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Old 07-18-2011, 10:17 AM
 
10 posts, read 22,187 times
Reputation: 16

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In September 2009 I was laid off, My job for the 2 years I worked there was VERY stressful, required me to travel full time, by full time I mean get up at 2 or 3 in the morning, Monday morning for first flight out, spend the week at a customers site, then fly out late Friday, usually getting home between 8 and midnight, usually closer to midnight. Then I spent the weekends doing trip reports, expense reports, research, booking additional trips for weeks in future, doing clothes, packing for the next site etc which usually took up a day, then on Sunday would spend time with family then hit bed real early as had to be up at 2-3 AM for the next week. I did this for two full years, 49 weeks a year plus my previous employer prior to that half the time
Don't get me wrong, they paid very well for this. While we boomed monetarily for those two years and put some money aside knowing it likely would not last. The job itself took a toll on me personally and mentally. My family hated me being gone all the time. I was stressed and miserable and not in a good mood usually, being tired, not wanting to do much when I was home. I gained nearly 50 pounds travelling in those two years, which I have since lost. I look and feel like a different person now.

So, on to my point. My previous employer just asked if I was interested in coming back. I had gone back and forth with them a couple times since being laid off about coming back and maybe not travelling as much. In the end it did not work out as they really make money on Analysts travelling onsite full time. This time I suspect I either go back to travel full time or write them off.

I am at a conundrum, and yes I fully understand in this environment its not a bad conundrum to have with a possible job offer. Do I suck it up and take the job knowing my wife and kids would be upset with me? Let alone what it did to me mentally and physically over those two years? I know in the end they love me and want me to be happy and they know how hard it has been after 20 years to find myself not relevant in a career that I once proudly did and did well. Its odd that as bad as it was for my family me being gone, and as bad as it was for me mentally and physically, I loved doing what I did, I was proud I was 'successful', that I had a place and a purpose. Maybe its because I always felt a job helped define you and as I have grown older I question whether that truly is the case?

Do I hang onto this dream of staying in IT or do I write it off and move on knowing its likely I may never be employed in IT again?

I am lucky in that I was able to live where I want as long as I was close to an airport. I have since being laid off, moved out of Atlanta and back home to a MUCH smaller town in another state. We are lucky in that our housing and expenses are very minimal, our home and vehicles are paid for, we are able to make it now in a most basic way. My wife and kids are okay with this, I though feel like I am not ready to be put out to pasture even though I chose to move to this small town knowing full well it was the end of my career unless I traveled or moved back to a big city.

I know this is more of a rant than anything, but how many feel they may be irrelevant in their career of so many years. How many are okay with going back to a basic job after years of working so hard to make a career? A career you were great at? I know in the end, the choices in these economic times were made for them. I am blessed that I may(maybe?) have a second chance, but at what cost physically and mentally?

In the end, I seriously love books and coffee, maybe its time to work at a B&N while they are still around (seriously)!

Last edited by McNamys; 07-18-2011 at 10:21 AM.. Reason: spelling, and I bet I missed a few still !
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Old 07-18-2011, 10:53 AM
 
123 posts, read 214,948 times
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So what have you been doing since getting laid off from that firm? Are you doing any freelancing in your field?
I have worked in jobs that required such work environments and now that I am in a more regular job, can't imagine going back to them.

In the end, it comes down to financial security and balancing your health needs.
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Old 07-18-2011, 11:00 AM
 
Location: NJ
17,579 posts, read 38,237,722 times
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So you are weighing your happiness and that of your family vs. money. No one can tell you the right answer, but as you have already cut your expenses and seem OK with that seems like you already made your choice.
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Old 07-18-2011, 11:12 AM
 
8,680 posts, read 12,823,996 times
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You gained 50 pounds when you worked for them, putting your health in jeopardy, and you say that your family would be upset with you if you took the job.

No offense, because I see you're new here, but why is this even a question?

