If moving to Jackson metro area, know this... (Ridgeland, Madison: transplants, crime)
JacksonIncludes Jackson, Madison, Canton, Clinton, Byram, Pearl, Brandon, Richland
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Then I too must share that same therapist. I usually just read the posts instead of posting, but this one I have to step in and agree on. Lived here for almost 2 yrs and yes it does have it's positive sides but it also has negative ones. Just like any place you go. Most people who were born and raised here refuse to see the negatives from a "newbies" point of view. Instead they jump in and start bashing and putting others down because they are sharing what they have experienced.
I was a "newbie" to the area in Tennessee in which I now live. Rural and small town, but I do love it here. I came here with a positive attitude and I reached out to people. Nothing is perfect, but if you constantly focus on negative thoughts it's a surefire formula for failure. I would suggest getting a new therapist.
Okay, let me clarify my position. The later posts seemed to catch on and agree... Mississippi is a very difficult place to make friends. I have looked in the mirror, as one poster suggested - in high school I was voted class favorite and most cheerful (I can hear you laugh seeing as to how I complained). But truly, I have gone to school football games and attempted to converse in a friendly manner with other MS mom's and as soon as I'm finished talking they walk away to their pre-existing group and don't even invite me over and introduce me! I thought I had the plague, but when I talked to other transplants about this they readily agreed and said they have the same exact problem. So, I guess us transplants will have to stick together and form our own friendships because the supposedly hospitable Mississippians won't welcome us.
In regard to being humiliated... Take a look at the roads full of pot holes and cracks and weeds along the edges rather than sidewalks and borders. Look at how many people don't take care of their homes or yards. I'm not being materialist - even if you have a tiny shed, at least MAINTAIN what you have. Even someone I know who comes from very modest means said this area was the "armpit" of America. It is simply because there is no consistency of care - one small area is nice while sitting next to a junk pile. I'm trying to look for the positives, believe me, but when the negatives keep jumping out at you it is difficult. I've lived in many areas around the country and believe me, this area is not as nice as the people born and raised here think it is. Being a bit miffed because I've been snubbed by people who have no other basis of snubbing me other than the fact that I'm not a native Mississippian has not caused me to be blind or purely subjective. I know the natives don't like that, but perhaps THEY are the ones in need of a little objectivity. Go travel and see for yourself!
My husband and I moved here due to a job transfer in 2000. While visiting, people were very friendly and welcoming, however, once you get here they change! The southern hospitality only extends to VISITORS. Once you live here you are an outcast if coming from outside MS. All of our friends are transplants as well because those who have lived here all their lives have their own cliques and don't know how to reach out. Also, there is an attitude of "have" and "have not" here. Very "old school" attitudes and steeped in tradition. You will feel like you have gone back twenty years if you are from a more progressive area. My husband is a successful executive and we live in a very beautiful custom built home on the lake, however, that does not warrant inclusion. "Your daddy had to know my daddy and his daddy had to know your daddy's daddy" is more important. (i.e. snobby and "who's who" attitude). Our child goes to private school, which is another funny thing. All the supposedly "have's" must have their children in private school. The schools here are not good, even the ones that claim to be good. The best one's are at least a year or two behind other state's "good" school systems. Crime is horrendous in Jackson (even worse than the Bronx in NY) and customer service is horrible as well, since these people don't know the meaning of true hospitality. You will find shopping carts scattered around parking lots rather than returned to the stalls, and people racing you to get to the closest parking space. I was amazed that Madison was ranked one of the 10 best cities for families because I was actually humiliated to have visitors from out of town. Yes, of all the area's around Jackson, Madison and Ridgeland are the nicest, but even here the landscaping and roads are horrific. Pot holes and weeds line the streets. We are nature lovers, but there is only one nature trail around. There isn't much to do around here to be honest. The few nice things about living here are: the tall pine trees, lots of lakes and ponds, and weather in the Spring and Fall. Winters are okay, but summers are humid and unbearable. Sorry if I sound really negative (I'm generally a very positive person!) I just wanted everyone to have a realistic picture of what they are coming into before moving. If you are superficial, steeped in tradition, and from a smaller southern town, you may like it. However, if you want authenticity and true beauty, and from a larger metropolitan area, you will probably want to look elsewhere. Hope this helps anyone thinking of relocating to the Jackson metropolitan area!
