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Old 03-31-2011, 04:08 AM
 
Location: Beautiful place in Virginia
2,679 posts, read 11,716,316 times
Reputation: 1360

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My father's battle with cancer has been a difficult one. He requires skilled nursing care and care for assistance for daily living. Has anyone had experience with a facility that has compassionate care and staff? We live in Fleming Island, and it would be best if there were a place close to where we live.

If anyone has advice on the methods of funding, I would also appreciate it.

He is under Medicare/Tricare for Life.
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Old 03-31-2011, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,617 posts, read 21,434,279 times
Reputation: 6794
The best skilled nursing facility in the metro area is River Garden:

River Garden | Excellence in Adult Care Programs and Services

In Mandarin - worth the drive from OP.

Make an appointment with Rebecca Manjon - director of admissions - to discuss your father's situation/options (both from a medical and financial point of view). She knows everything there is to know about this. No reason to discuss personal financial information here.

FWIW - my late FIL was a resident of River Garden for almost 3 years. I give the place . Robyn
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Old 03-31-2011, 01:56 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,617 posts, read 21,434,279 times
Reputation: 6794
And to clarify - River Garden is the "Jewish" SNF in Jacksonville - but you don't have to be Jewish (it doesn't discriminate on the basis of religion or any other factor). About 30-40% of the residents aren't Jewish. However the kitchens (one for dairy - one for meat) are strict Kosher - so residents do have to eat Kosher food and follow Jewish dietary laws. OTOH - there are patios outside where - during nice weather - you can consume non-Kosher food that you bring on the premises (like take-out pizza or something from home). Except during the week of Passover - when - for the most part - no one is allowed to bring in food from the outside. I think this is a small price to pay for the best care in JAX - perhaps the best care in Florida (my late FIL wasn't Jewish - and he didn't mind the food a bit). Robyn
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Old 04-01-2011, 07:12 AM
 
Location: Beautiful place in Virginia
2,679 posts, read 11,716,316 times
Reputation: 1360
Thank you.

My father decided that he wants to be at home for hospice care.
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Old 04-01-2011, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,617 posts, read 21,434,279 times
Reputation: 6794
From reading your other messages - I realize you're a doctor - a radiologist. Not exactly a "blood and guts doctor" .

I don't know whether your father is talking about his home or your home. But I can relate our 3 experiences with parent deaths. My late MIL died of kidney failure after refusing dialysis while living at home with her husband. My brother is a nephrologist - and he said her death would take place over 3-4 weeks - that she wouldn't suffer. She'd just sleep - more and more - and then one day she wouldn't wake up. He was right. FWIW - I was the person who dealt with my MIL's body and the funeral place (we had arrived where my in-laws lived the day before she died - and I had made arrangements with the funeral place - for some reason - my SIL - who lived there - never thought to do that ).

My late mother had colon cancer and chose to die at home (actually my father kind of forced her- he didn't want to drive anywhere to visit her). She was in a lot of pain for quite a while. Her pain management wasn't very good with home hospice care IMO. She died when her colon cancer "perforated" and she bled out. I thank G-d my brother the doctor was there (we had had about 3 false alarm death watch visits before - but the 4th visit wasn't a false alarm) - because I don't think a non-doctor could have dealt with it. I worked with the at-home hospice workers after her death to "clean up" so my father wouldn't see what happened. There was blood - just tons of blood - everywhere.

My late FIL died at River Garden. After dealing with multiple problems (2 cancers - CHF - etc.) - he had a very bad stroke a few days before Christmas. Was released to River Garden - his home - for terminal hospice care. And the day before Christmas - when we went to visit - well his breathing - his respiration had stopped working properly. And he made signs and noises to the effect - I can't breathe - I'm drowning. He had almost no veins left by then - but the RN managed to get an IV morphine drip in him (barely - we were about ready to get him to the hospital for a cut-down). We celebrated Christmas and the day after (his daughter's birthday) with him in a morphine haze - and he died the next day.

I don't know what kind of cancer your father has - or how long he will live - or how he will die. But I think dying at home - especially with painful cancer - is kind of overrated . I wish my mother could have died with more morphine and more peace in a good SNF or hospice. You're a doctor. Do what you think is best for him - and also what is best for your family too. Death is - for the most part - only pretty in the movies. Robyn
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Old 04-02-2011, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,617 posts, read 21,434,279 times
Reputation: 6794
Finally - forgot to mention. River Garden does provide end of life hospice care - but I don't know if it is a Medicare certified hospice. If it is a Medicare certified hospice - then Medicare will pay for qualified end of life hospice care. Anyway - good luck. These situations are always difficult IMO. Robyn

P.S. Don't forget to get the necessary legal documents in order (health care surrogate - living will - regular will - etc.).
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Old 04-04-2011, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Beautiful place in Virginia
2,679 posts, read 11,716,316 times
Reputation: 1360
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55 View Post
From reading your other messages - I realize you're a doctor - a radiologist. Not exactly a "blood and guts doctor" .

I don't know what kind of cancer your father has - or how long he will live - or how he will die. But I think dying at home - especially with painful cancer - is kind of overrated . I wish my mother could have died with more morphine and more peace in a good SNF or hospice. You're a doctor. Do what you think is best for him - and also what is best for your family too. Death is - for the most part - only pretty in the movies. Robyn
I AM a radiologist but I did primary care for 5 years previously.

My father is enrolled into Community Hospice. They have been great. He has a lot of pain medication (morphine), a hospital bed, Oxygen tank, supplies, and a lot of people caring for him.

I don't know how long he has to live but I hope it is somehow ideally, in the presence of his loved ones. It is quite painful to watch this final chapter in his life. I helped him get the best care possible and communicated closely with his doctors, every step of the way.

He's a fighter and he's an inspirational man.
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Old 04-04-2011, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,617 posts, read 21,434,279 times
Reputation: 6794
G-d bless you and I hope your father will spend his final days in peace - not in pain - surrounded by his family. My husband and I managed to do that with one parent - and we felt it was one the best things we had ever done in our lives. Take care, Robyn
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Old 04-12-2011, 05:10 AM
 
Location: Beautiful place in Virginia
2,679 posts, read 11,716,316 times
Reputation: 1360
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55 View Post
G-d bless you and I hope your father will spend his final days in peace - not in pain - surrounded by his family. My husband and I managed to do that with one parent - and we felt it was one the best things we had ever done in our lives. Take care, Robyn
Robyn

Thank you.

After a long battle with cancer and peace in my home with hospice, he passed away on Sunday at 4:19 PM. He was surrounded by family, my daughter was holding his hand, my mother was holding the other, and I had my head on his shoulder. He went peacefully.
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,617 posts, read 21,434,279 times
Reputation: 6794
My condolences to you and your family - but I'm glad he went in peace. Best wishes, Robyn
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