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Old 08-21-2012, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Temporarily, in Limerick
2,898 posts, read 5,215,141 times
Reputation: 3424

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Quote:
Originally Posted by thebunny View Post
I would stay away from the written references. They are old and why call attention to the fact that she has references just not current ones. I say put off mention or discussion of references as long as possible.
Fair enough. Sounds good.

At least we are finding the humor in hardship. I mentioned your post to my cousin & she said she will put off reference discussion as long as possible. Once mentioned, she'll 'accidentally' dump a cup of coffee on the interviewer & race out of the room, yelling over her shoulder that thank you, yes, she'd love to start tomorrow. Hahaha Ah, well... we're trying.
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Old 08-21-2012, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,234 posts, read 14,006,402 times
Reputation: 25890
Quote:
Originally Posted by PatanjaliTwist View Post
Without getting too personal, may I ask what you will say about not wanting them to call your last boss? And, is your long list of references previous co-workers? Here's why I ask... I'm trying to get together something usable for my cousin. She never had any co-workers... always a 1 person office. And, she's a bit light on friends... her life was taking care of her husband. The 'couple' friends have disappeared & are on Team Husband & don't want to get in the middle, so are not even returning calls.

Still my only thought around her dilema is to say she's currently employed & doesn't want the current boss to be called. I guess I'm thinking if they ask why during an interview, she can't keep answering vaguely without eventually giving something plausible which will suffice. I just can't figure out what that excuse can be & the more I think about the divorce reply, the more off I feel about it. I like to completely separate my work & personal life. When I've broken up with SOs... most in the office never heard about it 'til long after the home drama was over... but, that's just me. Also, in our current day of rage this & rage that... were I in a hiring position, I might be a bit trepidacious of someone reporting hostile ex problems right out of the gate... don't want to invite in a lad in need of restraints & a good strong sedative visiting the office one day when he's feeling the need to lash out at the one who left him. First impressions & all...

Thank you again for your help! And, good luck with your upcoming search!
If they ask why I answered 'no' on calling my supervisor, I will answer something to the effect that she has been a liability for carelessness with references. I think they will understand this.

My list of references were all people within the organization I worked in. Most were in our department and a few are even managers (other divisions). A couple work in other jurisdictions.

Did your cousin deal with customers at all? If so, are there a couple willing to be references for her?

She can always write in her resume/cover letters "References available upon request" (which is what I do), and have a couple of contacts for standby.

Take care and good luck.
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Old 08-21-2012, 09:43 PM
 
Location: California
4,402 posts, read 11,631,312 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PatanjaliTwist View Post
Right, TB... but this job cannot be verified anyway... her husband won't give a reference, she has no paystubs, etc. It's only by a few months. Otherwise, she's got to come up with reasons he can't be called for a reference & therein lies the messy divorce story. Change your mind?

She's nervous enough having to interview. All past jobs were for friends or family & were offered to her. Just trying to get the resume done, then do some practice interviews with her beforehand, so she can feel comfortable addressing whatever might come up... not that I'm a genius interviewer. But, I'm doing the best I can.

Thank you again for your help!
No, believe it or not, I don't think the messy divorce and calling the ex as a reference is that bad. He is going to say horrible rotten things. The motivation will be obvious. Years ago, I had an ex boss TRASH me in a reference (I reported her, she got demoted, she was mad) and all the company said was that her behavior validated what I had said about her. So, I am still not that convinced.
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Old 08-21-2012, 09:44 PM
 
Location: California
4,402 posts, read 11,631,312 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PatanjaliTwist View Post
Fair enough. Sounds good.

At least we are finding the humor in hardship. I mentioned your post to my cousin & she said she will put off reference discussion as long as possible. Once mentioned, she'll 'accidentally' dump a cup of coffee on the interviewer & race out of the room, yelling over her shoulder that thank you, yes, she'd love to start tomorrow. Hahaha Ah, well... we're trying.
LOL. Humor is good.
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Old 08-21-2012, 10:30 PM
 
Location: Temporarily, in Limerick
2,898 posts, read 5,215,141 times
Reputation: 3424
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluesmama View Post
Did your cousin deal with customers at all? If so, are there a couple willing to be references for her?
Thanks again for your reply BluesM. You know, I wish there were... she only handled her husband's reports, typed presentations, work expense tracking, conducted research & didn't take/make calls, etc... but on paper it looks as if she were in a black hole & just fell out of it last month. In fact, I went so far as to ask if she has a teacher from school she can contact. It was long ago, but, I'm trying anything here... there was a very long pause & she said her school shut down years ago... it's now upscale condos. Also, no college. Like I said, if I didn't know her (& I may be her only reference, personal & family, but at least one), I might not even believe her 'secret life in the CIA' story. I wonder if she has a passport or driving license to prove she actually has a birthdate...