I am not moving to Jackson because it's too hot and humid there. However, you stated you were humiliated to have family visit you there. Sorry I find that incredible. Humiliated at what? Are you possibly looking down your nose at the people there (who by the way, will know it immediately), they are not stupid because they are southerners. Sounds to me you may have a bit of an uppity attitude and should stick to the big, cosmopolitan cities. We do get people in Alaska with that attitude also and we just kinda laugh at them. Not being insulting, just blunt.
I truly would be at least aware of the situation. Perhaps you could be more forceful than I have, I just am not one to force myself on others. It is not a matter of being a northerner or southerner. I've lived in the south all my life, but I have not been welcomed. You have to be a true Mississippi native in order to be accepted. This is very evident in church, as well. You say you are ministers. I hate to say this, but I doubt you will be able to build a congregation very easily not being from here. I am a Christian myself and thought God brought us here and was very excited to bring positive change and hope to the people here. However, I was more accepted in Africa and Brazil than I have been here. They are very cautious of outsiders and seem to not to want to give you a chance. I would really pray about it. On a more positive side, perhaps if more transplants come, change can occur. I am only one person and I confess, I feel overwhelmed. I am lonely and disappointed. I feel I have so much to offer and it is frustrating to not be embraced. I have always been embraced in other areas, led Bible studies on college campuses, in church, etc. But here, I don't know how to explain it... they are just very closed to outsiders.
Regarding your children... My son was in 6th grade when we first moved here and went to a local private school. He was not accepted at all. Kids wouldn't sit by him at lunch, talk to him, etc. (And he is a very cute, smart and sweet kid!) Several other new kids' parents complained to the school that their kids did not feel welcomed by the students but the school didn't do anything about it. So, we changed schools. I homeschooled the following year, but then found a small Christian school that he is doing very well in and has a lot of friends. However, he says he is not receiving as good of an education as he did in our previous state and he still wants to move back. I've learned that kids don't respond well to change.
I'm sorry I don't know how to respond privately. I'm new at this. I hope this helps. Just seek God and He will lead you. But remember, even Jesus shook the dust off his feet and left the areas he was not welcome.
I truly would be at least aware of the situation. Perhaps you could be more forceful than I have, I just am not one to force myself on others. It is not a matter of being a northerner or southerner. I've lived in the south all my life, but I have not been welcomed. You have to be a true Mississippi native in order to be accepted. This is very evident in church, as well. You say you are ministers. I hate to say this, but I doubt you will be able to build a congregation very easily not being from here. I am a Christian myself and thought God brought us here and was very excited to bring positive change and hope to the people here. However, I was more accepted in Africa and Brazil than I have been here. They are very cautious of outsiders and seem to not to want to give you a chance. I would really pray about it. On a more positive side, perhaps if more transplants come, change can occur. I am only one person and I confess, I feel overwhelmed. I am lonely and disappointed. I feel I have so much to offer and it is frustrating to not be embraced. I have always been embraced in other areas, led Bible studies on college campuses, in church, etc. But here, I don't know how to explain it... they are just very closed to outsiders.
Regarding your children... My son was in 6th grade when we first moved here and went to a local private school. He was not accepted at all. Kids wouldn't sit by him at lunch, talk to him, etc. (And he is a very cute, smart and sweet kid!) Several other new kids' parents complained to the school that their kids did not feel welcomed by the students but the school didn't do anything about it. So, we changed schools. I homeschooled the following year, but then found a small Christian school that he is doing very well in and has a lot of friends. However, he says he is not receiving as good of an education as he did in our previous state and he still wants to move back. I've learned that kids don't respond well to change.
