I am having a difficult time in Fernandina Beach- please help (Jacksonville: fit in, sales)

[newtoflorida]

Hi everyone, I am new to this board and came here because I am hoping to hear some answers and better understand what I am doing wrong. I am new to Fernandina Beach and I moved here from a larger southern city. We moved to Fernandina because my husband transferred with his career (he is a Physician in Jacksonville) and we thought Fernandina Beach would be a nice place to call home because of it's quaintness and close proximity to the beach. Since moving here, I have had nothing but problems with the people and my attempts to complete business transactions smoothly and successfully. Is it just me or do these residents on the island carry themselves with an unusual arrogance about them? For example, when I contact people via telephone for business purposes (as a paying customer), they act almost as though I am imposing on them. When I enter the shops, the clerks and owners are very standoffish and once again act as though I am imposing on their time. No one greets me and they look at me like, "Well who are you?" It is getting very old, very qucikly because I am accustomed to living in a more refined atmosphere and interacting with people who have some class by demonstrating mutual respect. Socially, I find the women here to be shallow. Everytime I attend a party, they stand over in a corner and gossip about other people on the island and it is so obvious that they are just jealous about the people they are talking about. It is getting more and more ridiculous everyday. When I initially moved here, I was warned that I had made a mistake by a woman who is selling her home and told me that Fernandina is one of the most gossipy and unethical places she has lived. She pointed out that people have no ethics, standards or social class (that's how she described it). I was out and about recently, and I ended up in a conversation with some women at a salon (they were also having their hair done as well). They were well dressed and appeared to be polished but when I told them that my husband is a Surgeon in Jacksonville, they immediately shunned me and went out of their way to ignore me. I have never witnessed such petty behavior in my life. I didn't get it and still don't. They literally wouldn't have anything else to do with me after I told them that. Am I being unfair or is this just the way it is here? I am from Charleston and can't seem to fit in with the groups of people. I am so bothered by this.

[BlueWillowPlate]

Hmm.
Your post sounds very similar to someone else who was complaining about Fernandina's "lack of class" and the way she, a "paying customer" was treated while back.
But I will assume that is not the case.
We've been here in Amelia Park (not far from downtown) for two years now and not only are we *not* shunned, we actually have made good friends and have enjoyed ourselves socially. When out walking my dogs,I am not always well dressed or polished but it doesn't seem to matter either way.
In my experience, most shopkeepers in downtown bend over backwards to be welcoming and helpful, especially during these hard economic times.
Arrogance and jealousy in Fernandina?
Sorry, I just neither see it nor experience it.
Small town politics and good ole boy networking?
Yes, there is certainly that, though with the recent city election, I think there will be a shakeup in town.
Do you work? Maybe you could take part in some of the activities offered, such as the nature walk at Egan's Creek, or volunteer at the museum. Perhaps that might help you meet more like-minded people.

[newtoflorida]

I am interested in reading the other post you referenced to in your post. Can you tell me where I may it? I am beginning to feel like I am the problem and not others. I have even considered leaving my husband to get away from Fernandina Beach, as I just can't seem to get along here. I am surprised to hear your input about this because I recognize a huge difference between Fernandina Beach and just about any other place I can think of. How is it that you haven't encountered any of these issues when I seem to see it everyday? How long have you lived in Fernandina Beach?

[newtoflorida]

Originally Posted by BlueWillowPlate

Hmm.
Your post sounds very similar to someone else who was complaining about Fernandina's "lack of class" and the way she, a "paying customer" was treated while back.
But I will assume that is not the case.
We've been here in Amelia Park (not far from downtown) for two years now and not only are we *not* shunned, we actually have made good friends and have enjoyed ourselves socially. When out walking my dogs,I am not always well dressed or polished but it doesn't seem to matter either way.
In my experience, most shopkeepers in downtown bend over backwards to be welcoming and helpful, especially during these hard economic times.
Arrogance and jealousy in Fernandina?
Sorry, I just neither see it nor experience it.
Small town politics and good ole boy networking?
Yes, there is certainly that, though with the recent city election, I think there will be a shakeup in town.
Do you work? Maybe you could take part in some of the activities offered, such as the nature walk at Egan's Creek, or volunteer at the museum. Perhaps that might help you meet more like-minded people.

I don't mean to sound rude but after reading your post, I am wondering if you are a realtor who is trying to boost the area and Amelia Park. It just sounds that way. I have been here for a while, and I can't imagine someone not experiencing in the shops atleast once what I have experienced so many times. I know it isn't my imagination because I have heard alot of people on the island agree with me- they have witnessed the same thing. What's so strange is that I haven't witnessed this behavior anywhere else in America.... NOWHERE!

