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Old 06-17-2013, 01:39 PM
 
7,422 posts, read 13,706,702 times
Reputation: 4944

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75 View Post
When someone calls to tell you that you were not selected, there is nothing else left to say but

"OK THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK AND HAVE A NICE DAY"
is anyone suggesting that you say much more than that?

i say "i'm disappointed to hear that but thanks for letting me know," whether the rejection is a phone call or a non-automated e-mail. the woman who really liked me, i talked to a little bit more because we get along well. i basically said i really admired her organization and to please keep me in mind if anything else comes up.

all anyone is saying is take the rejection gracefully because you never know when that company or that person (or sometimes even THAT JOB) is going to reappear in your job search. and you were acting all dismissive of that, as if that somehow means they were suggesting that you give up everything else and put all your hopes into being hired by that company. no one was saying that - it's ridiculous to imply that they were.
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Old 06-17-2013, 01:51 PM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
20 posts, read 126,521 times
Reputation: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Littlemiss1 View Post
Sorry to hear you didn't get the job! I don't think we interviewed for the same position because I interviewed with a female director.

And the good new is that I did get the job! Thanks everyone for telling me to be patient - it really does pay to wait! They are still waiting for clearance from the university but called to give me an informal offer. Since this nonprofit is separate from the university in funding, they don't expect a problem with getting cleared, it's basically a formality. I should be getting an official offer this week! (Of course, I'm still keeping all my options open in case this falls through, including going to another interview tomorrow).

That's great!!! Congratulations!!!
And good thinking about keeping your options open. Nowadays, in this market, we need a plan b, c and d!!!
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Old 06-17-2013, 07:07 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,611 posts, read 50,267,937 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by groar View Post
is anyone suggesting that you say much more than that?

i say "i'm disappointed to hear that but thanks for letting me know," whether the rejection is a phone call or a non-automated e-mail. the woman who really liked me, i talked to a little bit more because we get along well. i basically said i really admired her organization and to please keep me in mind if anything else comes up.

all anyone is saying is take the rejection gracefully because you never know when that company or that person (or sometimes even THAT JOB) is going to reappear in your job search. and you were acting all dismissive of that, as if that somehow means they were suggesting that you give up everything else and put all your hopes into being hired by that company. no one was saying that - it's ridiculous to imply that they were.

If it's a job you really wanted it's impossible to do all of that.
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Old 06-17-2013, 07:33 PM
 
2,633 posts, read 5,512,581 times
Reputation: 2871
No, it's not impossible to be a mature adult and realize that keeping options open has no downside. None.
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Old 06-17-2013, 07:57 PM
 
7,422 posts, read 13,706,702 times
Reputation: 4944
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75 View Post
If it's a job you really wanted it's impossible to do all of that.
it is certainly not impossible, at least not for everyone. i'm not sure what part you think is impossible but i've responded gracefully to a rejection for a job i really wanted, and i've also gotten a job at a place that initially rejected me. as far as the phone call goes, you just have to maintain control over your emotions for a couple of minutes and not, like, cry or scream or whatever until you get off the phone. maybe it's impossible for you, but you seem to have trouble understanding that not everyone thinks or behaves identically to you.

i work in a place where all the staff are constantly around dying or very very ill children and their families. they manage to get through it without breaking down all of the time - i can certainly deal with staying calm about a job rejection for literally a minute or two.

Last edited by groar; 06-17-2013 at 08:07 PM..
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:22 PM
 
17,000 posts, read 20,661,755 times
Reputation: 33987
OP, Congrats on the job!
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:24 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,611 posts, read 50,267,937 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by groar View Post
it is certainly not impossible, at least not for everyone. i'm not sure what part you think is impossible but i've responded gracefully to a rejection for a job i really wanted, and i've also gotten a job at a place that initially rejected me. as far as the phone call goes, you just have to maintain control over your emotions for a couple of minutes and not, like, cry or scream or whatever until you get off the phone. maybe it's impossible for you, but you seem to have trouble understanding that not everyone thinks or behaves identically to you.

i work in a place where all the staff are constantly around dying or very very ill children and their families. they manage to get through it without breaking down all of the time - i can certainly deal with staying calm about a job rejection for literally a minute or two.

Someone unemployed running out of UC checks is not going to want to stay on the phone too long after hearing someone else was hired
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:26 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,611 posts, read 50,267,937 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by EzPeterson View Post
No, it's not impossible to be a mature adult and realize that keeping options open has no downside. None.

I thought saying "thanks for the feedback and have a nice day" after hearing someone else was accepted was being a mature adult?

What is someone supposed to do after hearing someone is hired? Stay on the phone?
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:27 PM
 
7,422 posts, read 13,706,702 times
Reputation: 4944
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75 View Post
Someone unemployed running out of UC checks is not going to want to stay on the phone too long after hearing someone else was hired

well since all humans are different from each other, sometimes that is true and sometimes it isn't. sheesh. is it really that hard for you to understand that some people can do things that maybe you can't for whatever reason?

like, i can't run a mile in 4 minutes but i'm not going to then say it's impossible to do that.
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:28 PM
 
7,422 posts, read 13,706,702 times
Reputation: 4944
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75 View Post
I thought saying "thanks for the feedback and have a nice day" after hearing someone else was accepted was being a mature adult?

What is someone supposed to do after hearing someone is hired? Stay on the phone?
i already said what people should do (and you said that's impossible!). my example dialogue was two sentences long. and if you really are trying to say that anyone in this thread is saying "have a big long conversation with the person rejecting you", you are massively distorting things.
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