New Dad Desperate For Help With Childcare (insurance, co-ops)

[Marcyprojects]

New to this forum. I really need some guidance on this so maybe someone can point me in the right direction. My wife and I recently welcomed our first baby girl on 9/4. As of now and leading up to, I have been in a despirate search for solutions to solve our childcare problem. My wife and I had a loose plan of how to tackle this but that got thrown out when we had to deliver the baby 5 weeks early.Neither one of us are native to this area and have no family here. We do have many friends but none of them are in a position to help out for various reasons. My wife and I both work average jobs which provides us enough money to cover most of our bills and our rent. However after finding out that the cheapest childcare provider for a newborn cost upwards of $200 per week, I'm really starting to panic as the days go by. Because of our income we are not eligible for any assistance programs whatsoever. The government thinks were rich but we are far from it. $200 a week would bankrupt us and bring the bill collectors and shut off notices back into our lives after we have spent the last 2 years getting all that cleaned up. Were struggling currently as is since my wife has been on maternity, and the little money that we did save is close to running out. Does anyone out here know of any programs or any solutions out there for working middle class families that can help? I have about 30 days to come up with a plan and so far ive got nothing but denial letters and dead ends.

[SmtSF]

Congratulations on your new baby! I'm so sorry that you are dealing with the stress and panic of having to find childcare while all you should have to do is enjoy your beautiful child.

I do not know of any formal programs, so I can't help you there. But I know that in similar situations, families have done a nanny share, so that it's one nanny working with two or even three kids and the families share the cost and it does help make childcare more affordable b/c the families are pooling their money. Nanny share situations are often advertised on Care.com or Craigslist. My preference is to always go with Care b/c at least there's a modicum of screening.

If it's possible, you might want to look into Co-ops in your area as well. These are daycares where the price is reduced b/c a parent is required to volunteer for part of a day each week or month. I don't know if that's a possibility for you with your busy work schedules, but you might find a good fit.

I hope these ideas help. I wish you the best of luck.

[ssclulow]

I don't know what your occupations are, but many families who have no childcare options choose to work different shifts so one parent is always home with the child.

[Florida2014]

Really hard to give you direction as to your finances without having details - i.e. total household income, rent/mortgage/utilities, insurance, etc. etc. But $200 per week is actually quite inexpensive, at least for the daycares in St Johns Co, most are twice that much for full-time care.

I don't mean to sound harsh but why have you not saved up for this? You make it sound like 5 weeks would have made a difference financially. You have over 8 months to save for this and you really cannot afford to pay for daycare? You need to do one or both of the following:

1) reduce expenses - cut the cable, internet, gym memberships, all entertainment and so on....nothing that isn't 100% essential to your survival
2) increase your income either through a second job or a higher paying job for each of you

There is no magic pill here that will solve your problems. Time to grow up, make some tough decisions and work at this.

[EricBoyd]

I agree w/ this guy. ^

[Marcyprojects]

thanks for the input everyone. The main issue we had with the early birth is just about how to work my wifes maternity. If the baby would have kept to the original schedule, she would have been born some time this week meaning my wife would be on leave through the rest of the year. Now she has to return to work after thanksgiving. That way we would have ony been responsible for january's daycare bill. Come Feburary we could have recieved tax return money to cover through next fall, giving us a buffer to save money for the remaining months until next tax season and so on. Trying to come up with about $2k to cover December and January. The only option I have so far is to empy out my 401k, and even that may come up short. Before the birth saving money was difficult on a part of expenses like what was mentioned, my wife and I also have considerable student loan debt. Also my company is on the verge of being sold, has been in hot water for a year now. I was on track to get a promotion which was pulled back after the company announced they were in trouble. I have been spending a lot of money over the last 18 months trying to clean up my credit and rehab my student loan default as well. I have been interviewing for jobs for the last 6 months, 2 interviews and denied on both. All stuff that I feel like people go through everyday but shouldnt mean my wife cant have children until shes 40 u know? Thousands of people who make close to no income get all this taken care of for free, and they have armies of children. Just cant wrap my head around it all.

[kokonutty]

Originally Posted by Marcyprojects

thanks for the input everyone. The main issue we had with the early birth is just about how to work my wifes maternity. If the baby would have kept to the original schedule, she would have been born some time this week meaning my wife would be on leave through the rest of the year. Now she has to return to work after thanksgiving. That way we would have ony been responsible for january's daycare bill. Come Feburary we could have recieved tax return money to cover through next fall, giving us a buffer to save money for the remaining months until next tax season and so on. Trying to come up with about $2k to cover December and January. The only option I have so far is to empy out my 401k, and even that may come up short. Before the birth saving money was difficult on a part of expenses like what was mentioned, my wife and I also have considerable student loan debt. Also my company is on the verge of being sold, has been in hot water for a year now. I was on track to get a promotion which was pulled back after the company announced they were in trouble. I have been spending a lot of money over the last 18 months trying to clean up my credit and rehab my student loan default as well. I have been interviewing for jobs for the last 6 months, 2 interviews and denied on both. All stuff that I feel like people go through everyday but shouldnt mean my wife cant have children until shes 40 u know? Thousands of people who make close to no income get all this taken care of for free, and they have armies of children. Just cant wrap my head around it all.

Poor planning on your part does not create an emergency for others. Two college educated individuals should be aware enough of their own obligations to provide care to their own offspring even if they believe they should get some form of assistance they decry in others.

I haven't seen anything to indicate either parent looking to work a second job to pay off their debt. Additionally, to be expecting tax refunds amounting to ten months worth of daycare expense shows an appalling ignorance of proper witholding.

What about other expenses that could be trimmed? How much is being paid monthly for car payments, phone expense and cable television?

[snuffybear]

MANY things about life with kids are unpredictable. This is just the first.

Can a family member fly here to spend a couple months with you?

[Marcyprojects]

Originally Posted by kokonutty

Poor planning on your part does not create an emergency for others. Two college educated individuals should be aware enough of their own obligations to provide care to their own offspring even if they believe they should get some form of assistance they decry in others.

I haven't seen anything to indicate either parent looking to work a second job to pay off their debt. Additionally, to be expecting tax refunds amounting to ten months worth of daycare expense shows an appalling ignorance of proper witholding.

What about other expenses that could be trimmed? How much is being paid monthly for car payments, phone expense and cable television?

We have no car payments, and a modest home. Family is 1200 miles away, grandma and grandpa have come down twice but only for a week at a time, all they could reasonably afford. Yes, I plan on cutting cable but that only saves me about $120 a month. We have no bills to cut out, all we pay is utilities, phone bills, food, and fuel. And let me tell you, we dont eat good.Working a second job would be next to impossible for me as my hours at my current job would leave me no time for sleep. I work M-F 9-7, and every other saturday. My wife's schedule is just about the same, just not as many weekends. Trust me, I have looked into this I just didnt mention it. U see our decision to have children irresponsible but is it reasonable for a couple to wait until they're middle aged to have kids just because of money? I mean it costs close to $10k a year to care for a child, I dont see any average person just saving that kind of money in a reasonable amount of time while maintaining a halfway decent standard of living. Im here trying to get some out of the box ideas as I have looked into the obvious.

[SmtSF]

Will either your company or your wife's allow you to work from home, at least for part of the day or part of the week until you can obtain affordable childcare? Can either of you shift your hours in the office so that perhaps you only need coverage for 3 hours a day instead of 8? Can your wife extend her medical leave? She would have to ask her OB GYN, but she did give birth five weeks early. Will your wife's company allow her to extend her maternity leave until January? Or go back on a part-time basis until then?