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Old 11-26-2013, 01:34 PM
 
2 posts, read 3,960 times
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Please bear with me if any of my questions sound stupid, I have severe Social Anxiety Disorder and OCD and I would say more than half of my anxiety comes from not knowing the proper etiquette during the interview. You would probably think why am I fussing over things like this when the interviewer probably won't even take notice, but it's a huge thing that contributes to my nervousness and anxiety for job interviews. I would definitely be much calmer if I know the social norm for the first two questions.

1) It's suggested to bring copies of your resume and a notepad to the interview. If the interviewer already has their own copy, do you keep your resume closed or do you ever bring it out in front of you to follow along? Is it accepted practice to follow along or does it come off as being unprepared and unsure about your own resume?

2) Do you automatically open your notepad at the start of the interview? Do you keep it on your lap or on the interviewer's desk? Do you jot down notes during the interview? Do you already have the questions you are going to ask written on the notepad before the interview?
I am apprehensive if I keep looking down at my lap it would come off as being panicky and scared, but I don't want the person to see what I've been writing down if I place it on their desk.

3) Does it look bad if my answers to behavioral and situational questions sound like they overlap each other? I have very limited work and volunteer experience so I have a hard time thinking of many different examples. Questions like "Why should we hire you" and "What are you strengths", I find I would basically be using the same examples and say the same thing over and over.

Say, I would have prepared three well thought-out answers to the weakness question, but if the interviewer asks for four weaknesses, my heart would start racing and my mind would go into overload and I would begin to stutter and stumble. I would likely blurt out an answer that I had prepared for another question, but then I would be panicking that now I don't have an answer for the other question and it would all go downhill from there and start repeating myself.


Hopefully my questions doesn't sound too stupid. I've always been awkward growing up and never learned how to socialize with people. I'm trying really hard to get out of the house and find work and break out of my shell. Thanks for all the help!
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Old 11-26-2013, 02:24 PM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,105 posts, read 80,190,829 times
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For you, the best thing to do is practice. The more interviews you take the more relaxed they will get. Even better, is to put the shoe on the other foot. Find friends or relatives that are willing to be helpful. Put yourself into the role of the interviewer and using the job announcement/requirements spend a couple of hours coming up with questions you would ask as the interviewer. If you get stuck, there are websites with sample questions for most jobs. Then do mock interviews where you are the hiring manager and have the friends make up answers. Try to really imerse yourself in that role as if you really needed to fill the position so you can understand the interviewer's point of view. Then come up with your own answers to the questions, and come up with good examples that demonstrate that you really did what you say and are not just making it up. You have to think of more strengths, but I can;t imagine asking for so many weaknesses, usually it's one or two. There is nothing wrong with saying you can only think of 3. You can always add something like this as a 4th: I sometimes find myself forgetting to leave work on time due to being anxious to finish my work and losing track of the time."

I would leave the resume in the notebook and use it only if you have to. It looks a lot better if you can remember everything off the top of your head. Too much looking at notes or a resume looks suspiciously like you made it up.
The notebook is good for jotting down a few words to remind you of the parts of a 3 part question, or for the answers to the questions you ask them at the end.

Be sure to research the company ahead of time and let them know how much you want to work for them - not just any job, based on what you learned about them. Give examples of what you learned and why that is important to you. Things like their commitment to the environment, recent growth in the industry, reputation for good treatment of employees, their use of technology etc.
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Old 11-26-2013, 02:48 PM
 
2,633 posts, read 6,377,716 times
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DEFINITELY practice! Find some common interview questions online and have a friend or parent walk you through a staged interview. Make it progressively more difficult - if you can find someone that you're not closely acquainted with to do a couple rounds (try local college job placement agencies or even a student looking for practice themselves) this will give you a bit more of a test outside of a familiar relationship.

Always bring at least 2 additional copies of your resume, in a folio binder with your notepad. You should know what's n there - no need for you to follow along.
Don't immediately flip it open, and never write on your lap (unless the setting doesn't allow any other options).
Make good eye contact, but don't be afraid to break it. This is most important when greeting the interviewer and when listening to the questions.
Count to two before responding to anything. This will slow you down and allow your mouth to catch up to your brain.
Keep 3-4 questions in your notepad. If something comes up in the course of conversation that you'd like clarity on, don't be afraid to ask.
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Old 11-26-2013, 02:59 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
2,257 posts, read 5,166,025 times
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As most have suggested, do practice. It will calm you down and prepare you well before the interview.

One thing that might help you prepare mentally is to treat an interview like a normal conversation. You don't have to do anything special really; just know your resume well and answer to the point. If you do not understand the question, especially behavioral questions or technical questions, feel free to ask for clarification. If still not sure, answer to their question and feel free to ask them if you answered their question or would need more clarification. I have done that numerous times and it never leaves a negative impression.

Take at least 3-4 copies of your resume in case they want you to meet a few additional team members. Feel free to take notes during interview but it should be very brief, mostly jotting down a few words, not sentences or paragraphs. I note down a few words while the interviewer is explaining what the team does or what the role is so I can use it to relate to my work experience. Keep your notepad/resume on the table, just like you would in a normal office meeting.

