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02-18-2008, 12:47 PM
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53 posts, read 56,006 times
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I'm guessing JB77 meant state income tax - in fact, the first time I read it I just skimmed over it and assumed it said income tax....
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02-18-2008, 01:02 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Klatu Nebula
130 posts, read 152,115 times
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Southern Living
Don't come to Jacksonville, and throw around the term "Yankee", or tell locals how much better they did such and such back North. You'll quickly get on everyone's list. Likewise, for your own survival, don't try and insult a Southerner by calling him a Yankee...it could get nasty REAL fast.
Don't throw away your heavy coats and jackets. While it's true this winter has been mild, not all of them are. I have seen freezes by Thanksgiving and as late as April. I will also recall to those newbies here, of the day less then 20 years ago when I worked outside... The temp NEVER got above 10 degrees all day, that evening it hovered at 8 in Orlando! Sleet mixed with snow fell far into Central Florida and Billions of dollars of Citrus were ruined. So yes, you can usually surf or swim around Christmas, but every couple of years, you'll have good use for that fireplace!
Heat and Sweet Tea. I have a theory that our love of extreme sweets came from back in the days when before freezers, a cool drink of water was as good as it got. When the humidity is at 100% and their isn't a cloud in the sky, the temps are pushing 100... it is so darn hot you COULD fry eggs on the fender of the car. Sudden floods of sweet juices such as Southern style Sweet tea, gives and restores energy. Most come South and complain about the tea, and pie's or other super sweets... by mid August, you should be able to eat your pecan pie and drink your sweet tea without making a face.
Confederate Flags, in spite of what many think they know, this does not mean someone hates someone else! It is more of a statement of in-your-face we stood up to the whole US government and it took them 5 years to beat us. We tend to be bull headed like that. There are groups like Sons or Daughters of the Confederate Veterans that all have little flag decals or lapel pins. They also show up and the Klan rallies... The news loves those staged shots. What they cut out is the SCV or UDC members are waving the flag and screaming at the Klan "HERITAGE NOT HATE!" or "If this flag makes you hate, you need a history lesson!" Oh and YES, the SCV and UDC have black and white members.
Rednecks, good ole boys, happy go lucky, usually poor as dirt, Dukes of Hazard types that live in a small trailer house or great grand-daddy's farm. They drive a 1973 model pick-up truck because the 1956 model is up on blocks in the back yard waiting till there is money to replace the rear tires. As a rule these are the salt of the earth type folks that will come along when you've broke down, and give you a lift to the next gas station and then try and buy you an RC cola and a moon pie! My hippie van got stuck on a big rock in the center a gravel road in the North Georgia hills many years ago. My Colombian born wife almost died when she saw that two giant toothless brothers came out of the woods to help us. With a grin from ear to ear they lifted the back of the van off the rock and told us "you know, y'all is about the 4Th car this week to get hung up on that danged rock, if we had a phone, we'd call the county about it!" We thanked them, but they wouldn't take a dime!
Word of warning, when a Southerner or Redneck Southerner climbs up on that tree over the river and yell's "Hey y'all watch this!" Get out of his way, it's probably the last thing he'll ever say!
Drivers, well we have our share of bad ones, like anyplace else, but if you DON'T give the lane up to someone who is turning, or signal the little old Lady to cross in front of you, then YOU are our bad driver. The rest of us welcome you on our roads.
Ocklawaha
Historian
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02-18-2008, 07:20 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
541 posts, read 617,797 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ocklawaha
Don't come to Jacksonville, and throw around the term "Yankee", or tell locals how much better they did such and such back North. You'll quickly get on everyone's list. Likewise, for your own survival, don't try and insult a Southerner by calling him a Yankee...it could get nasty REAL fast.
Don't throw away your heavy coats and jackets. While it's true this winter has been mild, not all of them are. I have seen freezes by Thanksgiving and as late as April. I will also recall to those newbies here, of the day less then 20 years ago when I worked outside... The temp NEVER got above 10 degrees all day, that evening it hovered at 8 in Orlando! Sleet mixed with snow fell far into Central Florida and Billions of dollars of Citrus were ruined. So yes, you can usually surf or swim around Christmas, but every couple of years, you'll have good use for that fireplace!
Heat and Sweet Tea. I have a theory that our love of extreme sweets came from back in the days when before freezers, a cool drink of water was as good as it got. When the humidity is at 100% and their isn't a cloud in the sky, the temps are pushing 100... it is so darn hot you COULD fry eggs on the fender of the car. Sudden floods of sweet juices such as Southern style Sweet tea, gives and restores energy. Most come South and complain about the tea, and pie's or other super sweets... by mid August, you should be able to eat your pecan pie and drink your sweet tea without making a face.