[MINNIEMEME]

Let me just say I don't live in you area .But I will tell you this Don't make other peoples problems yours. They might be just jealous your husband is a Dr..I know plenty of people who act sweet to there so called friends and go and talk about them. I myself don't feel the need to talk about others I just do my own thing. I sure would not leave my husband over other people.Maybe next time don't tell them what your husband does just say he provides. lol Good Luck and just know you can't change other's just your self.Let this dry up and blow away go out and enjoy the day .

[joninclay]

I sure would not leave my husband over other people.

Amen to that! My joy is not contigent upon the acceptance of others. I love my wife, regardless of whether anyone else likes her, likes me, or where we live.

I'm not trivializing your situation, ma'am. I'm just saying that you live in a beautiful area, so don't let others cloud your view of what you have.

[BlueWillowPlate]

Originally Posted by newtoflorida

I don't mean to sound rude but after reading your post, I am wondering if you are a realtor who is trying to boost the area and Amelia Park. It just sounds that way. I have been here for a while, and I can't imagine someone not experiencing in the shops atleast once what I have experienced so many times. I know it isn't my imagination because I have heard alot of people on the island agree with me- they have witnessed the same thing. What's so strange is that I haven't witnessed this behavior anywhere else in America.... NOWHERE!

hah
I'm not exactly a sales type.
I am a daycare teacher who works for the YMCA's aftercare.
I moved here in May 2007.
Actually, now that I think about it, I have occasionally experienced a bit of snottiness in the Tommy Bahama shop. My reaction was to take my business elsewhere.
I can't imagine leaving my husband to get away from Fernandina Beach.
But then, I really haven't had a problem with being ostracized.
How does your husband feel about all this stuff? Does he not socialize with you when not at work?
Do you by any chance live in the Plantation? It *can* be sort of different world in the south end of the island. But you had complained about Downtown. Other than my experience at Tommy Bahama, I just don't see Downtown as being this snooty place--pretty much the opposite.

[newtoflorida]

If it's okay, I don't want to disclose where I live because it might reveal my identity and create animosity. I don't recall mentioning downtown in my post but I will go back and read it to make sure. Without slandering some of the businesses, I can say that I have experienced shop owners who seem completely uninterested in assisting me. There have been days when I've dressed very casually but had quite a bit of money to spend on furniture or clothing, and they would just sneer at me the minute I walked through the door. I went into another shop on Sadler and one of the women spent the whole time asking me nosy questions about myself and then began gossiping about some of the natives on the island- I have actually experienced a lot of this on the island. One of the main shops I really dislike is located on the south end and it is a joke because I have been in there several times and the owner has looked me right in the eye, walked by me and has said nothing EVERY SINGLE TIME. She is a gray haired lady who tries to play the role of a snob- there are plenty of those fakes around here too in that they like to pretend they are snobs, if that makes sense. But getting back to the place on the south end, I will tell you the name of that place because it has happened over and over again to the point where I won't return and don't care if she knows I said this- The Plantation Shoppe. I have been to some of the shops on Centre St. but can't recall a problem and have enjoyed my experiences there, but I don't really associate the downtown part of Fernandina with the rest of the island because of it's tourism. I actually like downtown because it seems artsy and a little more diverse, but it seems that as soon as I leave that area, things get really weird. My husband has noticed it as well but he doesn't have to deal with it because he is never here. He tells me that when a person is in Rome, he or she must do as the Romans. I don't really think the people here are snooty or snobbish- that is a term that I would use for New Yorkers or true elitist types. Here, in Fernandina Beach, people seem clannish. I can't really peg it but they just don't seem interested in wordly issues or charitable causes without there being some kind of motive to have their name attached to it for political reasons and they also seem very uninterested in getting to know anyone who presents a threat to them, financially or socially. It's almost as though they stick together to leave out someone who could potentially ruin their popularity, as strange as it sounds. Maybe it's an insecurity issue that I am sensing from these people- I just don't know.

[newtoflorida]

Originally Posted by BlueWillowPlate

hah
I'm not exactly a sales type.
I am a daycare teacher who works for the YMCA's aftercare.
I moved here in May 2007.
Actually, now that I think about it, I have occasionally experienced a bit of snottiness in the Tommy Bahama shop. My reaction was to take my business elsewhere.
I can't imagine leaving my husband to get away from Fernandina Beach.
But then, I really haven't had a problem with being ostracized.
How does your husband feel about all this stuff? Does he not socialize with you when not at work?
Do you by any chance live in the Plantation? It *can* be sort of different world in the south end of the island. But you had complained about Downtown. Other than my experience at Tommy Bahama, I just don't see Downtown as being this snooty place--pretty much the opposite.

I am curious to know what you mean by "snootiness." What happened at Tommy Bahama? What happened to make you think they were snooty, if you don't mind my asking?

[projectmaximus]

I really havent experience FB enough to have any opinion of the area, but I personally wouldnt care about other people. Just ignore them and move on. But I understand how this is difficult if you're accustomed to a particular social life, and to that I can only suggest you go out and find colleagues and friends in nearby areas. Good luck!