Call me a Gen-Xer through and through, but there is no way in Hades I would even consider it. No job is worth sacrificing your health and your relationship with your loved ones. If you find yourself drawn to something else, then go for it.

Life is so very short--too short to make it even shorter in a job that makes you miserable. Do what makes you happy. You may not make a million bucks, but you will be rich in all the ways that matter.
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Old 07-18-2011, 12:56 PM
 
10 posts, read 22,187 times
Reputation: 16
Thanks for the replies, they are all much appreciated and its great to hear other views and opinions.
I know no one can tell me 'the right' answer but it is nice to hear what others think.

I did unemployment for about 6 months before branching out and finding some contract work. The work has dried up recently. My wife, kids and I just talked about it. I think they truly want me to just do what makes me happy, irregardless of the money. A supportive family is priceless, and for that I am blessed. [Don't get me wrong, they really rather me stay and not travel!]

My thought, as is my wife's was if this worked out, I could do the job knowing full well if its as bad as it was I could go back to where I was prior, without a job. In the interim, socking money away like I did previously, this time with expectations that I could use the money when a slot opens up at school for something in healthcare which would have been my alternative many times over previously but financial obligations and other reasons kept me from pursuing it.

It seems, like I am sure others have found out before me, that being laid off from one career path means when you go to look even for a job in retail or service industry you are competing with people that actually have done it while you have not, and employers see you as likely to jump ship anyway since you were not doing this before.

I truly am conflicted, I hate to pass up the opportunity as it is money, and yeah while the big things are paid for, we do not have health insurance, we still owe taxes and utilities and gas and food (Yeah I know, we still are very blessed, and I appreciate and know this all too well!) We have money to wait it out for some time but I hate spending what we saved sitting for a local opportunity.
Thanks again!
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Old 07-18-2011, 03:12 PM
 
Location: NJ
17,579 posts, read 38,237,722 times
Reputation: 16097
I couldn't tell from your OP, did you already try and discuss a somewhat less hectic travel schedule this time around?
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Old 07-18-2011, 03:30 PM
 
10 posts, read 22,187 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by manderly6 View Post
I couldn't tell from your OP, did you already try and discuss a somewhat less hectic travel schedule this time around?
Yeah, they have approached me previously, more than a couple times. The last time, first part of this year I told them I would be more than happy to travel part time, preferably just a week or two a month or even just a few days a week. In the end nothing came out of it as the owner said he would get back with me, was working on something and did not hear back till now asking if I was ready to come back. I suspect they(he) is hoping given enough time and circumstance, I would be forced to come back on their terms, i.e. full time travel

Last edited by McNamys; 07-18-2011 at 03:53 PM..
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Old 07-18-2011, 10:09 PM
 
Location: NJ
17,579 posts, read 38,237,722 times
Reputation: 16097
Quote:
Originally Posted by McNamys View Post
Yeah, they have approached me previously, more than a couple times. The last time, first part of this year I told them I would be more than happy to travel part time, preferably just a week or two a month or even just a few days a week. In the end nothing came out of it as the owner said he would get back with me, was working on something and did not hear back till now asking if I was ready to come back. I suspect they(he) is hoping given enough time and circumstance, I would be forced to come back on their terms, i.e. full time travel
I would at least bring it up again. Sounds like they want you pretty badly.
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Old 07-19-2011, 12:13 PM
 
10 posts, read 22,187 times
Reputation: 16
Default Nothing ventured, nothing gained so I asked

Quote:
Originally Posted by manderly6 View Post
I would at least bring it up again. Sounds like they want you pretty badly.
Thanks manderly6, that's exactly what I did this morning on a call with them, they *seemed* receptive to working out a more suitable home/work balance so fingers crossed this time it works out! I'll let everyone know as it progresses (or don't as the case may be)
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Old 07-19-2011, 03:16 PM
 
Location: NJ
17,579 posts, read 38,237,722 times
Reputation: 16097
Good luck.
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