Confederate Flags, in spite of what many think they know, this does not mean someone hates someone else! It is more of a statement of in-your-face we stood up to the whole US government and it took them 5 years to beat us. We tend to be bull headed like that. There are groups like Sons or Daughters of the Confederate Veterans that all have little flag decals or lapel pins. They also show up and the Klan rallies... The news loves those staged shots. What they cut out is the SCV or UDC members are waving the flag and screaming at the Klan "HERITAGE NOT HATE!" or "If this flag makes you hate, you need a history lesson!" Oh and YES, the SCV and UDC have black and white members.
Rednecks, good ole boys, happy go lucky, usually poor as dirt, Dukes of Hazard types that live in a small trailer house or great grand-daddy's farm. They drive a 1973 model pick-up truck because the 1956 model is up on blocks in the back yard waiting till there is money to replace the rear tires. As a rule these are the salt of the earth type folks that will come along when you've broke down, and give you a lift to the next gas station and then try and buy you an RC cola and a moon pie! My hippie van got stuck on a big rock in the center a gravel road in the North Georgia hills many years ago. My Colombian born wife almost died when she saw that two giant toothless brothers came out of the woods to help us. With a grin from ear to ear they lifted the back of the van off the rock and told us "you know, y'all is about the 4Th car this week to get hung up on that danged rock, if we had a phone, we'd call the county about it!" We thanked them, but they wouldn't take a dime!
Word of warning, when a Southerner or Redneck Southerner climbs up on that tree over the river and yell's "Hey y'all watch this!" Get out of his way, it's probably the last thing he'll ever say!
Drivers, well we have our share of bad ones, like anyplace else, but if you DON'T give the lane up to someone who is turning, or signal the little old Lady to cross in front of you, then YOU are our bad driver. The rest of us welcome you on our roads.
Ocklawaha
Historian
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What a very dramatic post....hollywood needs you Ocklawaha....I have not seen anything as extremely redneck here in Jax as you just described. You have a very vivid imagination! Take a bow my friend!!
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02-18-2008, 07:39 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Oct 2007
40 posts, read 34,367 times
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correction
Thanks CK123, I did intend to state that there was no State income tax, and not sales tax, as originally posted.
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02-18-2008, 09:49 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
541 posts, read 617,797 times
Reputation: 196
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ocklawaha
Don't come to Jacksonville, and throw around the term "Yankee", or tell locals how much better they did such and such back North. You'll quickly get on everyone's list. Likewise, for your own survival, don't try and insult a Southerner by calling him a Yankee...it could get nasty REAL fast.
Don't throw away your heavy coats and jackets. While it's true this winter has been mild, not all of them are. I have seen freezes by Thanksgiving and as late as April. I will also recall to those newbies here, of the day less then 20 years ago when I worked outside... The temp NEVER got above 10 degrees all day, that evening it hovered at 8 in Orlando! Sleet mixed with snow fell far into Central Florida and Billions of dollars of Citrus were ruined. So yes, you can usually surf or swim around Christmas, but every couple of years, you'll have good use for that fireplace!
Heat and Sweet Tea. I have a theory that our love of extreme sweets came from back in the days when before freezers, a cool drink of water was as good as it got. When the humidity is at 100% and their isn't a cloud in the sky, the temps are pushing 100... it is so darn hot you COULD fry eggs on the fender of the car. Sudden floods of sweet juices such as Southern style Sweet tea, gives and restores energy. Most come South and complain about the tea, and pie's or other super sweets... by mid August, you should be able to eat your pecan pie and drink your sweet tea without making a face.
Confederate Flags, in spite of what many think they know, this does not mean someone hates someone else! It is more of a statement of in-your-face we stood up to the whole US government and it took them 5 years to beat us. We tend to be bull headed like that. There are groups like Sons or Daughters of the Confederate Veterans that all have little flag decals or lapel pins. They also show up and the Klan rallies... The news loves those staged shots. What they cut out is the SCV or UDC members are waving the flag and screaming at the Klan "HERITAGE NOT HATE!" or "If this flag makes you hate, you need a history lesson!" Oh and YES, the SCV and UDC have black and white members.
