I am having a difficult time in Fernandina Beach- please help (Miami: salons, foreclose)

[whatnow]

Originally Posted by riveree

This is just sad .

Maybe it's a small town issue, maybe it's just bad luck that you're running into a bunch of obnoxious people. Either way, life is too short. If you're not happy in a place, start making plans to move. The process of planning the move and getting closer to it day by day will sustain you while you wait it out. Talk to your husband, he might welcome a change as well. Best of luck .

I agree that if you are unhappy, move. That's what I do. Actually, I am considering N.FL (east or west), GA, AL, MS, SC, NC, or VA because I am so very tired of being cold - even now, in June.
My question - why not live in Jax since your husband works there. Jax is a pretty big city; surely you could find your spot there, no? Some of the things you decribed are things that go on everywhere to some degree - even in Northern Minnesota. ha-ha!
Best wishes and have a nice trip to Charleston.

[Ollie1946]

The social fabric of our entire society is stretched thin. People have lost a lot of their wealth. They are afraid and should be. They are living in homes with huge upside down mortgages. Those who are retired are worried about their futures. The wife of a surgeon isn't going to worry about the future by and large. There is likely resentment.

Outsiders have made Fernandina tough for the natives cost wise. This has occurred in the North Georgia region as well. Money comes in, taxes and cost of living goes up. The natives are squeezed.

My family has enjoyed FB since I was 2 years old and before. I am 62. My mother is buried in Bosque Belle. My enjoyment of FB has nothing to do with other people. When I am in Shoneys, the servers are polite and helpful. I am polite to them and I tip well for their labor. If I find a store with poor service and "attitude", then I vote with my feet and my wallet. I do that everywhere.

There is a general discontentment and coarseness throughout our land. Just watch how people drive. Watch how they *** on their cellphones as if they are the only people in a room or on a road. No, it is pitiful.

One day, the paper mills will be closed down. If the economy doesn't whack them, the environmentalists will. Just a matter of time. FB will be even more depressed. Check out how many places are for sale. Huge numbers.

My best advice to you is get a dog. A mixed breed from a shelter. I guarantee you it will be the best therapy you can ever imagine. My dogs don't mind if I stink. In fact, I think they sort of enjoy it on occasion.

Cut yourself a break.

[904jax]

This seems like a classic case of: "wherever you go there you are." While geographic location and local cultural idiosyncrasies will have an impact on your experience and quality of life, the most important element in how you relate to Fernandina Beach and Fernandina Beach relates to you is on the inside. A positive outlook will create positive experiences.

[staywarm2]

Originally Posted by Ollie1946

The social fabric of our entire society is stretched thin. People have lost a lot of their wealth. They are afraid and should be. They are living in homes with huge upside down mortgages. Those who are retired are worried about their futures.

There is a general discontentment and coarseness throughout our land. Just watch how people drive. Watch how they *** on their cellphones as if they are the only people in a room or on a road. No, it is pitiful.

You are so right. People all over the US have changed. People are less gracious and sometimes rather mean. Last year when I got my flu shot at Kroger, a woman came up to me in the line and said that her "number" was one ahead of mine and insisted that she stand in line in front of me. Like one person's quick shot would make a big difference in the time she'd be spending. People are arrogant and inconsiderate in many places, especially on the highway. Forget about southern hospitality. It's going away with the constant migration of people from everywhere. Most people are selfish and self-centered. It's a sad thing that our society has changed so much.

[seeriously]

Originally Posted by newtoflorida

StarlaJane,

I must admit to you that I am as "traditionalist" and conservative as it gets, and a stickler about many things. The women who were at this party didn't seem conservative- they just tried to play the part. Now I realize this is going to sound very snobby, but it is a fact. I am not labeling Charleston as a better place than Fernandina Beach, but Charleston is a place where it's easy to spot a lady who understands social graces, ettiquette and interaction. The women there are very confident and don't have a need to wear flashy labels or talk about how much they paid for something- in fact, the brag when they buy something for nearly nothing because most of them are practical.
When I was at the Fernandina Beach party, these women weren't holding their drinking glasses properly, nor did they have good posture. They talked about topics that are linked to money. IMO, genuine traditionalists and conservatives are just that- conservative. They aren't flashy and would never be caught talking about money because it is tasteless to do that-atleast I think it is. I think traditionalists are more into simplicity and like to embrace more old-fashioned values in life. These women don't even come close to being traditionalists- they didn't even seem to care about higher education.

Perhaps I was the one who came across as a snob, and I am willing to admit that there are some aspects to my personality that could easily be perceived as that way, but overall, I am nice to people and accept them into my life as a friend, as long as they are good people and accept me. I wouldn't typically judge a person on how they dress or hold their wine glass, but when I notice a woman who is portraying herself as some sort of haughty taughty socialite in the community, as these women were doing, I can't help but recognize the fact that their appearance on the surface and who they really are doesn't add up.