I'm sorry I don't know how to respond privately. I'm new at this. I hope this helps. Just seek God and He will lead you. But remember, even Jesus shook the dust off his feet and left the areas he was not welcome.
Talk about superficial, it's a shame you can't read your own piece from a more objective viewpoint. I've been to the area you are talking about and thought it was lovely. You live in a custom home that I'm sure you really made out on because of the low housing cost. The area is, admittedly, not a hub of excitement, but it has it's own charms. Take up golf, start fishing, buy a boat and impress your visitors with some boating and fishing on that pretty resevoir.
I'm sorry if I came across superficial. Really, I'm not materialistic, I just like things to be well maintained regardless of what you have and that is what I find lacking. I do fish, and I have played golf, and we boat often. However, the Reservoir is nothing compared to the Pacific Ocean! I do have to say though, that seeing an alligator was pretty exciting!
I guess its a northern thing, but I have never heard of such a thing. I was born and raised in Pittsburgh and we have always welcolmed newcomers in my experience at least. Maybe its a big city thing I dont know. I cant imagine not accepting someone just because they are not originally from my state.
I also have reason to believe that Elly is telling the truth as some of the ppl on the post became immediatly defensive. I find it bizarre to crucify this woman based on her opinion. This is what she has experienced personally why she has been in the area. Maybe this just isnt the place for her, but certainly there is no reason to suggest that she needs a therapist.
I guess its a northern thing, but I have never heard of such a thing. I was born and raised in Pittsburgh and we have always welcolmed newcomers in my experience at least. Maybe its a big city thing I dont know. I cant imagine not accepting someone just because they are not originally from my state.
I also have reason to believe that Elly is telling the truth as some of the ppl on the post became immediatly defensive. I find it bizarre to crucify this woman based on her opinion. This is what she has experienced personally why she has been in the area. Maybe this just isnt the place for her, but certainly there is no reason to suggest that she needs a therapist.
It's more of a southern thing to be guarded about change. We (talking about southerners now) are so afraid that someone is going to come in and change everything we know or make us change our lifestyle. As far as most cases I've seen in the rural south, a new person can have all the desire to fit in and be part of the community, but if the community doesn't accept you then you're fresh out of luck. There's nothing you can do. I'm surprised Jackson is that way, but maybe it's just the suburbs. Parts of suburban Baton Rouge are similar. That's why I live in the city.
Cosmopolitan cities (and regions) are cosmopolitan for a reason.
I'm sorry if I came across superficial. Really, I'm not materialistic, I just like things to be well maintained regardless of what you have and that is what I find lacking. I do fish, and I have played golf, and we boat often. However, the Reservoir is nothing compared to the Pacific Ocean! I do have to say though, that seeing an alligator was pretty exciting!
We'll just have to agree to disagree on the lakes vs. ocean issue. I'm certain you are a very nice lady. Everything just sounded so negative. Keep your chin up, stay positive, and keep smiling (even when they don't rate it); you will eventually win them over. Be careful of the gators. It's bears we worry about in Northeast Tennessee.
I know I may get into trouble with the rest of the board for saying this but --
I think that's the situation in almost any Middle-to-Upper-Middle-Class suburban kind of area, especially the ones that are the "it" place to live. Madison, being the "it" middle-to-upper middle class place to move to in the Jackson area, isn't likely all that different. We in Dallas complain about Collin County and Southlake [the Madison's of Dallas-Ft Worth] being that way. Memphis also has it's own pretentious, image-conscious suburbs: Germantown and Collierville.
But, like the other two cities (and pretty much any metropolitan area with at least 1/3 million people), the older middle class neighborhoods that are closest to downtown are going to be at least somewhat more open than the surrounding area. In Jackson, that'd be the lower part of State St. (near Millsaps and Belhaven). I talk about this extensively on one post (which admittedly, I started - pardon the self-link): Finding Your (Almost) Paradise Close to Home. Suffice to say that getting involved with the local flim festivals and other downtown arts communities will be a good place to start.
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