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My husband and I agreed that the word "obey" would NOT be in my portion of the wedding vows.
We came to our marriage as equal partners. The idea that one of us should be inherently submissive to the other is personally disgusting to me.
i can understand te picture which may come to your mind when you hear the word " obey"
and offcourse i completely agree with you if that is the situation .
but you know ! , When a man and a woman come together in marriage and live together, there are bound to be differences in opinion between them, and one party must have the final say in order to resolve the issue, otherwise the differences will multiply and disputes will increase.
i can understand te picture which may come to your mind when you hear the word " obey"
and offcourse i completely agree with you if that is the situation .
but you know ! , When a man and a woman come together in marriage and live together, there are bound to be differences in opinion between them, and one party must have the final say in order to resolve the issue, otherwise the differences will multiply and disputes will increase.
do you agree ?
To some extent, yes. Where you and I most likely differ is WHICH person should have that final say.
In my marriage, differences are resolved through discussion and compromise. There is no pattern of either one of us making all final decisions....BECAUSE WE RESPECT EACH OTHER.
In fact, there are almost no major decisions in our marriage that had to be decided by only one of us, to the detriment of the other's wishes. Nearly everything we decide is done together in full agreement.
if there is not unanimity in the decision, it is not done. both parties, both man and woman, must agree to a compromise before anything is done. There is NEVER a time where one person "makes the decision." That being said, I respect my partner enough to know that she will never make a decision that will hurt us, so when she is not with me and a decision must be made, she makes it with the confidence that she has my full support.
To some extent, yes. Where you and I most likely differ is WHICH person should have that final say.
In my marriage, differences are resolved through discussion and compromise. There is no pattern of either one of us making all final decisions....BECAUSE WE RESPECT EACH OTHER.
In fact, there are almost no major decisions in our marriage that had to be decided by only one of us, to the detriment of the other's wishes. Nearly everything we decide is done together in full agreement.
Didn't read all of the posts rayne.... but got the gist and ditto! And when my wife and I took the vows we were both asked "do you promise to love honor and cherish, for as long as you both shall live til death do you 'part?" In fact at not one point in our wedding ceremony did the priest mention anything about my wife promising to submit to me. At not one point did he mention it was a onesided deal. No, in fact, compromise, and BOTH giving 100% seemed to be the theme! I certainly don't think that God wants you to beat your spouse into submission! That has nothing to do with love. Not the God that I believe in anyway.
This is total BS . . . as long as Israel EXISTS you use it as the excuse as stated above. Anyone supporting Israel's right to exist is then considered your enemy and guilty of doing the things stated above to justify your terrorism. I tire of the constant lying and propaganda supporting your barbarous religion and culture. Become civilized in the 21st century and leave your 7th century barbarism behind. Then you will be welcomed into the civilized world.
Amen. Nothing wrong with defending your country from invaders, but terrorism and the killing innocent people just because their beliefs are different is unacceptable! That goes for ANY religion!
Didn't read all of the posts rayne.... but got the gist and ditto! And when my wife and I took the vows we were both asked "do you promise to love honor and cherish, for as long as you both shall live til death do you 'part?" In fact at not one point in our wedding ceremony did the priest mention anything about my wife promising to submit to me. At not one point did he mention it was a onesided deal. No, in fact, compromise, and BOTH giving 100% seemed to be the theme! I certainly don't think that God wants you to beat your spouse into submission! That has nothing to do with love. Not the God that I believe in anyway.
Exactly! A marriage in which violence is seen as acceptable is not a marriage based on love or respect.
It is one based on domination...usually in favor of a coward.
Al Bukhari Hadiths more worse ridiculous insult to Women
Allah’s Apostle (The blessing and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "In Paradise there is a pavilion made of a single hollow pearl sixty miles wide, in each corner of which there are wives who will not see those in the other corners; and the believers will visit and enjoy them."
Sahih Bukhari 6:60:402
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goodpasture
pearls are round. they have no corners
,i gotta its very simple !!
! Allah can create pearls with numerous corners so that Beleivers ( Muslims ) can enjoy that many Wives in heavens
Exactly! A marriage in which violence is seen as acceptable is not a marriage based on love or respect.
It is one based on domination...usually in favor of a coward.
Yep! And men who beat their wives or any woman for that matter, are cowards! Marriage by no means is easy ( I posted a little something on the divorce thread.. check it out)... but in the end, the key is to respect each others difference, and most important to remain friends. I tell others, and my wife constantly that I married my best friend, and I truly mean it! It will be almost 10 years in September.
Yep! And men who beat their wives or any woman for that matter, are cowards! Marriage by no means is easy ( I posted a little something on the divorce thread.. check it out)... but in the end, the key is to respect each others difference, and most important to remain friends. I tell others, and my wife constantly that I married my best friend, and I truly mean it! It will be almost 10 years in September.
Congratulations to you both! I married my best friend 2 years ago, and it's undoubtedly the happiest I have ever been. We discuss without shouting, resolve differences without violence or verbal abuse....I cannot FATHOM a marriage devoid of respect of any sort. I experienced that twice before. Never again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ting ling
,i gotta its very simple !! ! Allah can create pearls with numerous corners so that Beleivers ( Muslims ) can enjoy that many Wives in heavens
Thank you. You've just reinforced my belief that Islam, in so many respects, exists because of sexism and repression, with violence used in a way to enforce a false sense of superiority over others (be they women or 'infidels').
That its followers cannot face those facts (and denounce them, loudly) is its greatest tragedy.
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That has nothing to do with love. Not the God that I believe in anyway.
That goes for ANY religion!
,i gotta its very simple !!
I married my best friend 2 years ago, and it's undoubtedly the happiest I have ever been. We discuss without shouting, resolve differences without violence or verbal abuse....I cannot FATHOM a marriage devoid of respect of any sort. I experienced that twice before. Never again.