I thought about this for a long time last night, and talked about it with my husband. I am planning to return to Charleston for a couple of weeks to sort things out. He doesn't understand how I feel because he isn't a very emotional person. He did suggest that we could possibly sell our home and move to Ponte Vedra Beach but a friend of mine from Charleston told me that it is also "nouveau riche." I am more interested in moving to San Marco or an area that consists of older homes and older residents.

Well everyone, I will keep you posted. Thank you again for your replies to my concern.

You prattle like on like a judgmental fool about women's posture and the proper way to hold a drink. If you were my neighbor, I'd be pulling my shades tight and walking past you like you're a cloud of swine flu. Don't you know what's important in life? Do you have any real friends? Doubtful because if you can't get past the arch of a stranger's back or the way she holds her glass then you're worse than a snob... you're self-absorbed and delusional. Good luck!

[whatnow]

Ollie1946 - such a good post!!!!

[whatnow]

Originally Posted by 904jax

This seems like a classic case of: "wherever you go there you are." While geographic location and local cultural idiosyncrasies will have an impact on your experience and quality of life, the most important element in how you relate to Fernandina Beach and Fernandina Beach relates to you is on the inside. A positive outlook will create positive experiences.

I agree with you. In your last sentence; a positive outlook will create positive experiences - not just for yourself, but for others too. Also, when people are kind to eachother it eventually rubs off and gets passed around!! I just have to trust that is true, anyway.

[newtoflorida]

Originally Posted by verobeach

You prattle like on like a judgmental fool about women's posture and the proper way to hold a drink. If you were my neighbor, I'd be pulling my shades tight and walking past you like you're a cloud of swine flu. Don't you know what's important in life? Do you have any real friends? Doubtful because if you can't get past the arch of a stranger's back or the way she holds her glass then you're worse than a snob... you're self-absorbed and delusional. Good luck!

Oh please. If you came to the board seeking an argument from me, you aren't going to get one. I will, however, elaborate more extensively on my opinion(s) because it is clear that you have failed to grasp my meaning in pointing out the glass and postures issues. Do you really think I walk around in society and judge these things? No, I don't, but if I happen to encounter pseudo elitists (like the women at the party) who try so hard to portray the proper and refined image, only to "keep up with the Joneses" and act snobby to others, I can't help but pay close attention to their mannerisms, or the lack of (which was the case in this situation). If these women had just been themselves and had not attempted to play a superficial role, I wouldn't have taken note about their posture or their glass. All I had to do was take one close look at them and it was abundantly clear that their top priority was to "trump" each other with the cost of their golf clubs and travertine tiles. I thought it was classless for these women to stand in the kitchen of someone who had invited them to the party, and criticize the woman's floor, as though it wasn't good enough. Again.... PLEASE!
Since returning to Charleston and talking to some of my own friends about my experiences, I feel much better and realize that I have made a mistake by interacting with people with whom I have nothing in common. In fact, my own friends told me, "You should be more selective when socializing in that town." They were right.

[Rock Newman]

Originally Posted by newtoflorida

I am interested in reading the other post you referenced to in your post. Can you tell me where I may it? I am beginning to feel like I am the problem and not others. I have even considered leaving my husband to get away from Fernandina Beach, as I just can't seem to get along here. I am surprised to hear your input about this because I recognize a huge difference between Fernandina Beach and just about any other place I can think of. How is it that you haven't encountered any of these issues when I seem to see it everyday? How long have you lived in Fernandina Beach?

You sound like a heck of a wife ..... poor guy I pity him . Leave your husband because you do not like Fernandina Beach ... now I have read it all !!!

[Scientifical Madness]

Originally Posted by verobeach

You prattle like on like a judgmental fool about women's posture and the proper way to hold a drink. If you were my neighbor, I'd be pulling my shades tight and walking past you like you're a cloud of swine flu. Don't you know what's important in life? Do you have any real friends? Doubtful because if you can't get past the arch of a stranger's back or the way she holds her glass then you're worse than a snob... you're self-absorbed and delusional. Good luck!

Wow, I think what she was trying to say is that these folks (probably rich retirees from the north, lets be honest) were yapping about money, and what kind of car they have, and how much money their husband made, etc... they are trying to act like they are marvelous, yet they arent even holding thier wine glasses properly, etc... I dont see it as she was bashing them, she just thought it was odd. Atleast, that's how I see the post.

I see the same thing all the time... rich, snobby people (younger though - not at the retirement age)) bragging in the workout rooms, at the hair salons, etc... about how much money their husband's make, what kind of car/purse they have, how much money their house in CA/Mass/NY sold for.... blah blah blah... and yet, they are so proud of themselves and look down on people like my wife and I, FL natives, who dont have some of these things. And to make it even more ridiculous, these "housewives" dont work, all they do is workout and brag about what they got. It's pretty sad. And to make it even more interesting, my wife and I live in some of the neighborhoods that they do, but we would never talk like that. That's the difference between being a conservative FL native and a yappy, hoity toity.