Rednecks, good ole boys, happy go lucky, usually poor as dirt, Dukes of Hazard types that live in a small trailer house or great grand-daddy's farm. They drive a 1973 model pick-up truck because the 1956 model is up on blocks in the back yard waiting till there is money to replace the rear tires. As a rule these are the salt of the earth type folks that will come along when you've broke down, and give you a lift to the next gas station and then try and buy you an RC cola and a moon pie! My hippie van got stuck on a big rock in the center a gravel road in the North Georgia hills many years ago. My Colombian born wife almost died when she saw that two giant toothless brothers came out of the woods to help us. With a grin from ear to ear they lifted the back of the van off the rock and told us "you know, y'all is about the 4Th car this week to get hung up on that danged rock, if we had a phone, we'd call the county about it!" We thanked them, but they wouldn't take a dime!
Word of warning, when a Southerner or Redneck Southerner climbs up on that tree over the river and yell's "Hey y'all watch this!" Get out of his way, it's probably the last thing he'll ever say!
Drivers, well we have our share of bad ones, like anyplace else, but if you DON'T give the lane up to someone who is turning, or signal the little old Lady to cross in front of you, then YOU are our bad driver. The rest of us welcome you on our roads.
Ocklawaha
Historian
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Some of the things you described here are like a horror film for a northern transplant. You should write Stephen King style books that scare the crap out of people from the northeast and the rest of the country for that matter!
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02-19-2008, 08:34 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Klatu Nebula
130 posts, read 152,115 times
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Hollywood, Ocklawaha and the Races...
Stephen King works for the National Weather Service...
Record Low Temperatures Jan Feb Mar Apr May June July Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
JACKSONVILLE, FL 7 19 23 34 45 47 61 63 48 36 21 11
ATLANTIC CITY C.O.,NJ -2 1 2 22 36 45 53 50 42 27 19 4
NEWARK, NJ -8 -7 6 16 33 43 52 45 35 28 15 -1
Anyone that wants to deny my "Southern Pride Theory" I defy you to go to nearby Lulu, Two Egg, Jasper, or Lake Butler and tell the first big ol boy in a red pick-up truck, "You stupid Yankee!"
I just want to watch... Hey Y'all watch this, it ought to be fun.
By the way, I'm a Southern ex-hippie (if there is any such animal) married to a Colombian born Franciscan Nun... We met in California, while I worked on "The Rape of Mrs R's Daughter" (Now get this right, I wasn't raping Mrs R's Daughter) I worked for Dan Curtis Productions and we were filming the NBC Movie of the Week. I lasted through several small projects then quit when I had to work for a stupid little dog named Benji over at Universal (a real horror story!) Now THAT'S Hollywood!
Hope all our friends from New Jersey, get the humor!
Hee Hee
Ocklawaha
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02-19-2008, 08:42 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Oct 2007
356 posts, read 269,752 times
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i think your description is pretty spot on, actually. bravo.
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02-19-2008, 09:46 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Middleburg, FL
619 posts, read 493,023 times
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I didn't read all posts, so if any of this is a repeat of someone else's observation, my apologies:
1. If you want to watch a Jags football game, go to the stadium. It may or may not be blacked out on TV.
2. Sweet tea is one of the four food groups.
3. Get rid of all but 1 - 2 of your sweaters. It does get cold here, but the cold doesn't last long. Keep your long sleeve shirts!
4. Love bugs: learn to live with them.
5. If you live at the beach, it takes forever to get anywhere that isn't at the beach.
6. If you don't like the current weather, wait ten minutes.
7. Folks are very hospitable here, but there is a better-than-average chance that they don't care how you did things up north!
8. Wildfires to the west and south of town every couple to few years: deal with them.
9. Tasers work well on most of the palmetto bugs around here.
10. If someone says "sir" or "ma'am", it has nothing to do with your age. It's about respect. We were just raised that way. 
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02-19-2008, 11:09 AM
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southern fried yankee
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: St. Augustine FL
1,634 posts, read 1,224,308 times
Reputation: 2226
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joninclay
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2. Sweet tea is one of the four food groups.
6. If you don't like the current weather, wait ten minutes.
9. Tasers work well on most of the palmetto bugs around here.
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Classic! 
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02-19-2008, 01:54 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Oct 2007
793 posts, read 840,646 times
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1. Jacksonville is always under construction.
2. Not everyone's in their retirement age, but most drive like they are.
3. Downtown is for people to work in, not your weekend getaway.
4. Get to know the malls and the beach.
5. Get to know popular destinations outside of JAX.
6. Lovebugs, WTF ARE THESE THINGS.
7. Your car will never stay clean, #6 part to blame.
8. Temperature drops below 50s during winter.
9. Bugs, lots of bugs.
10. People are nice in general, if you're being nice.
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