Regarding questions to ask the interviewer, yes, you can note them down and refer to them when it is your time to ask. It only shows you are prepared and have done your homework. An interview is not a memory test - you are not required to remember all fact & figures!
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Old 11-26-2013, 03:02 PM
 
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Do your research about the company beforehand!
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Old 11-26-2013, 03:07 PM
 
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To each their own, but I think the worst thing you can do is have specific planned answers. You need to be able to have a back and forth conversation. Don't be afraid to listen to the question, take a second to internally think through your thoughts, and then come back with an answer. People are usually so anxious and think they need to come back within half a second. Collect your thoughts, and lay things logically out in your head.

As for writing things down...of course you can. But I can't think of anything that's been said in an interview that I would have a problem remembering and need to write it down.
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Old 11-26-2013, 03:34 PM
 
2 posts, read 3,960 times
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Thanks everybody! I've only recently come to terms with having social anxiety so I still need some time to get to know myself and devour all the information. I have definitely started reflecting on my qualities and practicing in front of a mirror. I don't know how long it will take but I will definitely move on to video-taping myself and doing role-play as I get more comfortable.

I suppose part of my anxiety stems from the fact that in several interviews in the past, the interviewers mentioned that I was the most under-qualified applicant that they were seeing and the only reason I was given the chance was because of luck (interviewer saw I graduated from the same university, I studied a similar subject, etc). It made my heart sink a little thinking they don't really believe I'm qualified on paper to actually deserve an interview and made me question if they're really even considering me as a candidate for the job or just included me in the process for the heck of it. I get really sensitive with emotional cues and start over-reacting to the small stuff.

I know this kind of pessimistic thought would sink you, particularly in an interview, so I'm definitely trying to build up my confidence and find out what my true qualities are. How can you convince someone to hire you when you can't even convince yourself you're worth hiring, right? I may take a much longer time than most people but hopefully I will be able to finally turn the corner in the near future.

Thanks for taking the time to help me!

Last edited by dina88; 11-26-2013 at 04:13 PM..
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Old 11-27-2013, 02:25 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
2,257 posts, read 5,166,025 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dina88 View Post
...in several interviews in the past, the interviewers mentioned that I was the most under-qualified applicant that they were seeing and the only reason I was given the chance was because of luck
Did someone really say that? That is very unprofessional and I would never want to work with that person even if I was given the job. I have had to interview several under-qualified candidates in the past and even though I would know in the first 5 minutes that they are not the right person for the job, I would still be nice to them and end the interview by thanking them for their time and coming in.
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Old 11-27-2013, 03:21 PM
 
3,763 posts, read 12,494,291 times
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Agreed that is terribly unprofessional and I would not want to work at such a place!

In general, projecting confidence (I realize with your social disability that will take practice) is usually attractive to a hiring interviewer. They have a problem. They are hiring someone to fix that problem. They want to BELIEVE that you can do that for them.

How do you sound confident? You speak clearly, make eye contact, answer their questions directly, including saying, "Well, Interviewer - I've never been in the exact situation you've described, however - I was in a situation of a similar nature - and this is how I handled it"..

I once interviewed a candidate and asked them a question regarding their "decision making" skills. The person could not give me an example of ANY decisions they had made. EVER! They said "I'm not in a decision making position at my job". I told them it didn't matter - in life, in school, anywhere... They stared at me like a deer in headlights. I said - what about traffic lights on the way to work? They stared.

They did not get the job. They may have been brilliant, but they could not in any way communicate that to me (nor to anyone else on the interview committee).

As far as your specific questions --

resume copies are for any one you meet who does NOT already have a copy of your resume and seems to need it. (Associates who are 'ad hoc' added to your interview schedule, etc..)

Notepad - Don't write in your lap unless there is no table surface. Feel free to explain to the interviewer that you like to take notes, so that you can refer back to things later.

Having your questions - any prepared questions you want to ask - already written down is just fine.

I've always been impressed by candidates who ask some interesting questions. And - for those who take notes and can actually refer back to them.. very impressive.

" "Well, when I was speaking with X earlier, they mentioned that your main product, ACME SOAP, undergoes a 3 stage manufacturing process" - I was wondering if your company uses procedures such as Six Sigma or Lean to optimize your manufacturing processes"?

something like that - showing they were paying attention to an earlier colleague and are asking real questions about the business and their possible contributions -- that's very attractive!

good luck OP - do as the posters here suggest, and practice. You'll get there.
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Old 11-27-2013, 05:49 PM
 
2,845 posts, read 5,990,214 times
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I immediately open my notebook and put it on the table. Then I ask if anyone needs a copy of my resume, I have had to give it out before. If I interview one on one, when each person comes I ask them if they need a copy, and if they do I give them a few minutes to look it over if they are quiet and reading it.

Last interview I had the boss said I blew his mind away because I was so calm and prepared.

And yes I always practice, out loud, in front of the mirror, I google interview questions, good and bad answers, etc.
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