010, 11:35 AM
 
11 posts, read 22,223 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by ting ling View Post
Al Bukhari Hadiths more worse ridiculous insult to Women

Allah’s Apostle (The blessing and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "In Paradise there is a pavilion made of a single hollow pearl sixty miles wide, in each corner of which there are wives who will not see those in the other corners; and the believers will visit and enjoy them."
Sahih Bukhari 6:60:402

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goodpasture View Post
pearls are round. they have no corners
,i gotta its very simple !!
! Allah can create pearls with numerous corners so that Beleivers ( Muslims ) can enjoy that many Wives in heavens
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2010, 11:37 AM
 
Location: A great city, by a Great Lake!
15,908 posts, read 10,081,462 times
Reputation: 7456
Quote:
Originally Posted by rayneinspain View Post
Exactly! A marriage in which violence is seen as acceptable is not a marriage based on love or respect.

It is one based on domination...usually in favor of a coward.

Yep! And men who beat their wives or any woman for that matter, are cowards! Marriage by no means is easy ( I posted a little something on the divorce thread.. check it out)... but in the end, the key is to respect each others difference, and most important to remain friends. I tell others, and my wife constantly that I married my best friend, and I truly mean it! It will be almost 10 years in September.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Islam
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top