Quote:
Take care and good luck.
Cheers & to you, as well.

I think we need to just get it all out on paper, references or not & just go for it. I was actually wondering if a work environment were a bit more lax in attire & perhaps smaller in size, they'd be more inclined to give a chance to someone... because they're not so concerned with conformity? If it's a stuffy or dressy corporate office or law/gov't where A+B must = C... perhaps not so much. She probably needs to apply for places which don't mind bending rules.

In any event, I've got the resume ready now (worked on it all day), just need to tweak it tomorrow, then get her started on LinkedIn & Monster. If you or anyone has recommendations on other websites to post, I'm all ears. I'm a bit new at this, as well. Just getting familiar myself with changing CV over to resume format. Still not sure I've chosen the right one, but again, it's a learning experience for both of us.
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Old 08-21-2012, 10:35 PM
 
Location: Temporarily, in Limerick
2,898 posts, read 5,215,141 times
Reputation: 3424
Quote:
Originally Posted by thebunny View Post
No, believe it or not, I don't think the messy divorce and calling the ex as a reference is that bad. He is going to say horrible rotten things. The motivation will be obvious. Years ago, I had an ex boss TRASH me in a reference (I reported her, she got demoted, she was mad) and all the company said was that her behavior validated what I had said about her. So, I am still not that convinced.
Good for you Bunny for following through. Isn't it awful adults can behave like this? I had a friend who once said hottubs should be installed in every place of biz & we should have 1/2-hr before lunch to relax, then eat & return to work. There'd be less stress.

He may be right, but I'm thinking there may be a whole lot more workplace hanky panky going on, too. Bikinis in the boardroom. Hey, that might be a new reality show concept.
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Old 08-21-2012, 10:52 PM
 
Location: Temporarily, in Limerick
2,898 posts, read 5,215,141 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thebunny View Post
LOL. Humor is good.
Yes, when we got silly after our day of brainstorming, we came up with the best excuses for 'no references'. When asked, she should:

1. Get up & close the blinds. Whisper that she is in MI-5. This is her next undercover assignment, so just cut to the chase & fill out the new hire paperwork so she can get to her desk & work on completing her mission.

2. Find a nice office in which she'd like to work. Just show up for work & sit at an empty desk. When someone asks what she's doing, she should say, "Nothing yet. Got anything for me?" Someone sooner or later will hand he a stack of files.

3. Crash a party of biz execs. Get biz cards from as many as possible. On Mon am, take out one card. Show up at HR at that company, lay the card on the HR Director's desk & say, "When I was having dinner with xxx this weekend, s/he asked me to stop in to see you today for a job. Here's my resume. What's available?" FYI... I'm half kidding, but that might not be a bad idea if one has the gumption, akin to those who've the guts to wear sandwich boards with their resumes printed on them.


Hopefully, it won't be that difficult. Honestly, if she gets hired after her first interview, she owes me a nice dinner & a fine Irish ale!

Thank you so much everyone. I'll report back with her progress.
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Old 08-22-2012, 12:17 AM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,234 posts, read 14,006,402 times
Reputation: 25890
Quote:
Originally Posted by PatanjaliTwist View Post
Thanks again for your reply BluesM. You know, I wish there were... she only handled her husband's reports, typed presentations, work expense tracking, conducted research & didn't take/make calls, etc... but on paper it looks as if she were in a black hole & just fell out of it last month. In fact, I went so far as to ask if she has a teacher from school she can contact. It was long ago, but, I'm trying anything here... there was a very long pause & she said her school shut down years ago... it's now upscale condos. Also, no college. Like I said, if I didn't know her (& I may be her only reference, personal & family, but at least one), I might not even believe her 'secret life in the CIA' story. I wonder if she has a passport or driving license to prove she actually has a birthdate...



I've got the resume ready now (worked on it all day), just need to tweak it tomorrow, then get her started on LinkedIn & Monster. If you or anyone has recommendations on other websites to post, I'm all ears. I'm a bit new at this, as well. Just getting familiar myself with changing CV over to resume format. Still not sure I've chosen the right one, but again, it's a learning experience for both of us.

I perused JobDango.com this evening, and I liked that site. Check that one out. Beyond.com is another one. They will post resumes public if requested, and businesses do look at them. So far I've received 2 responses from insurance companies wanting to train agents. (Unfortunately, that is NOT my thing.)
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Old 08-22-2012, 06:59 AM
 
26,590 posts, read 54,664,791 times
Reputation: 13020
I have a hard time believing she had zero contact with anyone ever during that 10 year time frame.

References can be from volunteer work for the PTA or church as well.
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Old 08-22-2012, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Petticoat Junction
930 posts, read 1,643,101 times
Reputation: 1489
well, according to this forum, make them up

But I don't recommend that.
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